Bisexuality...a decision!?!

is this true? Have any others here experienced this?

 

I think there are people out there who are sincerely attracted to both sexes, and then I think there are people out there who kinda MAKE themselves attracted to their own sex. For instance, my ex-best friend was my best friend for years and years. We used to talk about guys together, and never in a million years would she mention having any sexual relations with a girl...and she certainly never expressed any desire to do so.


Anyway...she is now dating a girl, and has completely changed. With her, it was like she just turned bi-sexual over night...kinda like a "fad" thing to do. What I believe it is, is that she found everything she wanted in a guy, in a friend of hers who was openly bi-sexual and had had many gf's in the past. The friend hit on her, and my ex-best friend was flattered, and I think she figured it would be easier to just be in a relationship with her now-gf than not be with anyone. I personally believe she's lying to herself, but I haven't said that to her, because she should do what she feels is right.

Anyway...I do believe that there are sincere bi-sexuals out there, but I also believe bi-sexuality is becoming such a fad as of late, that a lot of girls just think it's the "cool" thing to do, and are now labeling themselves to get attention. There's true love, and then there's pretend love and lust. I hope anyone who's in a relationship is in it for the true love.

 

That's exactly what I was thinking.

I think people stress to much over labeling and sexuality. You might lean one way or the other permanently, but if not there's nothing wrong with being fluid. If anything it's great because you're doubling your chances of finding a soulmate.

They should just chill and let you be who you are. It's not like you're hurting anyone.

I'm not sure sexuality is a choice per say, it seems such a natural part of who we are.

 

Well the thing is that sometimes it is a choice and sometimes its not. I got chick friends who will be at a club and decide they want a girl instead and then go back to guys for months on end. Kinda like how AoP was saying its kinda a fad now but what can you do? Then you can just be atracted to them both. I mean its not like its something you can 'cure' mainly cause its not a disease. I'm straight but got lots of friends of different orientations and some of them had it pretty bad. One thing my friend did was told their parents to write something and then went "No your using the wrong hand" and insist they have to use their other hand... You see where I'm going with this right? Basiclly your gonna have to aproach it because it wont be something that will just go away. You have to be open about it but not obnoxious. Eventually it will sink in to their heads that its not a phase and its who you are and hopefully they'll accept it. If you dont do something their gonna just try and hook you up with a million different guys. Lots of annoying shit like that. Good luck to ya

 

two of my ex girlfrinds dd the aforementioned "fake bi" thing and started making out in front of me in an attempt to arouse me...needless to say, i think they missed the point. neither of them claim to be bi anymore.

 

If you feel happier or more close to women and want to be with them more then you would with guys then so be it.... I think people will have to sooner or later accept you for who you are and accept the fact that you have different sexual prerences... I mean I personally think it can be a choice as well as it being just natural.... I mean some people choose to be bi-sexual because some of them have been hurt several times by many guys or girls so some choose to be with the same sex because they have been hurt a lot by the opposite sex. I can understand why you would want to be with a woman because it would be easeir explaining more feminin things and talking about it more with another women and because you both probably have been through many of the same things. I mean if you were a baby and growing up of course you have a choice of being with the opposite sex or same sex I mean sure some people grow up liking ONLY the opposite sex but you do have a choice. Choosing either opposite or same sex is a choice. Some people who have been beaten up a lot by the opposite sex choose to be with the same sex or some people just find the same sex more attractive... You can still find men attractive but it doesn't mean you would rather be with men it's just an emotion.
But i think that people will have to accept the fact that you like both men and woman. It's no crime it's just a sexual prefrence. You shouldn't let them get in the way.. If they love you as much as they do they would have to sooner or later accept it.

 

There were alot of good points in your posts. I comepletely agree with the "fad" statements. Last year a friend of mine used to come onto me in front of her boyfriend to try to get him excited. It was really silly, and embarrassing. The comment "Just because your attracted to men doesn't mean you want to be with one" really made me think about my intentions. Anyway, I appreciate all of your posts.

 

I had the same sort of thing with my mum when she found out I was bi. It took her two years to realise that it wasn't a phase.


Basically what it comes down to is that this is YOUR life and you should live it in whatever way makes you happy. That is the most important thing.
Don't listen to them or let their comments make you feel bad or insecure. Love and sex are two beautiful things, irrespective of who you love or have sex with. Gender is irrelavant.

 

well I tried to make some good points... i'm glad you read mine (sorry if it was a little long).... I hope it helps a little..... heh heh

 

Being bi is just a phase in growing up. Everyone outgrows it.

 

i dont think think everyone out grows it.. my friend who is liek 50 years old was bi i think..

he just passed away

*flower*IN MEMORY OF BEAUTIFUL JOHN MCLEAN*flower*
​

 

I tried not to be bi sexual for two years. It was the most sexually frustrating period of my life! You can't deny who you are.

 

In a way, I would agree with that statement... Or, rather, you haven't met the right person. Unless, of course, you fully intend to live a polyamorous lifestyle, but the poly partnerships I've seen last more than a decade are few & far between... But, most of us, even if we are bisexual, will meet that one person & settle down to a long-term monogamous relationship. Which, for all outward appearances, will make you appear either straight or gay, depending on the individual with whom you build that relationship.

As for my experiences, my dad is not like most parents... When I told him I'm bi, he responded with "I always expected you to bring a girlfriend home." I'm still trying to figure out exactly what he meant with that one! However, I generally am not one to come on to come on to anyone, so I've dated far more guys than gals. And, well, I have now been dating a wonderful man for over a year & we're planning to grow old together... We're both very much in love & very much agree that monogamy is the best option for us. As much as I enjoy being with women, I don't feel I am missing anything, because my boyfriend means so much to me... I imagine I would feel the same way if I had fallen in love with a woman, instead... But, I'm rambling, excuse me... :&

 

its my opinion that it doesnt matter if someone is bi or "fake bi" as you say... becasue if you are okay with bi then you are okay with people sleeping with the same sex.. what do you care if they are opening up their sexuality? in the end, people grow up to find what and who they prefer. you may think that they are doing it becasue its the fad.. but thats okay, good for them.. they can decide after if they want to keep doing that or not.

 

People don't want to accept that you can have that connection with a woman because it isn't something they can undestand. You will never be able to make them undestand. You just have to keep doing what you want to do. I do not have to explain my sexuality with my husband/ a man to anyone...so why should you have to explain yoru self about a woman? You just have to say this is how it is...it works for me and tell them to get over it.


SOME PEOPLE JUST DONE GET IT

If it is socialy strange then well it must not be ok...fuckit. People are so open about it now we almost outnumber the people who arnt into it or don't want to admit it yet..but humans will sexualy act with other humans regardless of what they are/look like. Just let sexuality be what it is...a free endevor

 

waht people need to start doing is instead of assuming that a person has a male and fem relationship..they need to address each other in a politer way


How is your partner? Do you have a partner?

It is almost insulting to some people to have someone say and assume everyone has a male fem relationship.

 

well i dont know how valid this comment is, but i read somewhere, that there are many factors influencing wether a person be hetero sexual or homo sexual.
now, i dont know wether i agree with these findings. as i recall the research found that many of the homosexual tendencies came from some improper nutrition of the fetus. many other factors such as being introducted to certain sexual situation at young ages. i'm sure that would be a huge influence on a psyche, especially developing children. does ne one see a connection? i dont know what my point is. but well maybe it is just that there is more to it than " well today i think i'll be gay, and tomorrow maybe i'll be straight" ... its a bit more complicated than that. as i am sure all you have already figured though you can't ever decide it. say youve had a bad experience with the opposite sex, say he/she cheated on you. i don't think the next option would be to "try out" the same sex. the mind doesn't function that way. you must like what you see when you see the same sex in order to be attracted to them. "sex" strictly in My opinion isn't emotional. it is physical attraction. strictly. when i think of sex, i think physically not emotionally. im pretty sure that is how we function.

 

I don't see how those findings would be valed or how they can come to that.
I mean really it would take looking at the biological structure of the brain and a LOT of research and it seems if someone were to do that the results would be a lot more complicated...I mean really now...do you see how those findings are biased? something must have gone"wrong" or went "bad" along the line to make someone a homosexual. All the findings were attached to a negative conotation. Sounds fishy to me.

 

not everything that starts out negative ends negative. i had a miserable childhood, now i have a beautiful life. mutation SOUNDS bad, but here we are, doing just fine with an infinite variety of characteristics that makes everything so much more interesting, despite the fact that many mutations lead to death and pain. i've never understood the complete disregard for anythign that sounds negative. a lot of the best characteristics of human nature can only be exhibited during bad or painful situations: courage, fortitude, community. don't think of it as all negative, think of it as rising above.

 

i don't really see it negatively. there was ALOT of research done. this was done over an extremely long period of time. i just think that if everyone read what i read they would understand it alot better and then there wouldn't be such a stigma surrounding homosexuality.