What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? With a drum machine, you only have to punch the information in once. What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool. How do you tell if a drummer is knicking at your door? The knock slows down. What do you call a hot tub full of drummers? Vegetable soup. These can be applied to other stereotypically slow musicians, like violists or trombonists.
sorry-dont know any jokes but did discover a paradiddle can have quite an effect when applied lightly to the clitoris - once you've learned to play it with two fingertips at varying speeds - just an observation really
Question: What does a stripper do with her asshole every night before she goes to work? Answer: Drops him off at band practice.
bass player joke Man buys his teen-age son an electric bass and some lessons.After the first lesson,he asks how it went. "It was cool," says the son,"I learned the first four notes on the E string." The next week he comes home and the father asks him about the lesson. "Yeah,it was good.We worked on the first four notes on the A string." Third week,same deal,this time the D string. On the fourth week,the son doesn't come home until 3 in the morning,and he smells like beer and cheap perfume. His father tries not to lose his temper as he asks him what happened. "Oh,sorry,Dad.I didn't make the lesson.I had a gig."
Ad it was a terrible gig too! I had no idea what I was doing with the G string. Thankfully, she led the way once she realized I didn't know what to do.
hey, bass jokes! i play bass... anyways heres some more If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to change it, and the other four to stand around and talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it! "Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a drummer." His mother scoffs and replies... "Well, you can't do both."
haha bassplaya, i've never heard the mother one, that was good! here's a trumpet joke, because i despise trumpet players what's the difference between a sea gull and a trumpet? one is annoying and the other is a bird
I fill time between songs at gigs with jokes at the expense of the player needing the time onstage for whatever, and have gotten a few laughs at the drummers expense at times. How many drummers to change a light bulb? Three - one to hold the bulb and two to spin the drumstool How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? None, we have machines for that now Guy treks thru the jungle, and hears drums in the distance. He asks his guide who says only "drum stop - very bad". Next day the drums are louder, again he asks, and gets the same reply. On day three the drums are very loud, and he asks yet again, only to hear the same answer "drum stop - very bad". "But what happens if the drums stop?!" he says, demanding to know. His guide answers simply "bass solo" And I dont only pick on drummers... Whats the difference between a frog in a cab and a horn player in a cab? The frog may be on his way to a gig What does a soprano/lead singer do first thing in the morning? Looks for her instrument How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb? One, because the world revolves around them How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? none, they just move over into the bassists light If you throw a singer and a violin off a cliff at the same time, which lands first? The violin, because the singer has to stop halfway for directions How many jazz players does it take to change a light bulb? None, jazz players dont need light bulbs, and cant afford them anyway Whats the difference between a bull and an orchestra? A bull has its asshole in back
