Why in the hell did I not think of looking here earlier??????? http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Family_Guy Peter Griffin: Gee, guys, I feel kinda bad. I promised Lois I wasn't gonna drink tonight. Quagmire: Aw, don't feel bad, Peter. Peter Griffin: Huh. I never thought of it that way. Peter is the ultimate Man. :H And I'm wearing a shirt of him right now. :H Where he fights the chicken. :H
Peter Griffin: Come on. Let's go. Fox is running one of those new reality shows at 8:00. Fast Animals, Slow Children. I love pretty much every aspect of the show, Burby.
Tom Tucker: Because of an accident at the Quahog Cable Company all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the Lord Jesus Christ. Think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you Diane? Diane Simmons: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people. Technician: You guys, we're still on in Boston.
Lois Griffin: You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me. Peter Griffin: Uh, what could me and you do together? [Lois laughs] Lois, you've got a sick mind! Lois Griffin: Peter, I'm talking about making love. Peter Griffin: Oh. I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money. Hahaha! This shit never gets old.
Meg Griffin: Oh, Daddy, you must think I'm the worst daughter ever! Peter Griffin: Aw, no you're not, honey. What about that fat girl from The Judds? !!!!
Lois Griffin: Chris, that's a horrible word. Pussywillows... oh god... i should devote more time to wikiquote.