My mom is driving me CRAZY re: my religion

I was raised Southern Baptist. In 2002, I converted to Wicca. My mom found out in 2004. She flipped out and didn't speak to for six months. Ever since then, she's been sending me books and random articles, the gyst of which is always "See, the Bible says that witchcraft is evil, so Wiccans MUST be devil-worshippers!" I don't know what she's expecting me to do, suddenly realize she's right and be Christian again? I keep explaining to her that Bible quotes aren't going to convince me, because Wiccans don't recognize the Bible as a holy book. She just doesn't get it. When I tell her I'm happier as a Wiccan, she insists "You're not happy!" She doesn't get that I'm only unhappy when I'm around her because of her attitude. She thinks I'm just doing it to rebel and I can't possibly be anything but miserable as a non-Christian.

It got better for a little while when I refused to visit until she promised to behave. She adores my son, so after a bit, she said she'd be good. It's been a few months and she's been good about it (not even mentioning it when I wear my pentacle around her), but I just got another "Wiccans are evil because the Bible says so" email.

My mom is bipolar and is not being treated for it, so she's really hard to deal with. I just don't know what to do to get her off my back. I guess I'll just ignore her emails and calls until she decides to promise to just shut up about it. She doesn't have to like my religion, she doesn't have to change HER religion, but she does have to accept it and SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY!

Anybody have any tips for me for dealing with this?

 

I kind of understand how you feel. When I was thinking about becoming buddist or a pagan my mom got mad at me a qutoed the bible to me to. Shes not as rash as your mom over religion. But I just kind of figured religion always hurts someone (the genocides, the arguing of homosexuals, the unacceptance from others.) I just figure for me personally its better this way.

But don't give up your religion, if its what you believe sometimes its going to be a hard struggle to make others accept it. But as long as you believe that it is right and you feel happy with it stick to it.

As far as your mom, doesn;t seem like she will change soon. Just tell her that this is what you choose and this is what you believe in and you don;t want her to become wiccan you just want to be respected of your belifs. I mean you could be doing the same thing ot her heckturing her about your religion. If she doesn't listen to your side tell her that you are her daughter and she should accept you as you are. Tell her that you still love her, but you do not apperciate her forcefullness.

Hope I helped some. Good Luck

 

My mother had the same problem with her sister when she left Christianity. My aunt is a woman who always has the best intentions, but she is more than a little bit of a bible thumper. She kept trying to save my mom's soul, which really hurt my mom because they were very close. Eventually, though, she just gave up.

It's a lot easier to just tell the Mormon knocking on your door to fuck off then your family members. Because the Mormon knocking on your door doesn't know you or care about you and is just doing it because he has to. But your mom probably is really concerned about your soul and all that. That's the hard thing. A lot of times, when Christians try to convert you, they really think they're doing the right thing. Perhaps if you don't respond to her preaching, she'll stop. That's what worked for my mom. It took awhile, but eventually my aunt recognized that she wasn't doing the right thing, she was just hurting someone she loved.

 

let me guess, you love the devil now. give it some time and explain to your mother that there is more than one way to worship.
and ask where in the bible that wicca is mentioned. i don't recall reading that one?

 

I've got a related problem. I converted to Wicca as well, but my entire family is either Catholic or Lutheran. After a while of my mom being accepting, she realized I wasn't going to give up my newfound religion, flipped out on me, and told me to never talk about it, practice it, or have any item relating to it in the house around "her son". It really hurt me, but now we have a sort of understanding. I don't openly advertise it, and she doesn't force me to go to church (I still go with her on Christmas and Easter). Now my aunt on the other hand, called me a baby killer and a devil worshipper and told me that if I didn't quit it she'd never speak to me again. So I didn't talk to her for six months and she realized what a mistake she made. Now she pretends it never happened (and when I got my first hickey at age 16 she called me a prostitute in the making). My advice is just ride it out. Eventually, she's just going to realize she's hurting someone she loves, like Stillravenmad said.

 

Wicca wasn't a recognized religion when the bible was written, so i don't see how the bible could refer to it.

I know that's not very helpful to you, lol, but it had to be said.

 

Minka, you are an ADULT. One of the hardest things about growing up is letting your parents KNOW this.

Practice your faith. Tell your mom religion is "off Topic for discussion." This could be permanent or temporary. A LOT of families have religion as "Off Topic" (meaning people get along better if it is not disccused.) Even people who practice different types of Christainaity or Judiasm. I had a freind whose mom had a Traditional Muslim upbringing and she converted to B'Hai and THAT had to be Off Topic with her family.

In my family Food Allergies are Off Topic, as my inlaws "don't beleive in them." I can't convince them, I refuse to drive myself crazy, I have NO intention of feeding my kids things which make them sick, so it is Off Topic Discussion material.

Make it clear, and stick to it yourself. That means NEITHER ONE of you brings it up.

In some difficult situations, with difficult people this is the ONLY way to get along. If you need to go No Contact for a while (sometimes neccesary to do with people who are mentally ill and won't treat themselves) then so be it. But, YOU be the adult, practice what you know to be best for you, and there will be NO reason to discuss it.

 

i know how you feel, if i don't go to mormon church every sunday then i dont get a fucking room. I told my mom that i wasn't mormon, but she won't accept it, she says that just because i say im nont mormon doesnt mean that im not, im trying to get my records removed from the church so that i wont be a mamber anymore, but i can't until i'm eighteen.

 

i know how you feel, if i don't go to mormon church every sunday then i dont get a fucking room. I told my mom that i wasn't mormon, but she won't accept it, she says that just because i say im nont mormon doesnt mean that im not, im trying to get my records removed from the church so that i wont be a mamber anymore, but i can't until i'm eighteen.

 

Well, let her comment and ignore it probably won't work.
Maggie's idea of Off Topic for Discussion sounds like a good one.

Please remember that your mother loves you and sincerly believes that Wiccans will burn in Hell forever.

 

I guess I'm extremely fortunate. My mother is very supportive of my spirituality (pagan/wiccan). My mother is into Druidism. However, if the rest of my family knew (Catholics and diehard Baptists)? Pssshhh, they'd be all up in arms over it.

 

As a former christian, I can say that it very hard on families to accept. Like a PP said, they really believe that you are going to burn forever for your choice of religions. It's not that they believe they have to talk to you about their faith. They are taught that if you don't accept Jesus it is because they didn't do their job. they are required to lead everyone that they meet to their choice of god. I really like Maggie's idea of making it off-topic forever. Practice what you believe in your home and let her practice her religion in her home. For a long time, I would turn the books around backwards so my mom couldn't read the titles. And pictures came down off the walls if I knew she would be over. I finally got to the point that I said wait a minute, I pay the rent here not her. I will have the books and pictures that I want. We just agreed not to talk about religion any more. I know it must have been hard on her, but we survived. I know she was disappointed in my choices, but it was my life. There is a verse in the bible that talks about 'there are others who are not of this fold." I believe that includes Wiccans.

Stay strong in who you are.
Blessed Be,
Kathi

 

yea, my mom and whole family act like that to me. i say im do not want to be a catholic. gave reasons too. not just to rebel or anything. but they wobnt accept it. i told them that confirmation is when the child chooses himself that he wants to be a part of the church. i didnt want to be but they made me get confirmed. i tell them i dont want to be a catholic but they say im too young to make that decision.

but that doesnt make sense. im old enough to choose to be part of the church but too young to choose to not be part of it. all they say is exactly and quote some more bible quotes.

i ignored all that fine for a while but now when i got busted for weed it started up again. im getting all these 5 page e-mails quoting verses from my aunts and uncles about how im going to hell for smoking and my mom kicked me out of the house saying that god hates stoners so she doesnt want one in her house. so now im at my dads.

my advice, theres no way to change a christians mind, so dont try. they are too closed minded and wont listen. just ignore then or tell them to shut the fuck up. im gonna do the latter if i get one more e-mail