how do i politely NOT sit at the dinner table?

Some more Einstein quotes...

"Our task must be to free ourselves . . . by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty."

"If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals."

"So I am living without fats, without meat, without fish, but am feeling quite well this way. It always seems to me that man was not born to be a carnivore."

"I have always eaten animal flesh with a somewhat guilty conscience."

"What is the meaning of human life, or, for that matter, of the life of any creature? To know an answer to this question means to be religious. You ask: Does it make any sense, then, to pose this question? I answer: The man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unhappy but hardly fit for life."

Sources:
http://choices.cs.uiuc.edu/~f-kon/vegetarian.html
http://www.vegetarianimage.com/Quotes.htm
http://www.ivu.org/history/northam20a/einstein.html

Boogabaah, you are in a bit of a tough situation. When I first went veg, I could handle being around other people while they ate meat. Now I can't. The smell makes me retch. I don't think it's rude to excuse yourself from dinner, if you talk to maybe one/two members of your family beforehand and politely explain why you wont be joining them for the meal. It's obviously making you upset, why put yourself through all that.

But on the other hand it is hard, on family occasions the meal is like the central part of the day when the whole family sits down together. Maybe next time you could invite them all round to your place for a veggie feast and start a new tradition of your own? I would avoid comments about vegetarianism over the dinner table, there's more of them than you, they will probably gang up on you, only making you more frustrated and upset. If they bring it up, just say nothing or say 'I don't talk about this over meals. But I'd be happy to discuss it later.'

They probably just want to get a reaction out of you, make you upset and draw you into an argument. It might be hard, but it's best to resist the temptation to 'rise to the bait' and get drawn into an argument when everyone else is against you, and just let it slide off you. They will just get bored and give it up.

Living Among Meat-Eaters by Carol J Adams is a great book, get it out from the library if you can. It's got heaps of advice about how to deal with situations like this.

 

That's a beaut of a first post, tofu breath!

I personally find it strange that they just talked about the food they were eating for that long. I'm transitioning to a vegetarian diet and my family/friends/whoever and I would never just sit and talk about how good the food was that we were eating.

Another thing, I get the impression that you weren't eating anything at the time, is this correct? Or else you finished quickly? Then why couldn't you just excuse yourself from the table and go biking or whatever? If these people are basically forcing you to sit with them while they eat, or making you feel guilty about not hanging out with them or whatever, they have some issues to resolve.

Do they know you're a vegetarian? If so, it almost seems like they are just trying to rub it in your face and almost tease you. If that's the case just tell them you feel like biking and leave.

I hope this doesn't happen with my family...the not being able to handle seeing/smelling the meat, because I love eating with my family and I know they would understand if I didn't want to be around a bunch of people chomping down on animal muscle, but I would just feel bad...like I ruined the dynamic.

brad

 

they know i'm a vegetarian. i did eat. (they had invited me to the table but didn't set me a place ) i went to the kitchen anf fixed myself something to eat, sat with them and ate my beans and rice. also some watermelon they had set out. 9 times out of 10 a meal contains some sort of meat. i think this time it was a combonation of things that just pushed me over the egde.

the smell, the comments, the ex-vegetarian across from me, being invited to sit but no plate or utinsels set for me and... when i was in the final stages of weening myself off of meat i couldn't eat anything with bones in it. bones just upset me and since they were eating ribs..

last nights dinner was not so bad, infact it was nearly meatless. they had some chicken for their salads, which they didn't set in front of my thankfully.

i think if it happens again , i'll just say why i'm getting up from the table. they sorta expect everyone to stay seated until everyone is done.

 

In this situation you gotta do what you have to for your own peace of mind. Don't feel ashamed or embarrased or upset or angry or anything if you have to stand up and eat elsewhere, you have your rights to a quiet peaceful meal. Good luck with it.

 

i just don't want to be.. rude.


i think i'll just state my feelings and go else where next time. if they have a problem with my not wanting to join them while they eat something that upsets me.. so be it.

 

thanks a lot for the post..........I was looking for a good example of a vegetarian personality.........

 

i'm glad to see that OnlyOne is a meat eater

 

I understand being upset if they were joking specifically to get your goat but as a meat eater, I can tell you that some nicely cooked ribs can be like extacy in your mouth and it's near to impossible to not go " MMmm..oh god this is soooo good " It can also be considered rude to the cook if you don't do a little oo'ing and aw'ing over them. It probably wasn't something they were doing just to piss you off.

Now putting it infront of you, well someone probably just wasn't thinking there and if meaties aren't used to having a veggy about, it can happen and you should explain that to your host for next time.

And I can understand how just being around the smell can make you feel ill, so by all means, I don't think it's impolite to excuse yourself in such situation. It would probably upset them less than if you were breaking down at the table over it. And if they jibe you for excusing yourself, come up with some good 'meat sticking in their colon for a lifetime' jibes to toss back.

 

I've been going over this trying to come up with how to answer, and the best solution I can come up with is to try to have somewhere else to be on special meatosaurus days. Maybe you have a friend or small group of friends that would like to hang out at a park or at someone else's house on holidays and eat meatless meals?

My parents are extremely fond of their meat as well, and this 4th of July really hit me hard too. There were TONS of fresh fruits and veggies to eat so I definitely didn't go hungry. But right at the head of the table were 3 giant platters full of hamburger, sausages, and hot dogs. And for the first time in my life, I was physically nauseous at the sight/smell of ALL that meat. Mom, Dad, and a family friend raved all through dinner about the meat, and how good it was... and my mom kept suggesting that I just try a bite to see what they were talking about.

I talked with my husband about this, and it was actually his suggestion that we conveniently find somewhere else to be on picnic-like holidays, as they're the main meat-feasts of the year with my parents. So we will be calling up some of our friends that I know to be vegetarian and/or vegetarian friendly and inviting them over to our place And this came from a guy who thinks he'll die if he doesn't eat meat at least once per week!
love,
mom

 

One thing I can say to meat-eaters, and by no means am I bashing anyone for what they do... but people dont choose to get strung out on drugs because it " feels good", so why should we be fond on eating meat because it "tastes good"... and yes there are certainly conciquenses to both choices.

 

I would suggest making it sound like a medical issue. "I'm sorry, would you excuse me? I'm not feeling well. . . " and attribute it to a heavy meat smell later.