I just can;t understand my self sometimes...partly cuase im a teenaager. But Im afraid of girls... Im actually scared of them. Most of them that is anyways. I have had some bad experencies from girls, that made me want to kill my self. Public school as probley all public schools (not sure) it was about who was more popular, what you ate at lunch, and who you hung out with. Well bad experence there. I was called fat constantly, I was told that I was a loser, wasn't cool enough etc etc. That was pretty hard to deal with when I was little. Then high school rolled around and Grade 9 gym was the worst. I didn't know anyone at all and I tryed to make friends but they had already decided that they hated me no matter what. Before I even spoke to them. The whole year of grade 9 even after gym I was constantly the part of some gosip (most where all lies, except for what I was wearing), hated by virtually everyone no reason that I knew of. Etc ... I moved in grde 10 and I haven't made a singal female friend out here! Im scared of them and can't help it. But I have made more guy friends. I find for me that I can be my self around guys more than girls... It seems to me they are more layed back than women. I have pretty much one female friend thats about it.(other girls that where cool I live to far from to see) I just find that the girls I met are very high matinece, self absorbed, controlling, coniving the list could go on. Im pretty sure not ever girl/women is this way. Plus its high school I know so it may be just that. But I was just wondering if anyone found this? Do you think its cause what the media subject to us each day? (I do. for most part) (Im not meaning to bash women/girls at all. AT ALL! Im sorry if it sound that way truely am! Sorry)
Girls are really really mean. Don't worry, I completely understand. Throughout my whole life, I have always made friends with guys much more quickly than girls. I never felt it was really abnormal...except when I was in 5th grade and accusing people of being gay became the big insult of the year and everyone insisted I was a lesbian because I never hung out with any girls (where's the logic?). To this day, I have maybe 5 females I really consider good friends. It's good that you've realized how bitchy girls are...it means you aren't.
wow- I am so glad I am no longer in school. I'll admit I had my own clique in highschool. But mostly because the other girls were threatened that I got along with the guys better then they did. Once you get out of school, making friends isnt much esier, but at least you aren't avoiding the bitchiest girls in school, at lunch, in class...you get the point. I've realized that after having numerous girlfriends stab me in the back, guys are so much more out front with the truth, and thats better than hanging out with girls that talk shit about you behind your back. Hang in there sweetie, life definitly goes on after highschool. And it is definitly more fun once you realize a few loyal, honest friends is better than a large amount of stupid self absorbed teenagers fighting for attention. It will get better for you I promise! Good Luck with everything, don't let others get you down!
this is how society raises girls to hate each other. It's all part of the oppression of women, I do believe with all my heart and soul. You don't have to play that game. you don't have to buy into it and make it that much worse by talking about how girls are bitches and not have any female friends. Honest. We are all sisters, and we have all been hurt by the way public schools, in particular, and society in general perpetuates the sentiment that somehow females are inferior in every way to males. You can be friends with girls, maybe not the idiots who can't realize the oppression they are perpetuating, though. Be a good honest friend to a good honest person, and you will find a friend for life.
(((((((((((((((Brand New Soul)))))))))))) I am sorry you got so hurt. A lot of smart people get shit on in middle school. Let me tell you, the kids who have the "best times of their life" in Jr High or High School are just pathetic when they are adults. I have been to 10 year and 25 year HS reunions. All the hippys, nerds ect are doing great. All the "cool" kids are having plastic surgery, have been married 15 times, are still dressing like they are 14 years old, and, even while NOT at the reunions, the only thing they talk about is shit like "that one football game in 78, remember. when Jen Petcrocowski got tackled by the quarterback while she was cheering on the sidelines?" (Uh, no. I have a life......AAren't we 44 years old?) Yeah, I had fun in the 70s, but I have a life now, too. Things will get better in High School, as the kids mature. By the time you are in college, or in your late teens, all the jerks will have fallen by the wayside and you'll do great. You are a great girl!
Soul, I hear you. I go to public schools, and I know it's hell. Girls are catty. If you do find a good girl-friend, you're lucky. Boys are the ones to stay with, I've learned. Best of luck, if you need to chat, PM me anytime. ~Jo
Thanks guys.. reading all this has brightend my day Thanks for not making me feel alone about this Your such wonderful people! (hugs for all of you) Thanks again! Best wishes Shannon
I was really lucky -- I went to a public high school, but it was huge, so there were really too many people for there to be any specific popular group, and even the more popular kids had better things to do than torment the less "cool" kids. Once you get out of high school, especially if you go to a larger state school, you'll find the same sort of thing. With so many people around, you'll still find the catty girls, but you'll also find more girls like you. And, as more of your peers mature, you'll get to know some of the formerly catty girls and learn that it has more to do with their own insecurities, making themselves feel better by convincing themselves they're better than someone, even if that means making up nasty stories about that someone... I used to be the girl who only hung out mostly with guys, too. I didn't really know any cool girls. Even when I wasn't assuming they were mostly bitchy, I didn't hang out with them because I like to do more than go to the mall, play with make up, and gossip about other girls. But, when I did finally find some female friends who actually have hobbies in common with me, it was really rewarding. Now, my best friends are all women, though I still have plenty of male friends. There are just some things that it's better to talk to a fellow woman about because of shared experience. So don't write off friendship with women just because you've had bad experiences in high school. Most people in high school (in my experience at least) are just trying to get by without caving in upon themselves because of insecurity and lack of self esteem.
Girls can be mean. I was an absolute dork in school. Really. I was in marching band, chorus, on the newspaper . . . I won't torture you with the full list. And there were girls who made fun of me, talked about me behind my back, etc. But you know what? They weren't bad people. They were small-minded and scared. Afraid they'll lose their so-called "friends" if they don't act like everyone else and pick on whoever is the scapegoat of the school this week. I can only say "ditto" to much that's been said here. I went to my ten-year reunion, and it was amazing. Dorks turned into doctors with really hot wives, popular girls turned into very sad, divorced EMTs, jocks turned into amiable husbands/fathers. What you are (or what people see you as) in school means nothing. School is about trying on costumes: I was a "smart girl" and a "funny girl" in school. But what I really was is what I am: smart, funny, friendly, encouraging, loyal, questioning. And so are you. And I swear to God, there are other girls at your school just like you. Have you been turning a blind eye to somebody you think is un-cool? Is there a weirdo at the lunch table that even you ignore? You'd be amazed who she really is. Not that guys aren't good friends to have. Keep them too!
As you can tell, Shannon, you're not alone. Women are not the enemy as mamaboogie stated. They are rude and unfeeling to you, but you know that. You see them for the poor, uneducated individuals that they are, but don't hate them, please don't hate them. They are victims of our society as you stated earlier. When they get older they may realize their mistakes, but that doesn't matter as much as you realizing their mistakes and becoming a stronger person for it. If you need more help dealing with this we are here for you. Good luck.
Thanks again to everyone . Believe I do not hate the girls who have treated me like ...nothing. Theres good in everyone ...some where. And they are sooo not the enemy, because if they where Id be my own enemy and probley my worst. And I understand what you are saying, all of you. Thanks all of you
no worries. i was terrified of teenaged girls, too. come to think on it, i still kinda think they're the devil. times are just as hard for them as anyone else, but they use their female powers for evil. at least for a while
When I was in high school, I basically told all the girls to fuck off (except for a select few) because we were SO DIFFERENT, and thats the truth. I knew I was different, so I concentrated on OTHER things, like hanging out with guys, or whatever. I had a few good mama friends, but I felt like I could relate more to guys, just because the girls were so high-maintence, and worried about where their clothes were coming from and shit. I mean, god I get my clothes outta thrift stores, dumpsters, salvation army, what the fuck ever... so I could obviously tell that I wasn't the same as them, and I was PERFECTLY fine with that. I dyed my dreads rainbow colored for prom, and wore a shitty overalls outfit thing... and went with all my guy friends, and got wasted... when all the other girls wouldn't dance, I was out there shakin' my thang. Accept who you are, and let your PHREAK FLAG UNFURL!!!!
I know how you feel. From a fairly young age, I decided that makeup, slutty cheap clothing, obsessing over boys and top 20 dance music wasn't for me. I think part of the reason that I was still able to be friends with some of the popular girls was because I was a gossip sponge for these girls. For some reason they felt that I wouldn't tell anyone their secrets. And I never really did, mostly because their secrets were dumb and pointless to tell. But a few of them hated me for some reason, but those were the girls that everyone secretly hated, so I didn't really care. It was actually the boys who went to that school that drove me off the wall, I got teased because of my hearing loss, my non-preppy/skater style, and for playing sports. They threw ice balls at me in the winter and junk food at me in the spring. And the school did pretty much nothing when I told them about what was happening. When I got sick of that high school and being called a lesbian/fag/queer/retard, I switched to a better school where everyone seemed to get a long and cliques didn't really exist. I met like minded people who played instruments, read zines, listened to punk, rode bicycles and didn't use me as a sponge. The best thing I've ever done. My message to any high school girls out there. There are awesome people out there who might not be into everything you're into, but give them a chance. And life after highschool, while different, is pretty good (or at least I think it is).
