Are men really ever too tired--honestly!!!

Are men ever to tired for sex? I guess that sounds stupid. But it's a real question. My man and I have always had a good sex life, and recently I've found out that there have been nights that instead of coming to bed and having sex with me, that he has "taken care" of things himself, then comes to bed. The excuse was--while I was in TEARS-this....that what would have taken a long time with me, took him less than 5 minutes himself. He was tired, don't take it personally. He loves me and does wnat me, but he was just not into the sex because he was tired. I don't know if I should keep taking it as just some lame ass excuse not to have sex, or what. I don't know of any other people that have complained about something like this. It's rather personal too, so I guess it's not like someone would openly talk about it. But I'm sitting here dwelling on it, cuz I feel like my hubby doesn't want me. And that hurts like hell. I feel like we should maybe talk about it, but I don't want to come down on him like I'm being some sex Nazi or anything.

 

If he was too tired, why isn't he just asking for a blow job? I'd rather be involved in pure giving than not at all. Is there such thing as too tired to be blown? I don't think so.

 

Men can be too tired, sure. But this situation seems a little odd. I mean, too tired would mean hitting the bed and passing out, not masturbating and then going to bed.

 

UMMMM.....if he wants at some points to just do his own thing then that is not a call for you to be so out of sorts over.

Instead look forward to an evening, morning, afternoon....whatever, where he is not so tired.

If I were to approach my partner when I know he is dead on his feet I think it may be totally reasonable that it is not going to happen.....just as if he approached me in that state.

Perhaps if it upsets you to know he just takes care of his own business sometimes means you should not ask him if he did.

 

stop crying and kick him in the nuts.

 

My boyfriend works an overnight 12 hour shift. He is often too tired or we miss each other because I'm going to bed when he is waking up. I don't know if he takes care of himself when he is home before he goes to sleep, because I'm at work, so I can't take part. But I would be pissed too if he said he was too tired for me, but not for himself. He knows that I love sex as much as he does. But if I'm horny I just take care of myself if he is not available, whether he is sleeping or not home or busy. It isn't all up to him, ya know. When we do get together it is amazing and I love making love with him. For us it is quality over quantity.

Something I have done before though is "wake him up" and he has done the same for me. If one of us is tired, we ask if we can "wake them up" and start to play sexually. Usually we get aroused and forget that we are tired.

Sorry I don't have better advice. Talk to him about it.

 

Are you the new TA for Sensitivity 222? *L*

~~~~~

As for the original q -

HELL YES!... Honestly.

 

Yes, men sometimes get sleepy and are not interested in sex. But the masturbation is odd.

Have you tried to suggest that if he is that tired, the two of you can sleep together and then have a sunrise special?

Or it is possible that he has a fantasy that he wants to explore on his own. (Which would you prefer, his fantasizing of another woman while masturbating or fantasizing while in you?)

By the way, his masturbation is not rejecting you. Many happily married men, who love their willing wives, masturbate.

 

there is a lot less psychic effort invovled with beating off than having sex.

 

yep, not to mention the masturbation is probably just to prevent wet dreams from happening.


yes of course guys can be too tired, unfortunately their bodies still produce semen which has to be released eventually by one way or another. Best bet is to talk to him about it, ask how you can alleviate his stress and get him more in the mood for sex

 

whoever told you that is full of crap.

 

I think you might be suggesting that he's being unfaithful maybe. If he's too tired for you he might be getting it somewhere else but then you should be noticing other strange behaviorthat men who cheat display. Like does he shower more often, come home later (due to meetings likely), answer his phone privately. If he is cheating I'm sure you've picked up the signs.
Goodluck!

 

First of all--no he isn't cheating.
Secondly, we did talk, and I let him know how it hurt my feelings and really upset me that he chose to take care of himself the other night, and he knew I wanted sex. He again told me that it had nothing to do with him not wanting me he was just tired and the time it would take to make love to me what way more than it would have been just to take care of it himself, he apologized and didnt' realize it upset me as much as it did. I told him that next time he felt that way , just to let me know he was too tired, I would have been more than happy to "help him out" with his dilema, because at least it would have involved me. He didnt' realize that I would have been just as happy doing that for him, and getting mine later if he just would have involved me in the first place. So needless to say we had some damn great sex last night though.. So for now I think things are okay, and he has a clearer understanding of how I felt. Alot of my insecurities about masterbation stemmed from my exhusband, who would get out of the bed right after we had sex to go jerk off in the livign room, like he needed it constantly!!!! He was cheating though.
Thanks to those that were honest enough to admit that men just really get too tired--who would have thought.. LOL!!!

 

One more honest admission; if your husband is your age, there is a good chance that he will start slowing down a bit.

 

Mike--he's like 3 years older than I am. But He CANT slow down.. We're not THAT told yet..LOL!

"If a man needs Viagra, he is OBVIOULSY with the wrong woman. Don't know what that has to do with ANYTHING but I thought I would share. After all, EVERYONE is entitled to MY opinion."
No, no one needs Viagra in my house, but son't be silly, there are real medical reasons that men need it.

 

I am sometimes, but then I'm older with health probs.

 

Mmhmmm, great way to state a point
*shrugs* most of my guy friends and exes (well, the ones I've talked to about it at least) say that masturbation helps reduce the chances of wet dreams. Not saying it's a hard and fast rule by any means, but it works for some folks

 

Helps reduce the chances of prostate problems -
even in YOUNGER men.

Go ask Zappa... wait... he's Dead.


Hey 20somethings - don't even begin to Think you're too young...

 

You need to start hanging out with people who have actually finished puberty then.......

I wouldn't worry about it if your hubby/bf just knocked a quick one out.... especially as he seems open about discussing it, and seems genuinely understanding of your feelings on the situation....

If your lying on the bed waving your ankles at the ceiling and he's downstairs beating off to porn, then you got a prob... but it don't sound like he's looking for an alternative to find his kicks... he just fancied a quicky without the rest of the routine that sex brings.

 

well jesus, I'm sorry for trying to offer an alternate possibility, how very bad of me to have done such a thing on the hipforums