HELP...i fucked up the only thing i care about!!!!!!!!!

I agree, Peanuts. People can change if they work on it. Knowing how to go about making those changes is the tricky part. It seems like you and your husband actively looked for another way to communicate problems to each other, coming to healthy, balanced conclusions. You went to the source, and didn't get sidetracked. That's oh so rare.

What usually happens is people don't get that it's the way they communicate, not what they communicate about, that causes problems. It's not about water behind a computer, or accidentally dropping papers, or space issues or anything like that at all... it's the way it's talked about... belittling, insulting, and blaming the person you care about is unhealthy, and it doesn't matter if the argument gets resolved and everybody's happy the next day, the damage is done in the way it was resolved. This damage builds over time, the effects are felt way down the road when it's too late to reverse. People who've been there and done that can see it a mile away. I'm not saying that's the case here, there's no way for anyone to know that really, but if the type of communication that's been described in this thread is the norm, well that's just really, really bad.

 

Be a man and stop apologizing all the time like a wimp. Be a man and tell her you won't take her crap. Then she will respect you and won't give you so much grief.

If she pulls the " I need space or need a break" "Say good idea! While were at lest make it a permanent space (or break). Hope you enjoy your space because I'll certainly be enjoying mine!"

 

NO. I WOULDNT BE ENJOYING MYSELF. I WANT TO MARRY THIS GIRL FOOL. THERE ARE OTHER WAYS OF DEALING WITH SOMEONE THAN CUTTING THEM OFF COMPLETELY. The point of this was that I was nervous she wanted to break up when in reality it was just some things on our mutual minds that needed to surface. As I stated, we never have problems, so to have a minor one even would ripple our usually peaceful pond insanely.

thanks for everyone who commented. even the douche's. problem solved, no need to comment anymore. case closed. anyone who posts another comment; you are a tool

 

Bah

 

well.. the whole argument seems very small, and the whole reaction too big. Imagine the two of you will marry, and you will fight over bigger things, for example money. I hate to say that, but money can cause some serious fights if the budgets are not settled in properly. or when you will move out, thats not as simple as it seems either (the questions like where, how much, how long?), not to mention when the children come into your relationship.
so what I'm saying is.. while you are still free, you have to put up Your boarders. you have to let her know how far can SHE go when it gets to settling arguments. if you let her get everything she wants all the time, you might end up loosing big time in more important matters.

 

can u read? problem solved douche bag! and the money problems? are those ur problems...we dont have money problems...pelase respect that the thread is dead

 

OK man chill out, I haven't read yr last one ok?

 

Well,I for one ,won't be offering any advice to kids any more."Now we"re perfect".hahahahahahah.------oh my.

 

go fuck yourself...i hope you die lonely and miserable

 

crows are usually black!

 

6/26/06...yesterday was our last day. tomorrow would have made it 21 months. they were great. unfortunately, there comes a time when someone says "i dont care" enough times that you realise you don't need to feel bad about breaking up, they were never there to begin with...

 

I'm sorry to hear you broke up. Maybe this won't be a permanent break. Maybe the time you have apart will be a good thing for the both of you and when/if you do get back together you'll have smoother communication with each other. If not it might be a wonderful learning experience you can take with you for your next relationship. (I'm sure you are not thinking about the next one now but it's better than the rinse and repeat cycle)

Hang out with friends. Keep yourself busy. I know at times that seems impossible but it's better than spending the time alone crying.

I wish you well

 

Expected, pipsqeek.

 

I thought the tread was dead man

 

LMFAO

 

good...laugh one of those huge fat asses of yours off...your husband knocked you up and married you out of guilt you slob

 

You're a real nice kid.I bet your parents are very proud.

 

let me guess, you are the closet homosexual who knocked the cow up?

 

heh.. I dunno why Im still writting in this thread.. I guess I have no life and feel sorry for myself, therefore it is nice to still post here to make myself feel better.

actually man, I mean.. rose the black, this thread is even more dead than Zed, and so put your mask back on and hide

 

It sucks that you are hurting but acting like this won't help you. You wanted help in this thread. People gave you their opinion. You wanted advice, people suggested it, you don't like it. What you don't like ignore, simple.

If these are the kind of comments you made to your girl I can't say I blame her for wanting a break. Manipulative, abusive behavior. There are ways to channel your anger. Take a deep breath.

If you need to talk to someone maybe a public thread isn't a good idea.

Have you talked with your girl? Are things any better?