My grandson is 13 years old and still has an imaginary friend. He tries to keep it hidden from everyone, but when he is alone he just talks away to the imaginary friend. Recently his father (my son-in-law) found marijuana in his room and we believe he suffers from depression, but when we got him tested for depression he lied on all the answers and getting him to talk about personal things is pretty hard. Any advice?
Dare I even speak of the things I did when I had privacy at that age? Some really quirky behavior is entirely normal when alone at that age. For instance, I remember using a bunch of pickup sticks to simulate a football play, complete with commentator commentary, and in my mind, it was all real. Had anyone watched me, they'd probably say that I looked like an insane, delusionary, hallucinating and possessed teen-demon. I could imagine pastors and lots of talk of Jesus following. That's not to say that all odd behavior is, as a rule, normal and okay. But in my opinion, parents are far more likely to over-react and cause real problems than to react in a way that helps at all. We're all a little weird growing up, and we need to sort it all out, and in a home filled with love and kindness, most of us DO. On this particular thing, I really did often imagine someone watching a movie as it's seen through my eyes. I never visualized this other entity in any way... but I very often imagined being in a movie of my own dull but strongly-perceived life. My wife admitted to the same, and we both laughed because we both thought it to be REALLY strange at the time. But I really think that's normal. At that age, we want to be seen as valid creatures with a unique and valuable perspective. And beyond the imagination, most of us really can't see it in practice, or at least that's become our perspective on that sort of thing.
Oh gosh, thinking back I think it was in Senior High that there was a huge "fad" where absolutely EVERYONE had an imaginary friend that followed them to school. Mine was a rabid purple flying hamster named Nermal that my friends would "take home" and "watch for the night" for me. Just in case, I'd ask around and see if something like this is going around before you get too worried love, mom
you shouldnt get too weirded out about him have a friend that hecan only see all this means is taht he has a very active imagination you should be gald about that wheni was 13 i had no imagination and i had to go to therapy or whatever to get my imagination going. Also talking to an imaginary friend is so much better than talking/fighting with himself. If you want to you should get involved with these conversations with his friend ask him what his friend's name is and all that good stuf. On the other hand this could be a sign of schitzophrenia or split personalities. So be on the look out for any other strange behavior besides his friend. good luck
ditto that. When I was little, like five or six, I remember getting really upset when adults called my invisible friends "imaginary"...
meh, i wouldn't say to get inolved with the imaginary friend, at that age, a lotta kids need their special space that is exclusive to them. we rarely give our children space in their own heads to work shit out. i talk to myself all the time still. i work out a lot of stuff. it's like having an imaginary friend, except that i've never had the imagination capable of creating something more real to me. but seriously, i was truly bizarre at that age.
I sometimes have imaginary kids. And I talk a lot to imaginary people. It's just my little world. I love it that way, and consider myself very normal and mostly stable. (Nobody is 100% stable....hahahaha*ggg*)
well, social situations and social pressure are usually what forces us to grow out of the imaginary friend stage. but i've seen too many kids growing up around and with me go through some truly strange periods in their life to worry overly much.
We're pretty close and he's pretty interested in that I was a deadhead, not very social but has a lot of friends. It was always thought (in my day) that IF's weren't a good sign, especially after age 7. He seems more like he's 16/17 then 13 and my daughter told me the other day he's been having a long string of panic attacks lately.
Well, I decided to talk to my grandson the other day and learned that pot isn't the only drug he's been taking. Apparently, he has been using methamphetamine also. He even showed me the pipe he made out of a light bulb. I've smoked pot, but never used meth.. So I'm not really sure what to expect / do in this type of situation. He told me not to tell his parents he'd been using the drug, but I'm not too sure I can keep it from them. Advice? (He told me he's quit pot and meth since his dad found his stash of weed in his room, and they are apparently hooking him up with counseling. But in his his words: I am not sure how long I can go without meth)
Meth is evil. People go crazy on that stuff, especially in combination with weed. Severe paranoia and agressiveness is what I have seen in most people. Having an imaginary friend is, if it is at all related to that issue, extremely harmless. There is nothing you can do about this, besides trying to get him to counseling, and trying to make him understand that this will destroy him in the long run. You two are in my prayers.
meth ruins people's lives. It's right up there with crack. I wouldn't worry so much about the imaginary friend. The kid needs some serious help, but nobody can help him if he doesn't want their help. Often, it is adults trying to help that makes the problem that much worse.
Good Psychiatrists and Psychologist do more than just "test" they OBSERVE and talk, Most good mental health professionals won't even give a diagnosis until they really KNOW the person, and that often takes a lot longer in teens than in adults. That is the wisdom I think is true, especialy if they really think the "freind" is real. (In a teenager, we are in psychosis territory here, but this child NEEDS a good doctor who will spend time and diagnose him properly.) Little children are fine beleiving in "magical thinking" a 13 year old thinking like this is a sign of something more serious. IMO (and I have degrees in Psych and Child Development) is that at this age, this is NOT average, or even healthy. He may be very lonely, but a kid this age who is doing something like Meth is probably seriously disturbed. Take him to a GOOD Psychiatrist, one who specializes in Peds or Adolescents. NEVER take a first offer, when it comes to mental health. A good University teaching Hospital is the best place to get a good doc, who won't underdiagnose or over diagnose. Just the fact that the "professional" he was first taken to was SOOO off the mark that he didn't catch the Meth usage tells you a lot........that this person is a not very good mental health professional. This child needs help. Don't settle for anything less than the best. It won't get better on it's own. Just to satisfy my own curiosity what "test" did they give him to (wrongly, it seems) rule out depression? A scantron sheet, or an hour long interview is no replacement for GOOD mental health work. If the "imaginary freind" came before the Meth, you will have a lot to worry about. (scary things like Schizophrenia, Bi Polar Disorder and personality disorders) if the Meth came before the "imaginary freind" then it is just a symptom of the drug usage. Either way, this boy needs help, now. Good luck, your grandson will probably thank you........one day. JFTR, my oldest has Tourette's Syndrome and severe ADHD, she never had symptoms like this, but we got her into therapy at about teh age of 9, so she could deal with this most difficult illness. The doctor REFUSED to give her any other diagnosis (other than what the neurologist alredy had) until she had gotten to know Sunshine, and had sessions with her twice a week or more for MONTHS. She said, "I can't get to know Sunshine until she trusts me, and that will take months. Until then, we won;t know anything. Once she trusts me, and I get to know her, too, we can actually begin to trust and ONLY THEN will she open up and be honest with me." I can't say it any better than this. Even without a "diagnosis" this child NEEDS regular therapy with a PhD or PsyD psychologist, who is, in turn, working with an MD Psychiatrist, for backup and possible medication and possible hospitalization, so he can trust, open up, and get better and heal. Healing thoughts to your grandson, and the entire family. Usually the ENTIRE family needs therapy, as families are living units and it is impossible for just ONE person to be the only one who needs some help. Healing thoughts for you all.
