Why do some people....

Use my baby as an insult if I have an opinion they don't like? I've had this happen on a few occasions here. Any other mamas had this happen? Is it because I'm not a married mama? Or just simply because some people don't have a heart? It just hurts my feelings, I guess.

 

people are assholes, and when stupid and uninspired, they go for the one thing that they know will hurt. i've been insulted through my children a few times, but i tend to develop bloody fangs when they do it. makes it not so much fun. i don't get hurt, i get fucking furious.

 

Yep, I'm married (although, for some reason, certain misgynists think I couldn't be.) and I get that. "Breeder" or "Breeder bitch." Is one of my favorites. I've gotten that one, even in PUBLIC, a few times when I was out with my entire brood. Nice.

People will use whatever they want to hurt you, usually something they think will HURT. You love your baby, so insulting the fact that you are pregnant makes ill people feel like they got something over on you. Sick, if you ask me.

 

Oh yeah...I remember one person in particular...on this forum and in email completely going to town on me for the fact that I was 19 and pregnant, so obviously uneducated and just some sort of welfare-whore...

But hon, just ignore the people that try to put you down. Those are the people that will tear down your parenting style, your lifestyle, your character if you let them, until you doubt whether or not you're good enough to be alive...don't let them do it...they're not worth it.

 

Thanks, ladies.
You made me realize that people will just say it because they know it bothers me. It makes them the bad person. And, I'm going to try to not let it bother me.

 

yeah, remember that shit they taught you in kindergarten?
they weren't lying

just ignore them

PS what a fucked up thing of them to do

 

Yeah, you have to try to let it not get to you.....
I had lots of crap like that happen...
Once i was in Safeway and saw 2 people I used to go to school with who were dating, one of which used to be a friend of mine....they saw me, pointed and laughed.
Another time in walmart, the cashier I was going through said, "I really hope you're over 18." (by this point I was quite pregnant).... I also have tons of people tell me that I look like I'm 14 (grrrr), but still....that was damn rude.
You should see the looks I get when I go out with Leane.
I was actually at another Safeway with my mom at christmas and she was pushing Leane. I don't know if it was because I had pigtails in my hair or what, but one of the sample clerks there who hand out food said, "I'd better not give you any, I don't want to spoil you appetite. Now be good you guys or you won't get anything in your stocking." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to scream!!!!!!!!!! #%^**^%$%^%$$%$@!!#!!!!!!!

 

I tend to get attitude a lot from "older" mothers out in public. I look very young for my age and get a lot of stares when I go out with my three children, dirty looks, things like that. Oh well, it doesn't bother me like it once did. I figure it's just jealousy anyway, because the people that are doing the staring and rude looks with little babies younger than mine in their arms look to be twice my age anyway, and I love it how their mouths drop when I say I'm pushing 28.

Oh and you should have seen how rude people were to me when I was expecting my oldest son, even though I was 21 years old and married. It was ridiculous. I used to get so upset over it, so hurt. I spent many days in tears after facing obnoxious comments and looks from people who just had no manners whatsoever.

Don't let it get to you. Hold your head high and just ignore it. They're not worth it.

{{{Hugs}}}

 

What the hell?That really happens to you guys?What's wrong with people?So many teeny little minds out there,I reckon.

 

vhnjvbh

 

Exactly. My husband and I wanted to have a family at a younger age. It seems crazy how some people will look down on you because of that fact. Besides, age cannot always predict good parenting.

 

It wasn't you. Believe me, I've learned to take everything you say with a laugh and just move on. I don't think you've ever even made a comment on my being pregnant. If you did....I'd so cyber-kick your butt.

I hate when I get those 'You're so young....you should have waited' comments. I'd like to be young enough to play with my baby while she's little and I'm still able.
I guess some people just don't get the love a mother has until that person has a baby. (I now totally get it when my mom said "One day, you'll realize what I mean when I say I love you more than anyone.")

 

i'm 30, and i still get the stares and comments. people assume i'm younger because i sound younger, look younger, and i guess i must act pretty young, too.

 

I have the opposite situation,I am an older mom with one very young kid and one older kid. People seem to think it's ok to make jokes about how my son must be an "accident". People say things to others because they have insecurities going on with in themselves. It's hard but try to just not take that stuff to heart. Also remember who knows what kind of pain is behind the mean things people say, remember when somebody is a big asshole they are probably hurting badly inside. My grandmother was always saying mean terrible judgemental things about everyone, and I learned later on that she had been through a lot of physical and sexual abuse in her childhood. It's a sad world,man.

 

That actually made me laugh.

 

That's terrible.

I just don't see why it's such a bad thing for a younger woman or older woman to be pregnant. It seems people nowdays look down on women for being pregnant.

 

At my age, I don't get the "Must have been an accident". What I get is "He sure must have been a surprise". Actually, no he was 3 long years of adoption hell, no surprise involved. The thing is people need to learn to keep their mouth's shut sometimes. We have two ears and one mouth. We need to learn to use them accordingly. No one should make comments about your age whether young or older being pregnant or having a large family. It's none of their business.

Kathi

 

Kathi - Dakota is such a beautiful little boy! He looks so huggable!!!

 

I have been on both ends of this spectrum. Got pregnant with Sunshine when I was 23 and looked about 16, got a lot of comments and that "ring finger sneak peek" from people to see if I was married. (I wasn't wearing a wedding ring then, because I was too swollen.) I had Sage at 38, and although I still look young, when I was with my older kids, people thought I was the gramma and Sunshine or Moon was the mama. Some one on this forum thought Sage was my grandchild, I guess because of my age. Despite what I look like, I don't dye my hair and have a lot of silver in it, so people may assume I'm a gramma. Not yet.

Once at some "Office Party" I had to attend with Bear, when I was pregnant with Sage, a womyn I had never even met before was standing in the circle we were in, we were talking about our other kids, their ages ect, and this woman says to me, "So, this one was reallly an accident or what?" I was so freakin hormonal, I just walked away and went into the bathroom, Bear had to send someone into the Ladies to get me out. The rudeness of some people. Most of my kids were not executively planned, but NONE of them were "accidents." Surprises maybe,(like when I got preg with Sunshine we hadn't "gotten around" to getting married yet. Big deal.) but an accident is something you don't want, and wished hadn't happened I wanted my kids, and they were not accidents.

 

When my kids come up in a conversation, people always say "I didn't know you were married" I love saying "I'm not!" I also look very young for my age. I'm 28 but could easily pass for 22. My mother also has trouble because she had Zoe at 41. She gets the accident, surprise, etc. " No, she was planned, thanks. By the way, how is this your business??" People.