22% of married men admit to cheating

yeah, but, that's gibbons you realize. our closest realative in the animal kingdom are chimpanzees. and, i didn't say that women don't cheat either. it's just that, once a woman becomes pregnent, she has to invest all her energy into that baby for at least a year. a man can go out and get as many women as he wants pregnent. i mean, studies be damned. we all know that there is just something about guys that makes us have sex on our mind all the time. it may not make us hornier then women, but there is SOMETHING there that just gives us more of a driving force. it honestly may be different from man to man. i think for most men, they just get bored with their wife. there could be many reasons for this, some may be genetic, others may not. i think a big factor though, is, that your wife is going to be able to give you sex tonight, and tomarrow night, and the night after that, and the night after that, so and and so forth. there is no longer a challenge. you can pretty much have it whenever you wish. (this goes for women too) so, you get sexually bored, and want something new.

 

I think it has to do with society's/our simplistic attitude towards men

I mean, c'mon, the old joke of an on/off switch for men and the ridiculously complex control panel for women

I'm not saying it's the sole thing, but when we treat men as though they only have three or four needs to be met, it's inevitable that some of their other needs won't be met and they may turn to other partners/mistresses to try and satisfy that need (and I'm not jsut talking about sex/getting off, it's more to do with feeling wanted/appreciated/needed/respected/desired sort of an area)

Again, not the sole cause, maybe not even the primary, but a contributing factor

 

Actually if you read closely, it says BETWEEN 1983 and 1992. And many women may not admit it, but many do. You people can argue with me all you want, but I grew up around boys and I KNOW how their hormones are compared to women's. They're built DIFFERENTLY. They just are. It doesnt mean therent arent any women who dont get horny easier than some men, i'm sure there are tons. Find me ANY study that says women do it the same or more. There isnt one.
But women USUALLY need to have EMOTIONAL needs met before than can get turned on, while a man just basically needs to be touched. And we're talking about marriages, not one night stands or anything like that, where the woman is more emotionally involved. I'm not going to go look for studies or anything like that, I'm just talking from my personal experience so whoever doesnt want to agree with me, can. But I think that's the reason more mean cheat.

 

that about sums it up HappyJoy

 

Maybe not for everyone.

I think that lots of us read, & have experience. I believe things are slowly changing.

Women are now encouraged to take charge of their sexuality. To indulge in it, know it well, & enjoy it.

Men, like mine, aren't now always expected to know about cars...Or not talk about how they feel. (if they live with hip ppl ) ...Shedding of traditional roles.

If I have any needs, I tell him, point blank...No games, no expecting his ass to be psychic.

I feed his ego, & stroke it. Because he deserves to feel good.

Sex is always discussable, changeable, do-able. For us, anyways.

I think men cheat to feel alive, young, to have their egos stroked, or to try something different current girl won't do... (she's wild, maybe I can try that thing I saw in that porn...)
Sometimes they get addicted to beauty and chase sex that way.

There's that thing where they don't associate emotion to sex..I think that can change for them while in a healthy relationship.
I also think women can go the other route too. How many times had I read about these things..? I've given men cab fare and showed them the door when I was younger. Because, thanks, I'm done now.
Because I refused to NOT be able to take the same liberties a man would.
Don't believe everything you read. Some ppl live in ways that are atypical.


Feel free to add to this, dispute it, whatever...I might just be too optimistic. Not typical for me.

 

I agree, that's why I emphasized the word USUALLY. Obviously, every person is different and therefore every relationship is different. I also agree that women are becoming more open with their sexuality and things are changing, and I think that a lot of relationships can be the opposite of what I said, and men conenct sex to emotions and women not. Just, typically, from my experience being married and talking to other folks that are married, its usually the other way around. usually.

 

Good thing, that.

 

The thing about using primate data to say what men or womyn will do in relationship situations is flawed. Primates do not live in homes, they do not have jobs, they usually live in areas where food is abundant, and troops share food equally, so one male is not only responsible for the life and feeding of ONLY his partner and children. In humans, we have differenent types of social situations, we have jobs, our economics often requires monogamy, for an ensured sex partner for the male and for food and shelter for the female and the children.

Humans also can make promises to each other, which is all a marraige or dedicated relationship is. AFAIK, Bonobos (actually our closest relation, closer than chimpanzees) chimpanzees, gorrillas ect do not need to "marry" for either emotional, economic or survival purposes. ALSO, in most primate troops, ONLY the alpha male gets to mate. How would THAT be? He can mate with any female (although higher apes usually will not mate with close relatives, daughters ect) and as many as he wants, but only HE gets to get laid. The other males are basically just there in case he dies and to help gather food. (Unless they can convince one of the lower ranking females to hide in the bush with them for a quickie and then they both risk angering the Alpha and risk physical and emotional harm as well as being kicked out of the troop, which is often a death sentence, especially for a female. Polygamy doesn't look so good in it's real light, does it? (Unless you're the Alpha or one of his favorite sons.)

 

Yeah, you're right...I got caught up in arguing. Besides many species will simply screw anything.

 

quote: (Unless they can convince one of the lower ranking females to hide in the bush with them for a quickie

Now that is what I'm all about

 

Maggie, you really need to read up on primate sexual behaviour if you are gonna make posts like this.

several species of primate practice rape (including group rape) and chimpanzee's females have often been witnessed offering sex in return for food/protection etc.... their behaviour is scarily similar to our own... you'll find in the primate world, an "alpha male" is usually the exception, not the norm.

 

These studies rely on people ADMITTING to cheating. It is more socially acceptable for men to cheat, so therefore they are more likely to admit to it. I suspect that just as many women cheat as men - they just don't admit it...

30% of all paternity tests reveal that the man who thought he was a "father" isn't. Meaning these women cheated.

If you think of it in evolutionary terms then it is in both sexes advantage to cheat. It is an advantage for women to cheat because they can be inseminated by a "stud" whilst their partner (who might make a good parent but has shit genetics) looks after the kids. For men it is an advantage to cheat because it is another opportunity to pass on there genes.

Everyone cheats and stereotyping one gender as "unfaithful" is nothing but sexual discrimination.

 

Yes. But to the individual who provides the food and protection.....the Alpha. In higher Apes, (Certain Troops of Bonobos in isolated areas of China excluded, since everybody fucks everybody in a small number of Bonobo troops ) meaning chimpanzees, gorrillas, ect, the Alpha, silverback or whatever you want to call him, is the leader and often is the only one who gets to mate. "Group rape" is exceedingly rare in primates in the wild and usually occurs in crowded, underfed, high stress enviroments like "bush zoos" or when several troops are pushed together due to Habitat Destruction. Fact is, if you want to live like a Male Higher Ape, chances are you only get laid if you are the Alpha or one of his recognized sons.(In other words, it isn't any easier for most dude apes than it is for most dude humans, unless you happen to be one of the fortunate few who live in one of those isolated Bonobo Troops. But they are also in danger of exinction. So, life sucks for them, despite the ease of getting laid.) When the Alpha decides to have a fling with a lower ranking female he may deny paternity (certian members of Congress come to mind........)

I HAVE read up on Primate behavior.

(seamonster, LOL! Often the babies of these unions get special treatment, as the Alpha often assumes they are his.)

 

You need to update your reading maggie

http://www.mc.maricopa.edu/dept/d10/asb/anthro2003/origins/apeswrath.html

 

It really doesn't contradict what I said, that in CHIMPAZEES (the most violent of the Great Apes, next to humans) that females will use sex to protect themselves. However, my point was not that, but that in MOST Higher Ape Troops (with the exeption of Bonobos) the Alpha Male is usually the only one to mate. (Except the occasional "sneak off to the bush for a quicky.") Also, yours was one incident, in Chimpanzees, violence usually only occurs in times of great stress,when the Alpha is being replaced of when the animals are crowded or threatened. And "group rape" is virtually unheard of.

Here is some info about Alpha Males. In fact if you put "Alpha Male Chimpazee" into a search engine, you will be rewarded with thousands of hits, few of which dispute the Alpha gettin all the babes claim.

Oddly enough, the most eglatarian Apes, the Bonobo (and the more isolated they are, the more peaceful they are) are matriarchial groups where Free Love and Sex makes Woodstock footage look prudish. In Bonobos, there are less incidences of Alpha Males ruling, and more "free sex for everybody" as these animals, both male and female use sex to reduce tension in the Troop. However, the Chimpanzee and the Bonobo are NOT the same animal, and some anthropologists feel we are closer to the Chimpazee (which would explain an Alpha Male society) and others say we are closer to Bonobos (which would explain a more matriarchial, egletarian, sex oriented, low aggression society.) Most dudes I know who had to go to High School Gym Class would claim we are closer to the Chimps, I don't know.

Here's an other definition from Wiki, if you choose to read it

 

I fail to see how paternity tests relate to the fact that married men cheat on their spouses on a 2:1 basis.

Your reasoning logic makes no sense. Both married men and married women are equally likely to admit to cheating on a spouse on a survey. You can't go around and assume that women admit less to cheating than men do. That's just not true. What if there was a study on married couples that could prove that most of time, women that cheated admitted their affairs to their husbands - whereas the husbands that cheated were less likely to be honest with their wives?

I'm just saying that the results of the majority of surveys - show similar results - and that is: Married men cheat more often than married women.

 

If you meant my other point, that was that we CANNOT randomly take any desired or desirable animal or even other primate behavior and easily translate that into "Oh, humans are identical." We have language, money, difference social skills, (there isn't only ONE dude who gets to get laid in your neighborhood, is there? No, then why should female HUMANS be expected to act exactly like ape females? THAT was one of my points.)

We can't even say that Bonobos and Chimpazees have identical or even similar social and socio-sexual structures, HOW can we give the reaction of any other animal, primate or not, and say "Oh, womyn ALL have to act like this, too." It can't go both ways. We are related to Chimps and we are related to Bonobos, but we are NEITHER of them, and even Chimps and Bonobos (not to mention Gorillas, who have an even stronger Alpha Male system than Chimpanzees) cannot be compared to each other to say that one species will do something just because a related species does.

 

i could never cheat on my wife. i just don't feel the need. maybe because i truly love her.
maybe people cheat (not just men) because they're not really in love. true love is rare.

 

It is NOT a fact that men chat on a 2:1 basis (this is a guess based on research that relies on people admitting to adultery). The link you posted is an article about the results from ONE study that relies on people ADMITTING to cheating. This is a very basic flaw in this research and the article you referenced does not mention how (and if) it controlled for honesty. It does not even mention if other research has taken the honesty variable into account. Correlation DOES NOT mean causation and an uncontrolled variable (such as honesty) could skew the results. Not to mention the problems with assuming that a sample of university students is representative of the whole married population. According to the article they did not even bother to control for age, class or occupation which could also skew the results (maybe middle class males between the ages of 18-25 cheat more often than the rest of the adult male population OR simply more often the 18-25 middle class female population).

The only way to really find out if there is a gender difference is to actually observe the cheating behaviour amongst a large representative sample of married couples (of all ages) who do not know they are being watched -good luck getting that research past an ethics committee. You yourself started this thread with the title "22% of married men admit to cheating" NOT "22% of men cheat".

The article does not say that men and women are both as likely to admit to cheating as one another. YOU are ASSUMING this. You are also assuming that research reported in the media is not misrepresented to sell newspapers. My reasoning and logic do make sense. I provided a plausible mechanism to explain why I think these results occurred.

Yes, what I said is unproven, but it is also unproven that there is no difference between the sexes regarding how likely they are to admit to cheating. There are differences between the sexes on a variety of different measures. It is folly to automatically assume that there is no difference simply because it confirms ones own stereotypes.

I would accept the results of a study that did this, provided the study could be replicated and took extraneous variables into account. I can't imagine that a study like this could actually be conducted within the limitations of ethical research.

The majority of surveys do show similar results. I am not disputing this. What I am disputing is what these surveys purport to measure. They do not measure wether people actually cheat. They measure how frequently both genders admit to cheating (regardless of the actual rate of cheating). You cannot assume that because more men admit to cheating on a survey that more men than women actually cheat.

 

Only 22 percent wow