whenever i smoke salvia, it feels like on either side of me are opposing forces, and both want me on their side, but one is quite obviously unpleasant. also, it feels like everything around me is rolling towards the good side, trying to go under me and sweep me up with it. EVERYTHING seems to be either good or evil, which doesn't go with the way i view things normally (i don't believe in right and wrong). and it's like in a funhouse, when you have to pass through the tube that is spinning, and if you hold still and brace yourself, you will go with it, like a little kid in a dryer at the laundromat. anyone else get these feelings too? if not, what are your constant things that always happen, if any?
up to this point you are seeing your mind as a dynamic like an amoeba under a microscope, whose cytoplasm is flowing naturally due to light, heat, particles and chemistry. after this point you intellectualize and tangle yourself up. is north good? is south bad? these are just directions. echoes of "good and evil" in normal life-o-plasm are bound to be found, but the things you noticed above are about movement in natural directions, even if there is some imprint of over-complicated things upon it, it is all natural, and only over-complicated because you are so up close. Some terms have no meaning at certain viewpoints. i.e. microscopically "good and evil" are useless terms, but directions still exist. . the cosmic view of the stars and galaxies, is not in the least intimate with human affairs., and immersion in human affairs are not in the least like being acquainted with the complex flow of cytoplasm in an amoeba. so when your state of mind changes, you get a different kind of cosmos to be intimately involved with. usually it is like immersing into the now to such an extent that we do become "under the microscope".
I get the spinning-in-a-tube feeling, but theres really nothing good or evil about it that Ive ever noticed... sometimes there's someone watching me and it feels like they are turning the cranks or something and mocking me, but it usually goes away fairly quickly. The odd thing is when I break through im spinning the opposite direction as I normally do. The left side of my face tingles, like almost to the point of numbness. I sweat, a lot, like I have been running a marathon...but im not hot im cold, I usually end up putting a blanket over myself while im out of it. I laugh until I reach level 4-5, then start laughing again when I come down again. My mind manipulates sound - loops a beat in my head, changes what people say to me, etc.
Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil. - Friedrich Nietzsche Maybe your approach is not from love?
to say that my approach to anything is not from love is to say that you have absolutely no idea who i am. but that's a nice quote.
Sorry, wasn't trying to offend you or anything. I just mean that from a more philoshopical angle that if you are experiencing a duality, you would need to transcend it (or merge the two) to attain a unity. Or maybe find a balance between the two, in neutrallity. I know that this has been explained better by others.
