20/20 on breastfeeding

I totally agree, but you don't know WHY someone isn't breastfeeding (like for instance someone you see at a grocery store). That's more what I meant. Just that its frustrating to hear my friend make judgements of people she doesn't know.

 

oh yeah, i can't make a judgment like that without knowing the story.

i'm going to ASSume that these spots were aimed at woman who made the concious decision NOT to breastfeed without trying at all. i'm going to find the ads to see if it's more clear...

 

It was this reason that I was "afraid" of feeding Leane in public. I would duck into bathrooms to feed her formula so I wouldn't be judged and mainly, because I felt so rotten that I couldn't feed my baby the way I was intended to. I felt so ashamed and embarassed. I got, and still get, quite a few snotty looks, which partaily(sp?) shocked me, since I always saw lots of formula being bought when I worked at Superstore.
My whole pregnancy, I was actually looking foward to seeing people look at me funny for breastfeeding, smiling at them and knowing that I was doing the best thing for my baby, but now that I'm on the other side of the fence, I feel bad when people see me. Like a hypocrite, completely. And commercials like these just make it worse to go out in public by making it seem like we're doing some horrible thing to our babies.
Formula, IMO, just like hippyfreek said, should ONLY be made avaliable by perscription and only if necessary. That would stop a lot of this judgemental behavior and take the weight off the shoulders of the moms who DO have to formula feed, dispite their best attempts at it.
As I stated in my OP, my friend also had a woman come up to her at the grocery store the other day and tell her flat out that she was a bad mother when in fact, she never had a drop of milk.

yes, these ads are directed at women who are making the choice not to breastfeed. The whole point in my OP was saying that the approach they're taking is awful and how they're saying that formula is awful and trying to guilt moms into breastfeeding. It makes the mom who had to do formula, against everything that she wanted, feel really bad about herself.

 

Oh, I understood that you weren't trying to make me feel bad, no worries
Now that Maggiesugar has helped my diagnose my problem, I have been able to prepare for it next time around. I have been doing lots of research about it, and not only that, but the next time around, I will be done university to be an RN and will also be taking specialization courses in lactation consulting. SO I'll be a LOT more educated than this time, for sure. The only positive thing that has come out of it, is that it's helped me find something that I'm passionate about finding answers to and helping other moms with.

 

kirsten, the first week of August is World Breastfeeding Week. EVERY year, the antibreastfeeding forces attempt a Coup. (They were early this year......good strategy on thier part.....sigh) This year, it is "give um a taste of thier own medicine." In fact, what the Big Formula Conglomerates are doing is trying to attack breastfeeding by making PRObreastfeeding forces look like NUTS. This "Publc Service Announcement" is not much more than a "antibreastfeeding announcement" I know for a fact LLL was against it.

The big forumula conglomerates try every year, but this year, they are really on to something they knew would work. These "Public Service Announcements" were NOT from Lactation Consultants, LLL or anywhere else probreastfeeding. They were INTENDED to make breastfeeding look like it is only for weirdos and judegement freaks. Sadly, unlike the past, where their attempts to discredit breastfeeding with antibreastfeeding "information" was easily proven wrong and outdated (hey, who remembers "You have DIOXIN IN YOUR BREASTMILK....formula is safer for all" campaign, or the "Domperidone (a drug which can raise milk levels in many womyn) is POISON" campaign?) this campain did exactly what they wanted.

Don't freak about it, really, these PSAs were not endorsed by people who really know about or actually deal with breastfeeding. NOW, if we can only get the rest of the Western Hemisphere to realize this. I haven't seen the announcements myself,(but read the copy a few other LC sent me) but, if the strongly negative response by ALL members of my LLL group, and every client I have had in the past 2 months says anything, it was not well recieved by many.

20/20 has a long history of being antibreastfeeding (almost as bad as Oprah and Baba Walters) so I am not surprised. They did a story on LLL years ago, I was there when they came, and I SAW the interview with the Executive Director on a closed circut TV at LLL HQ........which they then cut to pieces to suit their needs, horrible, I saw what really was said by the ED and what 20/20 CHOSE to put on TV, there was a HUGE difference. I don't trust this show at all, in ANY arena of parenting. They were one of the biggest supporters of Ferber when his "groundbreaking book" came out, talking it up as the "Unfailable way to get your baby to sleep." Poop on 20.20........

There has to be a happy medium, with NO holds barred, but which is understanding and kind.

 

Here, look at this from the article:

Just WHO is going along with this "campaign....." well, the "baby formula industry." ILCA, and the IBLCE was not part of the campaign, AFIAK.

This did exactly what the formula industry wanted, it gave them "points" with many pro breastfeeding advocates, and made real probreastfeeding advocates look like nuts. Damn, that Industry is EVIL. Sneaky, too.

I have been telling my clients who need to supplement about Baby''s Own Organic. It is one of the only companies which does not do business in this fashion.

 

WOW, i never thought of it that way, I just too it for face value. Now that you write that, i remember hearing that on the show when I was watching it!
Thanks for opening that up for me.
I knew that LLL or anything wasn't involved, though....I thought that it was a little fishy that it was a "government campaign"....

 

I don't think that we should ever judge a mother for these types of issues. We all have to make choices for our children, and other's choices may not be the same as our own. As mothers, we should support each other, even if it means choosing not to breastfeed you baby, choosing not to naturally birth your baby, choosing not to co-sleep, etc. Sometimes I think that we are so overly judgemental when things are not done what is seen as the natural way. But the truth is that these things may not feel natural to some mothers, like they do to others. I know that I have a very sore spot when it comes to natural childbirth because of how much of a failure I felt like. My son is 3 years old, and honestly, I want him to sleep in his own bed because I can't sleep with him (without him constantly moving, getting kicked in the head, etc.). But, I often feel that if I express my true feelings, such as say that co-sleeping is no longer working for us, I will have such a weight of judgement on me that it will make me feel like an awful mother. I feel blessed that I was able to nurse my baby so easily, and that I loved every moment of rocking him to sleep in my arms for 2 years. But, I can understand why it is not for everyone...and it doesn't make them bad people.

 

I'm sorry if I offended you, jgirl
I know what you mean about being judged, like I said above, I hear bad things about myself all the time.
But when it comes to breastfeeding, which is so much better than formula, I still think that it's 'wrong' for a mom to just choose the latter and have their baby loose out on all the imortant things that it could be getting in exchange for convinience.

 

In my experiences with BFing, I got more negativity about it from people who formula fed their children, or were formula fed. Its a weird thing,the people I meet who were not breastfed have this bizaare jealousy issue about it, and they choose not to BF. They were obessed with when I was going to wean her....
When I was in the hospital I got this diaper bag filled with cans of formula, and ready made formula. Then I kept getting free checks in the mail for MONTHS for more formula....It reeks too. I gave it to the neighbor next door.
I personally think that most(NOT ALL) people who dont BF really do not want to, and are truly miseducated about it.
Its time for this society to wake up. If you had a choice to eat lush fresh organic vegetables, or imitation, colored, and processed vegetables that can sit on a shelf for a decade...What would you choose?

When I head back to visit my family in North Africa, women there are able to breastfeed. To be honest I have never seen formula in the stores, or women giving it to their children.


Maggie, do you know if having a healthy goat is a good alternative to
formula???


Also I had overactive let down very badly. I started breastfeeding on my back, which prooved to slow the rush, and was quite comfortable!

 

Tell me about it. Breastfeeding moms tend to get a LOT of hard times from those who simply CHOOSE not to do it. I had a LLL meeting yesterday (a self selected group, of course, but a good number of these womyn were my former and present clients and many of them had a hell of a hard time nursing) and we were talking about family and freind pressure, involving nursing "in public" (say, in your sister in law's living room) "when are you going to wean that baby?" questions, "why don't you get that baby on a bottle so I can baby sit?" crap from gramma. One mama, who had nothing but hell the first month or more of nursing her first two children, for different reasons (one wouldn't latch and was losing weight, and the second baby had a nasty tongue tie, that of course, the hosptial, in it's infiniate wisdom missed) had her own sister, who tried "really hard" for TWO WHOLE days to breastfeed and "just isn't one of those hippy breastfeeding types." according to her own assesment, (while supplementing 8 times a day.....with a baby who had NO problems, and neither did she) told her, "Why go to all that trouble? (Assuming actually taking care of her baby's need to have his frenulum snipped so he could EAT was "trouble.") There's this stuff at the store called formula."

Not to mention the myriad "Your husband/boyfriend won't bond with the baby if he can't give the baby a bottle." (We know this is absolutely contrary to the truth) and also being asked to leave resturants, malls, stores, people's homes or at least "Can't you do that in the bathroom. It may be natural, but so is sex and havng a bowel moverment, and you don't see people doing that in the mall."

I've been working with BF moms for more than 18 years. The "don't want tos" outweigh the real actual "cannots" about 100 to 1. Yes, of course, there are situations where there are horrible problems, which need either services and knowlege that isn't available everywhere to these mothers, but, I know for SURE the majority of babies who are NOT nursed are CHOSEN to not be fed by breast. If a mom "chooses" to not use a car seat, or "chooses" to leave a baby home alone, or "chooses" to smoke tobacco in front of an infant, we can "judge" (most of the time not knowing that maybe that mama's dh took the carseat in his car by accident and mom had to go out, with no other way, or that that mom simply didn't know cigarrettes weren't good for babies to be around (hey, people STILL think human milk isn't neccesary, I have worked with people who really claim not to know about second hand smoke) or other issues. But, the fact that MOST babies who are not nursed were never even attemtped to be nursed or the moms were what we calll "Yeah, but..." moms. (She is given known to work solutions, BEFORE it is too late, or before her child is even born, and you get "Yeah, but, I have a toddler...." SO?(This is actually an excuse not to breastfeed I hear at least once a month. Why call me as an LC, if every single solution is going to be met with a "Yeah, but, I can't...." when many of these solutions are really quite simple, hmmm, try NOT timing the interval between feeds. "Yeah, but, I need to clean my house." WTF? Yes, I hear this stuff ALL the time.) "Yeah, but, I have to get her used to a bottle, what if I die? How will the baby eat?" Really! I've heard this.......more than once. "Yeah, but, I can't cup feed, the doctor said the baby would choke." ect. (Of course, the doctor has never cup fed a baby in his life and there are no higher risks of choking with proper cup feeding than with proper bottle feeding.)

The fact that a LOW estimate is that THIRTY TO FOURTY PERCENT of mothers in the US and Canada don't even TRY to breastfeed. Those are disgustingly huge numbers and there is no reason for them. EVERY MOTHER, unless she has active, high viral load AIDS, has no breasts, or is on Chemotherapy really should attempt. SHe owes the life SHE decided to bring into the world at least an attmept, with the proper prepartion. And, I even hate the word "Try" I'd rather hear "I am going to breastfeed." I mean, really, now many womyn say, at thier wedding showers, "Well, we're going to try to have regular sex, but if it doesn't work out, as it often doesn't for so many people........." fill in the rest......... I think for every 20 sex scenes in movies, we could see ONE real breastfeeding scene, we'd have better breastfeeding numbers, just from the "exposure" alone. The closest you see in any form of media is a man accidentally taking a sip of "breastmilk" from a bottle in the frige, being told what it is and spewing it out all over,(to great laughter and "ew, gross" from the audience) NOT what I had in mind for normal exposure for young men and womyn to see how babies are SUPPOSED to eat. Really, WHEN is the last time you saw a baby being obviously breastfed on TV, a magazine (not Baby Talk or Mothering) or a movie?

I think that a 40% rate of mothers who don't even care enough to start breastfeeding is enough to make anyone crazy. There is simply no reason for those numbers.

The fact is we still live in a bottle centriic society. Breastfeeding moms are NOT the norm (despite the 60% to 70% "attempt" rate. many babies leave the hospital not breastfeding and only about SEVENTEEN PERCENT of infants are allowed by their families to make it to the recommended 12 months of nursing that the AAP strongly recommends) and that breastfeeding mothers face many hurdles that many don't have any defenses against.

If it were ONLY the babies and or moms who had serious milk supply or unsolvable breastfeeding problems bottle feeding, not only would we see MUCH FEWER bottles in public,(thus, it would not be considered "the norm" but, the exception) we would also have more empathy and sympathy for the babies and mother who may well have to resort to alternatives to breastfeeding.

Our societies lack of empathy for actual breastfeeding is what makes it really harder when a mother needs to use a bottle or formula for health reasons. If breastfeeding mothers were MORE visible and more understood, and people really knew how it works and WHY, then when it doesn't work out, these mothers, who actually could not breastfeed, would be taken in with open arms, not rejected, often by some of the same people who go "ew, gross" at the idea of a baby nursing past 4 months or nursing "in public."

Nuff said. I'm exhausted.

 

You know, the only person I've experianced any negativity from, in regards to my plans to breastfeed and cloth diaper, is another new mom!

My bestfriends younger sister actually LAUGHED when I told her I was going to be doing both. Said "Good luck... hahahahha" and then rolled her eyes. I was very upset by this behaviour, because she has always listened to what I had to say before and was never dismissive.

I do think her reaction comes from a place of insecurity about her not doing both those things. I believe she tried BFing for a couple days, and didn't even consider using cloth diapers... both were "too much work".

I love her like a little sister, but this has put a wedge in our relationship. We haven't really talked since, and I don't really feel the need to talk to her.

 

I notice this, too.
It ridiculous!
In fact, I was watch tv the other day and on the Toronto news, they were doing a story on this breastmilk bar a woman had set up for mothers to try beastmilk from other moms, and they were doing the whole report in a manner of, "this is discusting, beastmilk is gross, ect"

 

When people here in the US think of babies, they think of bottles. When you go to the store and get your child a baby doll it comes with a bottle. Baby blankets are decorated with bottles.Even babyshower party favors are with bottles. It setting people up to not breastfeed. Its ingrained in us from a very young age that we should bottle feed.

 

i noticed this at the store the other day, too, when I was buying Leane a new daiper bag....almost everything in the gift section had something to do with bottles!
I remember being given bottles when I was expecting Leane and all I could think of was, "yesh, do people just assume I'm going to use forumla?"

 

I've gotten some bottles given to me even though people know i plan to breastfeed. I've also been given a breast pump.... bottles from a cousin, the breastpump from his mother (my aunt).

Do people know you are going to be breastfeeding? I don't think they are being malicious or pushing you to bottlefeed. Maybe they are just trying to be helpful?

 

I made sure to tell everyone my intentions. The only people I didn't mind who gave me bottles were this old couple in California who I don't really talk to often. The rest of the people, I'd say, "thanks, but I'm planning to breastfeed." They would shrug their shoulders and say, "you'll see."