this is kinda whiney,but i wrote it when i was on probation and having a hard time,i think its shitty,but i just wanted to hear someone elses opinion,here goes does anybody care if im dying does anybody care if im crying does anybody see im not the girl i used to be but im not coldhearted or cruel just cause im not another tool but surely u care right? thats why all we do is fight does anybody care if im dying do you care if im crying i know what you see when you look at me a worthless teen with foolish dreams but im not that way dont listen to what others say you dont care if im dying or how much im crying nobody cares does anybody care? no you dont so shut the fuck up!
ok,thanks for commenting,this was also one of the first poems i wrote. and yes stalk tennessee does suck,it sucks very much.
eh. one of those self centered teen angst poems. Not really a fan. Seems like every line is "I, I, I, me, me, me" which doesn't really say anything of interest to the reader. I see that you're 14, now, and feel I may have been a bit harsh. You're still pretty young; keep writing and I'm sure you'll improve.
i could see it as a song..either a good emo/ guitar melody...or a techno version, but thats just cause i'm playing techno.. and i really do think that pretty much everyone writes something simular at one point or another.. keep working at it
"and i really do think that pretty much everyone writes something simular at one point or another.." Oh, I'm sure of it. I know I did.
