Underneath a pale full moon, I dance and twirl to my Mother’s tune Of wind and whispered secrets kept— Of dreams untold and tears unwept— Of dipping sparrows and singing frogs— Of branches stretching and rotting logs. In this glen of sheltered oak, I strip of gown and shoe and cloak To sway beneath my Mother’s light— Naked in Her starlit night. Dancing blindly, moving fast, Release has found me here at last. I close my eyes and move my hips. I feel Her brushing fingertips. “Caress and hold me, Mother, please! Bring me crashing to my knees! Open wide my heart and mind— Take me gentle, make me kind!” She is my mirror, She is my truth— She makes me old, She gives me youth— She takes away my hurt and shame— She takes, too, regret and blame— She leaves me pure and innocent, Beneath Her oaks, asleep and spent.
I really like this, its beautiful and has a great rhythm to it. I totally understand the feeling you're expressing
I loved the rhymes you used, I'm guessing this was about a goddess of paganism? this was my favorite passage: In this glen of sheltered oak, I strip of gown and shoe and cloak To sway beneath my Mother’s light— Naked in Her starlit night. Dancing blindly, moving fast, Release has found me here at last.
*blush blush* tanks so much for your kind replies everyone! they are very much appreciated. and Jack, yes. i wrote this about the Lady Herself. tee hee tanks again!!
this too, makes me want to bask in the moonlight, and 'cause it all to make me shudder, and move and groooove, babe.
My God! This is astoundingly good, absolutely perfect, never change a thing about it. Not only is it well written, with good rhyme, rhythm, and flow, but what you're saying truly speaks to the heart. (funny too, because the day before you wrote/posted this, I was a bit drunk and was dancing on my front lawn, and though the night was cool I'd taken my shirt off. I must have looked quite the fool but it was fun and felt right).
you all humble me with your kind words. if you could see me now... you'd see the blush... thank you all, ever so much, especially to you, Trippin. i do believe you lavish me with compliments far surpassing my meager talent. i bow to you all, and thank you once again.
You are very talented. Your poem has a very nice flow. The words reach in and grab you. It has strength.
inspirational, a 'stream' of words that flowed just as simple. A very touching and beautiful write! Bonsai
oh, one more thing... have you ever thought of putting your poetry together in a folksy booklet type thing, to sell some copies and maybe make yourself a little extra cash?.... I can visualize your poetry like that, add some handdrawn illustrations ...... I think that would be nice!
