Dear observers, Hear me internally, Read these symbols that were pushed- Not pulled. I live in the bay area. There are millions of people here. Everything is expensive, loud, and proper. I'm a poet, a musician, I convert energy and I weep at the thought of my window guiding my eyes to the street. I fucking hate clothes, I FUCKING HATE WORKING THIS OBLIGATED MANIFESTO HAS GOTTEN OUT OF HAND and, in the nutshell, on the ground You've found me. I want to escape, I want to live... I JUST WANT TO LIVE! I AM SUFFERING I Don't know where to go, There's concrete blocking my food from growing, there are Police that would take me away for not wearing...jeans, and manufactured Things for warmth? On such a hot day. I seek help, from anyone, anywhere. I just want to know where I can go to just be. Live amongst other people that just be. I know you're out there living like humans should. This American Dream has woken up with a hangover and taken Tylenol as a fucking Remedy. Where can I go in this strange, strange Earth to just live? I will drop everything, my stupid car, my ridiculous job, and take my creativity with me. I can not live in the city anymore! Everyone's out of their fucking minds! I weeped before work, my eyes turned red and they thought I was stoned. Fuck- Wish I was. Can't even grow a weed, 'cause it makes us feel good. It's illegal to fucking grow marijuana. UGH SOMEBODY, WITH KNOWLEDGE, FUCKING TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS ABSURD LIFE-STYLE
as those before columbus that thought the world was flat.. you must understand,,.. your boundaries are limitless.. however.. if ya go to far in your quest.. ye to shall drop into the depths of hell.. luv n light
ok thanks for the logical insight, but I'm trapped. I was born into the city and do not know where to go! I came here and now I seek directions! Just like I seeked the mushroom out, the cacti out, the eyes right out. I know about the yin and the yang, man. That's why I'm here. I'm just a lost optimist, I know how I want to live, I know there are humans out there living like it, and I wish to join them! I wish to make fires, and play guitar for them, and me. I wish to improvise my spanish gypsy resonance back into the trees, thru the ears of ones who love earth as much as I do. Fuck this fucking city, I'm Sick- SICK! When I do acid here in the city I'm so keen to pollution that when I think too intensely about it I fucking throw up!!! this place is disgusting! There are methamphetamine addicts running around like clocks trying to get in, scratching and twitching and blinking but NO NO NO N NO I want to live with deer, and owls. I want to be hushed by the river,
How about I drum in 5/4 and do some research on this forum regarding communities, and then we'll talk jokes. 'cause Right now i'm serious, motivated, and focused. Looking for the path to hippy communities. Unveil? I'm seriously suffering out here in the city.
so am i brother,,, yer the one that said ya wanted to be hushed by the water,,, i was just tryin to help ya out... n we are serious too.... well not literally drowning we aint that backwoods...
ah, Gotcha. I'd sell my car right now If I knew of a community somewhere in California. I'd pack my suitcase, and throw it away. - Beck
NOTHING WRONG WITH BLINKING MAN!!!! (I know what you meant) hey man I feel ya I was right where you are...in a different time zone a few years ago I like your words man its said "out of the abundants of the heart the mouth speaks" but I think it should have been written "out of the abundants of the heart its HOW your mouth speaks" Im not sure if you dig that or not. but man its funny, your down in the bay area, one of the chillest cities (san fran) that I have come accross in my travelles...(I think searching for the same thing as what you are) I remember commuting to work on the Go train, heading into the tunnel like a million ants, to and fro same faces same expressions different people...its hell man I feel ya you mentioned suffering, this will always happen, a budda once told a story of a man who lay uncomfortable in bed, he tossed and turned, at first becoming more comfortable then alas he became uncomfortable as he was before, so he turned again after a while of this he bought a new bed, and for a while he was comfortable then he begane to toss and turn!!! its never a matter of life ceasing to suffer, life is suffering, its how we live threw our suffering is how we relieve it! you desire a place where to be free to live, to write to draw, to sit and play with the chi passed threw the tips of your fingers you just want to be not like any other, just you as you are yeah dude I think thats nirvana, for now man its how you deal I should say something about trying not to desire and this finding inner satisfaction or something else buddist, but I cant say that helped me in the long run, just gave me moments of pause, of a break from my own path I chose not the tossing and turing to be more comfortable but the act itself of simple motion. you see no matter where we go or what we find there, It may be perfect, and then we arrive we fuck it up, but for myself its the act of getting there not the destination which getts me all jizzy in side perfection does not belong to us, were not perfect souls..yet were manifestations of our own lives but what can the manifestation trully manifest?????? hey I wrote a koan peace drew happy tossing and turning oh yeah shhhh Ill tell you a secret "the opposit side of the yin yang.... is just a backward yinyang"
For some (like me) ... it doesnt matter where to live, or what to do... life, through my eyes, is a continual .... eternal sadness ........ ... but yes, nature. She is the only place I ever find some relief from my suffering.
So we think as one..me too. I am sick. I live in a city and I got sick. I found your words matched my heartsong completely. Oldwolf " http://hipforums.com/forums/member.php?u=269 " has what you want. You most probably you will have to fight the security of "what you know" and throw yourself into real life.....because really that is what you are seeking....It's hard to throw yourself off the cliff, but I have found that if you need it bad enough...it has to happen. You only get one shot at this life. Follow your heart and die with wisdom. "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived" Henry David Thoreau Contact me me when you get there...and take the same burden from my soul!
For those that will to See - opportunities abound - Change IS We are here to Learn and Grow But we choose how we See - what we dwell in (focus on) and our actions and reactions - no one else can do this for us. What a Blessing - and what a Joy ! we are truly blessed And if ye cannot See this you have forgotten your relations (connections) and true reverence that goes with the mere fact that you exist and 'counting your Blessings' and 'acting as if' are keys that help unlock the stasis. Blessings to you - may you come to Be your way.
what do you gus mean by "old wolf is the key"? .... to what exactly? how will he help those who are lost out?
Hey there~ your poetry really spoke to me. I live in NYC and experience a similar suffering. But I think its like Drew said "life is suffering". I once read something that kinda helps me with that fact---basically it said when you feel happy, joy, passion, pissed, frightened, etc. let it in and let it go---don't hold onto ANYTHING--experience it and let the next thing fill its place. So when I feel all "jizzy inside" (as drew put it..great description!) I feel it and know this too will pass. So I try not to hold onto that happiness coz that just creates more suffering....coz it can never be all "jizzy inside" all the time. Believe me livin in a city with millions of people who have their own agenda/plans/beliefs, etc. (which I belive is cool, whether I agree with them or not) ...it doesnt always make easy to apply these realizations-but I guess I'm better for having tried. I Hope this helps and hope you connect like I did when I read your words. G.~
