Father? I hate you!

Theres only one person I hate...and I mean actually HATE! I hate my father. Growing up he cheated on my mom, pyshically and mentally abused my mother and has always choose his beer over his kids! My mom took us to a shelter when I was 7. We grew up just fine, and I had an awesome childhood. We struggled but we where happy!

But my parents have since than gotten back together. And ever since than
I haven't been as happy. I mean he calls my mom a bitch among other hurtfull names, which I think are too disgusting to repeat!

He complains about the house being messy, when most of it is his mess. He hasn;t picked up a singal dish in 5months to put it in the dishwasher. Hes to fucking busy drinking. He called my mom a bitch and told her that she better get out by tomorrow or hes going to call the cops. I mean what the hell? He was the one telling my mom how useless she was.

Of course I stepped in. I told at first nicely that he hasn't cleaned anything and that he could help. But in one ear out the other. But when he called my mom a bitch I lost it. I asked him why he came back if he hates us so much? I mean we where doing fine we don't need you. I mean we haven't needed you for the past 6 years, what makes you think we need you now? He than told us (me, mom, sister and brother) to get our asses back to where we came from and called us welfare pieces of shit. He also told me that he wasn't going to walk me down the ail when I got married. And I simply told him that he wasn't invited anyways and that he was a douche bag.

I mean I know its wrong for me to say these things, but he can't just walk back in to our lifes and procced to treat us like dirt. I mean if he wants respect, he should respect us right? I mean I have tried for a week and I just can't respect a man who threatens to beat my mom. I fucking hate him!

I have tried talking things out with him but hes to close minded to listen to me or anyone else for that matter. And when he does try to change it lasts about a day. I mean I don't know what to do in these situations anymore. I have tried talking, we have tried consulling. And it doesn't seem like my mom is going to leave him anytime soon. What can I do?

 

Join the club. My father is one of the meanest, nastiest human beings on the planet. My parents were divorced for years, got back together, and all they do is fight. My mother has become mean and nasty from being around my father so much. I think my mother is a masochist-I don't think she would know how to deal with a man that really treated her right. Trust me, I know what you're going through. I haven't talked to my parents in years-better to be alone than to be around them. My religion teaches me not to hate anyone, so I try real hard, but it ain't easy in this case. I sure wish you luck.

 

Snapper makes the solution CHIPPER SHREADER

 

Call the police. You're mom probably wont, abused women are going through so much shit psychologically, and the fact that she took him back after leaving once is a bad sign. You, on the other hand, see things the way they are and are thus more capable of solving this problem.

The fact that he's physically abused her before is a sign that he's not making any empty threats. He probably will start beating your mom again if nothing is done. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

Hey Brand New Soul,
There is no excuse for the way your Father has and is acting.
Now this is just my opinion on how things are and if I'm wrong, please forgive me.
First, your Dad sounds like he is the one who suffers from low self esteem.
Often, it seems, that people who do nothing but put down others and
are abusive mentally and physically are the ones whose view
of themself is the pits.
The drinking is probably his biggest problem. Drinking changes a person.
He needs professional help in more than just one way. He probably
thinks he doesn't have a problem or just won't face it.
Then there is the issue of why in the world your Mom would let
someone like that back into her life and especially around
her children, knowing what he is like. You and your siblings
do not deserve the abuse. No one does. And I can understand
100% why you feel the way you do. He needs to be reported.
They throw people like him in jail for abusing their families.
Sounds like he needs a good kick in the butt and out the door.
Final note, you are not welfare shit. You are a gift. And it
is his loss. Rise above this. It sounds like your Mother is
not strong enough to do this on her own. I know you
are young, and it's has to feel like a heavy weight
upon your shoulders. There is a better life out there
for your family and it's not going to happen til
he changes or is out of the picture for good.
I wish you love and light.
Hippietoad

 

Hippietoad thank you wow... I must say your 100% right. About the whole self esteem issuse. We talked to today, me him and my mom, and he said that he is going to get help because he wants to change so he can be with us. And thank you for your kind words! Hopefully he wasn't blowing steam agian and he dose fallow through with it.

Thank you all for your advice it means a lot to me! Thank you everyone!

 

I hope everything works out for your family.

 

Brand New Soul,
I am so happy for ya'll...I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers
and hopefully he will get his life straight, for himself and for your family.
It was so awesome that ya'll sat down and talked.
Please keep us posted on how it's going.
Peace,
Hippietoad

 

at least you had a dad to torment you! i never had a dad growing up. he just fucked my mom took her money and left her to take care of me. eventually she got so drugged up she killed herself leaving me with my grandparents. to this day i have never seen him and only talked to him once on the phone 5 years ago...nobody knows where he is so my grandpa can't take me as a legal gaurdian unless my "dad" signes it. and without my legal gaurdian the orthadonist(sp) wont knock me out and take out my hurting and ingrown wisdom teeth. fuckin bastard is nothing but trouble even when he's not here. also the trama of not having parents growing up.

 

Whoa man..... Im sorry! Honest to god from the bottom of my heart I wish you the best. I do hope your father shows up to sign those papers. I really am speechless, I wish there was something I could do more I could say. I know that sounds really lame, but I do wish I could help.

 

lol it's cool don't even worry about it....i'v heard it most my life anyways =/

 

Seems to me that MAYBE you should be angry with MOM as well for allowing him back in and causing all this for ALL of you AGAIN.

So call the cops, child protective services and BE PROACTIVE.

OR move to a relatives home and have no contact with your TOXIC MOM AND DAD.

 

I havent seen my dad...holy shit i`m scared to say it 9 years
ah,but i dont hate him,i miss him...somethimes really bad.
i really want to smoke a joint with him ahaha

 

Unfortunately there are some people who are just assholes, and there are also people who equally take the abuse. Sadly, it ends up hurting people and destroying families.


I agree with the whole calling-the-police issue... It may very well help to step in and interfere if things get violent again. If your mom had the courage once before to leave, then kudos to her. Sadly, she's thrown herself back into an abusive situation. Keep an eye out, and don't be afraid to call the police at the first sign of abuse to get him out of the house.

 

Welll my dad didn;t get consulling but after the talk things have been better! He has cut down on his swearing and his drinking. For how long... I don't know its been only been 9 days since the talk but its felt like for ever.

I have learend things about my father and I uderstand why he says some of the things he says although thay aren't right. His father never lived with him and left him and his sister to fend for them slefs with live-in nannies. His dad always said mean shit like to him liek he does to me. And his mom never cared about him till he started making a living!

I really do not like the way he is sometimes even to the point where I hate him....Sometimes I do regret saying that ...Like right now....Even though at the time I ment it. Somethings I'll never for give him for and will never forget. I guess I hate parts of him! Not him.

Yesturday he built my rubber band car for me and has been really nice to everyone in the past few days. Hopefully it will last!

I guess we can't have perfect parents ...and no one will. But I know that if he ever hurt one of my family members pyshically .... i don't think I could forgive him ...ever!

Im sorry to previouse posters who have not seen there parents.... I am truely sorry from the bottom of my heart. Man I wish everything could be perfect...but then there would be no reason to live. I mean don't we live to make a difference and to learn and to improve upon our mistakes, and go with the flow... take the punches that knock us down and make use out of them some how?

I wish you all the best and I thank everyone who has given me advice! It all helped me in some way to realieze how I feel and to understand my situation a little bit more. But I would like to expecially thank hippietoad....because I know this may sound a little werid...But when you said that you will keep me in your thoughts and prays that made me cry. For some reason... it cheered me up and I cryed because I felt sort of relieved that someone cared even though they did not know me. Thank you. ALL of you!!!

Shannon

 

hey sweetheart...i dont know why im sending you this message...i just read your post about dad...i dont know why im feeling evry bad about all this...i know many people are going through all this but still i dont know why im feeling a lil low for u...dont think i pitty u or nething coz pittying somebody is damn bad...all im feeling right now is that your really a very sweet young girl...and ure trying to explain things to somebody and uve got a lot of pain within...a request to you...i swear to god ive never done all this before....anyways a request to you...please please please always be happy and dont ever cry...i wont even get to know if u cry or not but just for me , a sweet frnd of urs..dont ever cry...cause ure a very innocent sweet girl who deserves to be happy...and 1 more thing ill tell you...i havent seen you ever but still im very very very sure that ure a very pretty girl and ill always love u as a frind...(F)...bye

 

Thanks you very much I really do appreciate that with every part of my being. But don;t feel bad for me its part of life I realieze that everyone goes through. Life sucks sometimes but its amazing most other times. And I really really apperciate your kind words. I hope all is well for you, and that you are happy aswell.
Thank you once again

 

I disagree. What is wrong with crying? If you don't cry, you hold things in and it can get worse.

In any case, I do also see you as a sweet girl and I went through similar things with my dad. Only lived with him til I was 9 though. Hated him for a while and then learned to forgive him and realize he is just a person with problems (the drinking)

I will also be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Thank you LuckyStripe

 

Hey Brand New Soul,
Glad things are better for you...I'll keep ya'll in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Hippietoad