20/20 on breastfeeding

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=2188066&page=1

I was watching 20/20 tonight and saw this on tv ^^^
OK, I am 100% ALL for breastfeeding, without a doubt 100%, but this made me feel like absolute shit.
They talk about how you wouldn't harm your baby while you're pregnant, so why do it afterwards by not nursing.
They also said on the show that not only are they promoting bfing, but telling mom's that formula is bad for babies.
Now, I'll say again, I am 100% for the boob, but they neglect to take into the account that there are certain moms who can't get it to work, like I did...I had horrible infections, my nipples felt like constant ice, they were always bleeding and I couldn't figure out why Leane was always so fussy until Maggie here helped me find the answer I needed (over active let-down)...but that was after talking to 2 LC's, LLL, doctors, my OB....basically everyone I could talk to and being told to just give it up.
And then I think about one of my bestfriends, who's milk just never came. After losing the time she should have been using to recover from birth, she was pumping all the time and not one drop. Ever. She tried so hard for 3 weeks to pump. And the other day a lady approached her at the store while she was giving her son some formula and said, "oh, you bottle your breastmilk?" When she said no, this lady said that she was an awful mother.
Or that one mom out there who is so stressed about the whole thing that she becomes a danger to her and her baby?
Aside from this, I am also astounded about the issues that working bfing mom's face. The goverenment has regulated a small amount of time for a woman to pump while at work, it was something like 15 minutes. I don't know too many women who would be able to get to the room, get set up, pump and store the milk and get back to work in 15 minutes. And how many companies actually follow these rules is another thing.
The amount of maternity leave is only 12 weeks, by the time bfing is established, it's time to go back to work.
And not only this, but our society has come to portray bfing as something that should be hidden away and not seen in public, yet it's one of the most natural things that we do. How are they trying to get more women to bf by showing commercials about pregnant women riding bulls and spinning on logs, but yet not showing anything to do with actually BREASTFEEDING! Now THAT would be more effective advertising.
I do say cudos to the government (first time I'm every going to say that, probably the last) for promoting bfing, BUT, they should have really taken into account how big of an issue this really is rather than thinking that it's as simple as a mother being able to decide wether or not to stick a boob or bottle in their babies mouths and be done with it.
I felt sick to my stomach watching that show tonight. It seemed like it was rubbing salt in raw wounds, and I can only imagine what it has made the other women who were stuck in my position feel like.
Yeah, I'm 100% boob, but when it just DOESN'T happen, it DOESN'T! I do not condone women who just go to the store and buy formula, when they are prefectly capable of bfing, just for convinience. I AM, however, happy it is there for the ones who just couldn't make it work.
Ugh, rant over. I feel like just bawling right now. I hate this!!!!!!

 

I totally feel it too. When I go to the WIC office or see one of those ads on television, I get the message that by formula feeding my daughter, I'm HARMING her. That formula is BAD.

And I know that formula is not nearly as good as breast milk, but in stressing the harm in formula rather than the goodness of breast milk, all it does is make me feel like total crap.

If the government wanted to do anything constructive towards breast feeding, they would make formula only available by prescription and set up more IBCLC programs in hospitals, making sure that all doctors were educated in lactation concerns and that pediatricians carried the WHO breast-fed growth charts.

But using advertising to tell me I'm a horrible mother for something outside of my control only hurts me and makes my mothering decision all the harder.

 

I don't think that these ads are pointed towards you mamas you CAN'T breastfeed. So just don't take it to personally. These ads are ponted towards Mamas that don't try to breastfeed. The ones that chose from beginning not to nurse their babies. I think it's a lot better to advertize for nursing this way, then not to do it at all, or even worse, having hospitals and health care stuff promote formula.


Ads are always superficial, so you can't really go in depth and see the backgrounds about why people don't breastfeed. But it's probably really the minority, that CAN'T breastfeed, and the majority, that does it by CHOICE has to be adressed somehow. And for them, the ad is totally applicable.

Don't feel like you are bad Mamas. You did everything possible, and it didn't work out. And don't let yourselves be made down from these ads, THEY ARE NOT MEANT FOR YOU!!!

 

I totally understand. I threw away my copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding because every time I tried to read it, it made me cry. We can be supportive of breastfeeding without knocking anyone down in the process.

By the same token, I do think it's important that the public be made aware that there are risks with giving a baby formula, that it really isn't just as good, like most people believe it is. I'm not saying that we should be down on women giving their babies formula, just that we should educate people about it better.



I think the Lucy Lawless ads in NewZealand were the best ever!! Go Xena!



edited because I had to add.... of course the 20/20 would show it from a warped perspective, it's network tv and they make lots and lots of money from the formula companies. Of course they would make you feel bad about not breastfeeding, that's their angle. I want to see the ads themselves, not a bunch of people complaining about nipple nazis (a term that makes me cringe every time I hear it or read it anywhere, what could be more insensitive than that?).

 

Look at all the people in the world who weren't breastfed. For years people just didn't do it... doctors actually said that formula was better for the babies. All those people are just fine!

 

there are not alot of women that can absolutley not breastfeed. most women who say they can't, tried for two days and said they wern't producing enough. i'm sorry for the one's who tried and actually can't, that must really suck

i think these ads are aimed towards the women who never gave breastfeeding a second thought.

compared to breastmilk, formula is harmful. that's a simple fact.

 

that's just like saying....look at all the people who had to cio, who got spanked and yelled at, they're fine....wrong.

 

i think i get what you mean here, but that is a harsh way to put it for us moms who had to do it that way. saying it's harmful makes us feel like we're doing something absolutly horrible to our babies when infact, we're only doing what we can so they can survive. I tried for 2 months, maybe more, i kind of lost track of time for a while, but I know it was at least 2 months. Leane only slept from exhaustion and that was it. She wouldn't eat because it would force into her belly and was dehydrated. I felt completely suicidal from the stress and had constant mastitis, so bad I couldn't get out of bed.

 

you see... i don't think they are the same at all. My mother wasn't breastfed, as the doctors here actually DISCOURAGED women from breastfeeding around the time she was born. So, on the DOCTOR'S ADVICE my Grandmother didn't breastfeed her children... it wasn't selfish of her, it wasn't because she didn't have enough milk.. the doctor told her formula was better for her children. It was the 1950's... people still thought DDT and Themeldahide (sp) were good ideas!

My Mother, as well as all my Uncles and Aunts are perfectly healthy. They don't have 3 arms, or a compromised immune system. They also had unsafe toys with sharp edges and slept in cribs that you would be thrown in jail for child indangerment if you tried you put your kid in now.

Basically, times change. My Grandmother did what she thought was best. And while, yes, breastmilk is best for the child, I don't think that if you simply CAN'T breastfeed that you are going to go into the "Bad Mommy Hall of Fame" or that your child is going to be irreversibly harmed... they might not be AS perfectly healthy, but they aren't going to shrivel up a die from it! They aren't going to have years of councelling because you didn't breastfeed as they would if you beat them.

 

actually, that's not the same at all. Those people have a lot of emotional issues to deal with now. Although they recieve lots of bonding and thousands of other health benifits, they kids still turn out normal. I was half forumla fed, dh was strickly formula fed, as were my dad, 2 of my uncles and my BIL. They have all led healthy, productive normal lives. YES, breast milk is BEST, but feeding a baby formula is NOT like yelling at your kids, letting them cry it out, or hitting them! I greatly resent that. That may be the only option for some moms, would you prefer they died because the couldn't be fed?

 

I can really see both sides of this. Yes, it would be really hard to watch that and hear that kind of message being sent if you can't breastfeed, but what about the moms who watch the show who are pregnant who weren't even going to try? Maybe that show will make them reconsider? I think formula is bad. Soy is extremely dangerous, expecially for babies, and cows milk is for, well, baby cows.

And before you all flame me I want to tell you that the first SIX MONTHS of my first baby's life I had cracked nipples, mastitis 3 times (!!!) and had to express milk out of one breast and feed it to him in a bottle because my nipple was so cracked. It sucked. EVECYONE told me to just give up, but I didn't. I'm not saying that EVERYONE CAN breastfeed, but I wanted you to know that I have had my share of problems and so I know what it is like.

 

Hearing you say that, smiling mama, I still feel like a failure because I didn't keep trying. (I'm not trying to flame you or anything, here, don't worry ) But at the same time, I can't let myself feel like that because, beyond infections, cracked and bloody nipples, compression problems, I still couldn't figure out why Leane wasn't gaining properly, she was dehydrated and yet I was so engorged. No one would help. No one. And I mean, no one. Everyone, including the LCs told me to give it up with no diagnosis. LLL tried to help but shrugged when they saw how complicated everything seemed, and just told me, "well, you should just keep trying." I was doing that, it wasn't working!!! As I stated before, I felt suicidal and the lack of sleep for that long had made me insane...I felt like I needed to be committed to an mental institution, no lie.
I know cows milk is dangerous for babies that young, but again, what's the alternative? Death.

 

I am aware that it's geared towards moms who think that formula is the best and that's it, but it still hurts hearing them refer to the only alternative as harmful, when that's all some of us can do.
Instead of advertising like this, they should make breastfeeding more of a socially acceptable thing rather than try to guilt people into it. They should make it easier for working moms to continue bfing for how many years as they want by providing pumping time at work. Breastfeeding education should be more widely taught...all most new moms hear is, "breastmilk is best." That isn't TEACHING anything. We are taught so many things about "life" yet one of the most important things is forgotten. Before I had Leane, I never knew a single thing about it. Hell, I thought that the baby just sucked on the nipple and not the areola. Nothing. Even through out the pregnancy, Finding beastfeeding education classes was hell.
Guilt is really not the way to go.

 

you are completely right kristin. there needs to be more awareness, more education. more breastfeeding seen by young women, young children need to see it, all who nurse need to do it in public so that other's may learn.

just one thing though, formula is not the only other alternative. another mother's milk would be better then formula

 

But finding another woman with a child the same age, enough supply, and the willingness to pump for you that you get along with and know to be disease free isn't easy. I'm trying right now, but it's just soooo difficult.

 

^^^what holly said. There is one woman I know who actually produced milk properly, and she is bottling all her milk for her son because of the pain. But her son is much much younger than Leane. Then there's my one friend who produced none at all. Getting someone do do that for you is hard as hell, especially when most moms around here choose formula anyway.

 

i was just saying that formula is not the "only" alternative, as previously stated

 

oh, yeah, k ^^^
it's just hard to find, that's all

 

Kirstyn - I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. Thats the last thing I intended, honestly. I was just trying to mention the problems I had so that you wouldn't feel like "well, its easy for some people" ya know? I have a friend who says its "selfish" for people not to breastfeed, but her baby latched on within minutes of birth, and they had NO problems, no cracked nipples, no sore nipples, just basically smooth sailing. Its frustrating when she makes comments because she has no idea what its like to struggle. I didn't want you to feel frustrated by my comments, so I wanted you to know that I, too had struggles.

Also, remember that if/when you have another baby, you'll know what to epect and you'll know how to get help. WHen I had ds2, he was 3 weeks early and had a little trouble nursing because he was very sleepy. The day I left the hospital he wouldn't nurse at home, so that evening I called an LC and I pumped and fingerfed him and then (once he was full and therefore not AS sleepy) he nursed fine. But with my first I didn't know where to get help or when to ask. I have some oversupply issues (STILL!!!) and foremilk/hindmilk imbalence (not as much now), but he's growing great and is very happy, therefore I am relaxd, which is totally different than with my first baby, when I was freaking out and stressed about nursing.

So don't worry, Leane has a mommy who loves her and you will be able to nurse your next baby!

 

IMO, there is a difference between "choosing" not to breastfeed and not being able to breastfeed.

simply "choosing" not to breastfeed is selfish IMO.