baby suckling on another boob

i recently experienced a beautiful baby and his mother. the baby is 5 months old. although i had just met them, the three of us quickly became very very close (i'm sure you guys have all experienced that immediate comfort with someone before). at any rate, i was holding the little guy. his mom, who is incredably pro nursing (you guys'd love her!) told me to stick my boob in his mouth if he got fussy in my arms. at first i was like - huh? - i have no milk or anything - but lo and behold, that baby was goin for my boob. i verified with the mom that that was what she was intending, and then finally gave the baby my boob. it was an interesting experience because i had a small taste of the intimacies of being a mom. i was not in the slightest bit freaked out about using my boob, essentially, as a pacifier, although some of my friends thought it was 'strange' when they saw me with a small baby hickey the next day.
i thought it was beautiful and touching that the mom was willing to be so intimate with me. what do you guys think about this? would you ever encourage another 'non-mommy' to be so intimate with your baby?

 

It really depends. I have never wet nursed an other baby (although I have had people ask me to, even clients, just to see "if the baby is able to" in really challenging breastfeeding situations.) My main conern would be How much do YOU trust this mom? I have heard of situaitons where moms were what we call "cross nursing" each other's babies, or one mom doing day care and nursing a freind's baby.....and when the baby got sick, the "wet nursing mom" got blamed. This is one of the reasons La Leche League really doesn't support cross nurisng. People can get really weird when their kids get sick. My other issue would be actual tranmittable illnesses. Things like Hep A, B and C, HIV, toxoplasmosis, TB, CMV and herpes can be transmitted via human milk. (OK, the Herpes CANNOT, but a herpes lesion on the nipple CAN transmit the virus to the baby, a healthy 9 month old would probably be OK, this transmission could, however, cause serious damage in a newborn or a premie baby.) Also, HIV, herpes and some types of Hepatitis can be transmitted to a wet nurse via nursing an effected baby, even if the baby had no symptoms.

I'd be careful. If you are going to cross nurse make sure not only that you AND the baby are really healthy, but that the mother of the child is someone who you really KNOW isn't going to want to blame, if her baby gets sick or something happens.

I've worked with at least 4 moms whose babies got sick, or the mom had second thoughts after cross nursing, IMO, NONE of these babies got sick from the wet nurse, but ALL the moms were freaked out and 3 of them asked me about legal action, even though they themselves had encouraged the cross nursing.

It is wonderful to nurse a baby. But, in our times of litigation about everything, and in our times of uncurable viral infections, I'd be VERY careful.

Good luck.

 

so you were a binky

i dont think i would have ever told someone that with my younguns but at the same time i sure wished i could have with one of them. She thought she needed to be attached to a tit 24/7....

 

yes, maggie, i have no milk so i'm not a wet nurse. i'm just a human pacifier.

 

Ok, just make sure you trust the mama. If the baby suckles enough, you will start producing some fluid from your breasts. Also, lack of milk doesn;t stop some people from getting litigious if their baby gets sick. I am not saying this WILL happen, it is just something you want to be careful of. And, know if the baby is carrying anything, A lot of people have Hep and some don't even know it, or won't tell you.

I'm just looking out for you. I've seen cross nursing situations which were OK, and some that didn't end so well. Just KNOW the person you are dealing with.

Blessings.

 

As a mother that cannot breastfeed, I wouldn't mind a wetnurse. If my daughter had the opportunity to be given milk better suited to her needs, I'd jump at the chance. And because I know that a wetnurse wouldn't be making her sick, I'd probably not be too upset about her getting sick. But anyway, there's no one in my area WILLING to wetnurse, so we're stuck on formula...

 

People cross nurse??

Unless you live in a 3rd world country, that's plain creepy and alittle like that movie Hand that Rocks the Cradle.

 

Not really...If both women are okay with the situation, I don't see how it would be a problem...

And if a woman has to work and can't seem to pump her milk comfortably, if she has a friend willing to nurse her child as well as her own, I don't see where the harm would be. Except maybe in the jealousy that seems to easily manifest itself in the female psyche.

I don't understand why that would be acceptable in a third world country, but not here. What makes it more acceptable there? And why can't it be acceptable here?

 

I've done it. My SIL and I both had our first two babies within weeks of each other. It was great! We could go to the doctors, go shopping, even manage a "date night" with our dp's. We even lived in the same house, so we always had a babysitter and never had to pump or use formula and our babies were always happy getting nursed. We had a good, close relationship with each other and trusted each other with our babies.
My best girlfriend and I had babies a few weeks apart as well, my third her first. She got very, very sick, and was advised not to nurse while she was on some medication. (don't know what it was) but her baby was rejecting the bottle and formula, so on top of being deathly ill, she had a screaming, hungry baby on her hands. I offered to nurse her for her until she was feeling better and off the meds, and she accepted gratefully. I nursed her baby as well as mine for about 2 weeks while she pumped and dumped.
Would I do it with someone I barely knew? No way!

 

what does "wet nurse" mean?

 

i have actually never heard of this, but it sounds really neat if you're doing it with someone you trust. At first I had kind of an odd reaction, but as I read your posts, I started to think, "how would this be much different than someone else giving a baby a bottle besides the mother?" That is if they're clean and all.

 

I've nursed a friend's baby for her when she was about 2 weeks old becuase my friend was falling apart (she had PPD) and I was a fairly new mom too and the only way I knew to help her was to feed her baby so she wouldn't be hungry and cry. It gave my friend an hour to relax without having to worry about nursing (which she was having a lot of trouble with) and after she calmed down she called a doc and an LC and is still nursing her (now 2yo)! It was all I knew how to do and it really helped my friend and her daughter. It wasn't weird at all. I was just grateful to help.

 

Wet nurses have been around for centuries. And they still exist... not just in third world countries, either.

Kayte, I think it's wonderful that your friend was able to see past the boundaries we've set on ourselves to allow her baby to be comforted by you. I can see the problems that MaggieSugar suggested & would be worried about that kind of thing, but if you know the family really well I think it's a wonderful idea!
love,
mom

 

I dont think its a good idea. Especially with blood borne viruses. Whats wrong with washing your hand and sticking your finger in the kids mouth or even a bottle?

I'm sorry, but i think its weird and creepy. and a little gross

 

bottles can cause severe nipple confusion and comprimise everything.
If the baby is hungry, and mom definately needs to rest, as smiling mama's friend did, then that's a lot better than sticking a bottle in the babys mouth. And a finger will not help a hungry baby.

 

A finger may not feed a hungry baby, but neither will a non lactating breast, and she said the whole point was to pacify the kid, in which case, why not use a pacifier?

Besides, at 5 moths, the little bub is pretty much ready for the bottle anyway.

I just think that a mama and a baby share something special together which should not be shared with another woman

 

I think it's a little creepy, myself. I mean, a wet nurse, I can understand, especially if the mother cannot breastfeed. But a strange baby suckeling on my breast otherwise? Just plain wrong, to me.

 

What does that mean? babies don't NEED bottles. They need food, from a breast if possible OR a bottle. There is no rule that babies should have bottles. My first child had one sometimes due to nursing difficulties when he was very small, but he nursed until he was 2 (and still does sometimes), with no bottles. My second child will probably NEVER have a bottle.

 

well I mean its a personal choice, but the baby doesnt really NEED breastmilk as such past 6 /7 months. Sure they need food, but breast milk at that point is no more beneficial than other food.

I wasnt saying that there is some hard and fast deadline about moving a baby from breast to bottle. I was just saying, that the kid would do fine with a bottle at that age. He doesnt NEED breast milk necessarily, and if you contend that he does, than he could always have it from a bottle rather than trying in vain to get milk from another womans breast who isnt even lactating.

Personally I consider it part of learning. you know gradual stages, breast, bottle, tippie cup, big kids cup. And how much more chance does th mama have of getting a freind or rellie to feed the baby with a bottle, rather than asking them to pop their tit out?

 

Um, yes it is...