ok, cheezy but I do need your advice....

Here's the deal:

My brother's 25, he just graduated university, great job, solid outlook in his future, good head on his shoulders, probably one of the most mature guys his age that I know, and I'm not just saying that because he's my brother.

The thing is, he's "casually" dating a woman who's 40, and the couple times that I've met her, I really get the impression that the only reasons why she's dating him is because a) mid-life crisis, and b) she wants kids. Guys her age that she tried dating already have kids and aren't interested in having more, and I get the impression that she's more looking at my brother as a sperm donor than a boyfriend.

Personalitywise I think she's fine, it's just that I'm really weary about her as far as this is concerned. Obviously, I don't want to see my brother get hurt. I see the way he talks about her, and he talks about her like a boyfriend would talk about a girlfriend. But when she talks about him, she's just kind of cynicle (sp?).

So, the question is this: What would be the best way to talk to my brother w/o sounding like a bitchy older sister? Because I really don't want to come across that way... I just want him to be a bit more cautious about dating her, and I hate to say it, but I really don't trust her and don't think he should be with her at all. I honestly think she's bound to hurt him. Any help?

 

You have to let him find out for himself.

That's how relationships are...no one from the outside can control them. We have to learn the lesson ourselves...

After all, what if you're wrong and she does actually care about him? Then who looks like the stupid one???

I say...hands off...let it happen if it's gonna happen.

 

Take him out on the town more, let him see what he is missing.

 

how long have they been together? if he's happy i say leave it alone for now (unless she says something that really reveals her intentions), and if she's truly just using him he'll find out sooner or later. he may get hurt, but sadly the only thing you can do is let their relationship run its course. and who knows, maybe it'll work out great?

 

I agree with Annie... you have a better chance of hurting your relationship with your brother than convincing him anything is 'fishy' about is relationship.

 

I totally get what everyone's saying...

I just know how my brother is, he's got so many plans for the future, he's quite head strong and smart as far as plans, but he's also quite wrapped up with her, and I honestly think he's more serious about her that she is about him. She's got this really shitty attitude about schooling, thinking that even highschool is a waste of time (she's a big advocate for being a highschool drop out) and condescends my brother for graduating university.

Plus I'd hate to see him end up with a kid with her.

 

I don't know. It seems like the OP has a stong feeling about this. If I were in her shoes, I would have to say something. The question is how. I guess the only option is to be totally honest about it and just let him know what you're thinking. How he reacts is on him.

 

Walk around him naked like that Lacey Lady girl

 

I think you can tell him your concerns but your opinion is not going to influence him anyways.

 

^exactly..^

he's gonna do what he wants no matter what. i guess all you can do is let him know you are concerned that he think long and hard about it, and that you support him. it won't help him any if you end up getting into a heated argument over it, and it sounds like he really cares about her, so, yes, there will be an argument...

but, good luck with it. i hope it works out okay for you, and him.

 

Yes, I'm sure that'll go over wonderfully

My brother and I did end up having a talk... aparently she has had this talk with him, about having kids and whatnot... He told me that they really aren't serious, or at least he doesn't see the relationship as serious.

He's still getting used to the fact that she's 15 years older than he is (for the first month of their dating he didn't know)... so I dunno. He's definately not wanting to have any kids right now, but we had a good talk.

 

Is she a MILF?

 

I have a similar situation in that my 16 year old brother who is very bright but unfortunatly lived with my dropkick dad for too many years and now has left school without graduating is dating an 18 yr old woman who has a heavy drinking problem and is also quite 'loose' if you know what I mean. I can't stand her but unfortunatly my brother thinks he knows best, and it looks like his life will continue down the path to nowhere.

 

your mom.

 

Would beat your ass. Dont fuck with 4 11 El Salvadoran ladies. They are no joke

 

i'm not laughing. but if your mom wants to enjoy a good evening, have her call me

 

Only if you get me them shoes...

 

sonofa...blackmailer!

 

I'd be pissed to if some older woman was using my brother.

but ya like everyone else says you should tell him your opinion. he probably wont listen though, he probably thinks shes in love with him vice versa

on the other hand maybe she does love him

you never can tell

 

Thats how I roll...