I've always been a very able woman. I have always done things by myself and for myself. I change my own flat tires. I move my own furniture. I played hockey in a boy's league until I was 16 and injuries made me stop. I helped with harvest, I fixed tractors... I haul grain. I've always been as strong and capable physically as most men... never used the "but I am a girl" excuse to get out of doing heavy lifting. Now that I am in my 35 week of pregnancy, I feel completely useless. I am on maternaty leave from my job, as I just can't do it anymore. We are moving at the end of the month, and I won't be able to even help with the light stuff! My family left me at home alone this weekend, as my sister is playing ball 4 hours away, and i can't even sit for that long! Basically, I feel like a hothouse flower. For the first time in my life I feel weak, and ineffectual and completely powerless. I can't even put socks on my feet without a major struggle. I went to get groceries the other day, and had 2 men come over to help me load them into my car! I know they were trying to be nice, but it just made me feel worse! Did anyone else feel this way during the very end of their pregnancy? Maybe its just me? I hate being this hormonal!!! I do know its 90% hormones that are making me feel this way... and i know I should just put my feet up and relax... but I am not good at sitting still!
I do realize that it seems like all I do is complain. Thats really not the case. I come here and read all about how WONDERFUL and AMAZING pregnancy is. How I should cherish it. And while I know for a lot of people it really is wonderful, and I do agree that is amazing... I also know there are people out there who pregnancy doesn't really agree with. I just don't want other expectant people to feel like they are horrible because sunshine doesn't radiate from their who-who's the entire time they are pregnant! I know I sometimes question myself because of that exact same thing. Pregnancy is a hormonal enough time without the added stress of feeling like you HAVE TO BE HAPPY all the time or you are a bad parent! (~not that I am judging or tearing those of you who were happy throughout their pregnancy... just want others to know that there are other not-so-happy pregant people out there and that they aren't freaks~)
*hands the nice lady a cup of tea and pats her on the head* How condescending...I'm just kidding! ~~protects face~~ It must be frustrating by the sounds of it. Given the processes going on in your body, I think you're perfectly entitled to let others help you more and rest for once without feeling guilty or frustrated. If you're not good at sitting still, I'd get the person who co-created this bodily upheaval to give you a foot massage. I bet you'd be planted to your seat then with no fidgeting! Considering the work you're doing that he can't help with, it's the least he can do.
i totally understand! i had no problem working my butt off with my first two pregnancies (with the first, i detailed cars until week 34, and with the second i ended up moving all the furniture out of the "storage" room to create some semblance of a nursery, simply because noone else would help), but while i was pregnant with #3 i felt like a friggin whale, i had my smallest-ever weight gain, yet i couldn't put on my own shoes without working up a sweat and having contractions! It totally sucked, and i do NOT miss those days at all! Yeah, pregnancy is wonderful, but not every pregnancy, and not every moment for sure That is beautifully said, by the way!
Don't worry - not EVERYONE loves pregnancy. My first one was fine, I was HUGE but I could tolerate it, but my second one was like hell. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand, I could lay, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't tie my shoes, etc. I just peed. Every day, all day, I peed. That was my only accomplishment - peeing. It'll be over soon enough and then you'll have a baby and even though you'll still be hormonal, you'll be able to look at your baby everyday and know WHY! And it will feel more worth it. Also - READ!!! After your baby is born you won't have much time to read, so I always tell first time moms to read while pregnant because they will miss it. I can't remember the last time I finished a whole book. sigh.
Since this "uselessness" has set in, I have read 6 books, knit half a blanket, made a faux stained glass window, darned 5 pairs of socks and started sewing diapers (just started this today.. sewed a prototype, and am now cutting them all out and pinning together. So... all that in about a week... plus, I worked 2 days and babysat twins for 4 hours wednesday, thrusday and friday. I also started packing up clothes that don't fit, just to start getting ready for the move (i pack a box while it sits on my bed, and then I get my sister to come in and move it to the garage!) So, maybe my idea of useless isn't exactly useless. lol. I watch Days of Our Lives.... hahah... its fun to watch in an "omg, i am a sterotype" sort of way. Oh.. and I pee about every half hour... just a dribble, but it feels like I am going to piss my pants in a major way! Thanks you for the support Ladies! I do feel better knowing I am not the only one who has felt useless at this stage.
oh hun dont be too hard on yourself. you are very pregnant and probly very big by now. So it is natural for you to be unable to do certain physical things. You shouldnt feel useless your carrying a child and keeping it nurtured and safe and thats about the only thing you should be doing. I felt the same way from 7 months until aiden was born i felt useles I couldnt put my shoes on (so i bought sandles) i couldnt lift a damn thing, i couldnt even walk without stopping due to so much pain. But after aiden was i had to pee every 10 minutes and i couldnt even sleep comfortably. but after aiden was born i relized that i am responsible for this baby i have to make sure everything is safe and he is happy and make sure he was fed and clean and was playing. So after awhile the uslessnes feeling went away. Oh and if you are having trouble sleeping what i did throughout my pregnancy was i piled a bunch of pillows against the bed and slept sitting up i did that for six months after aiden was born (he always slept on my chest he refused to be away from me for one second). good luck and much love to you.
since you've been so busy and strong in the past, take this as a much deserving break. you are carring a human being inside of you. that is no meanial task my friend. your heart is working hard constantly, even at rest. your brain is working hard trying to trudge though all the hormones. soon, you will taking care of someone constantly, just relax and soak in the end of pregnancy. let people do things for you, if you let go, you and the people that help with both feel good
I can sympathize. I will be 34 weeks tomorrow and the hardest thing for me is just having no energy, and the fact that one of the hardest things to do is bend over to pick something up, which I have to do constantly with a 2 year old. This stage of pregnancy is kind of bitter sweet because the baby is so close to being here but you're so miserable at the same time. The thing that makes it all worth it for me is when I can feel her move. I know how frustrating it can be to not be able to do something so simple, but just enjoy the time that you have right now to relax, because for the next 18+ years you will be anything BUT useless! lol
All the other mamas here are sooo right. You don't have much time left, and as hard as it can be, try to just take a breather and relax I remember living at my mom's place when I was high pregnant last summer and my omi was down to help us all out. My mom was constantly phoning up asking if I was helping with the house chores, etc, but when I tried to help, my omi would tell me to go sit down. Aside from getting an earful from my mom when she got home from work, I felt like crap when I was sitting there even though there were so many other things that I wanted to be doing. Once she came, I was glad I got the little bit of rest that I did, as the next few months felt awful.
Your body and mind are GESTATING an other HUMAN BEING. That is strength as well as POWER. Honey, no one else can do this but you, gestate this baby. You are useful, you are doing just what you need to do, to take care of your baby, now. You really can use the break before the baby comes. After, well, you have a LOT to do. A LOT. Rest when you can, now. You'll be so glad you did later. One of the reasons you slow down during the end (and beginning) of pregnancy, is that it is not only good for the baby for you to rest, but good for you, too. You do NOT NEED to be lifting furniture right now. By the time I was pregnant with my fouth, I was grateful to put my feet up and just let everything happen around me, I had been doing nothing but caregiving (and working ect) for the previous 13 or so years. The body knows what it needs. (I may have needed that pregnancy at that point, who knows?) Take it easy and try to chill. Your body IS working and it is working hard. Be confident in that your body knows what it needs to do to prepare you for labor and beyond, and part of that preparation is the slowing down. Blessings.
