Have You Ever

wanted someone you didn't know and who didn't want you? You wanted them, needed them so badly that the thought of them consummed you almost whole. You try to think of other things but you feel yourself thinking about them more than anything else.

 

only you......

 

I'm Sorry Bellfire...You're just so Beautiful to Me...

I Can't Help myself...

Your Name is Scrawled Over Every Page...

 

Yes..

And remaining their good online friend can be torture.

I've been so tempted to post my story here, along with help on how to deal with the jealousy, but things have always worked themselves out..

Thankfully, the intensity of my feelings fluctuates quite rapidly, and when it hurts, it rarely hurts for long. It doesmake me do stupid things, and Push instead of pull the person towards me.. We fight for no reason (from an outside point of view at least), but we also have a friendship older than my feelings.

Even now, with my feelings under control, it always hurts a little. Because I have to keep kicking myself when I can sense the sheer intensity coming back.

 

Well I Could Ramble on for a Good Many Pages About Becki...

But Talking About Her Does Not make it Easier...Still in Denial...After a Year...

 

And readers? My real name IS NOT Becki..

Although it's quite a story we share, xmudpuudle and I.

At the time, we never know how, or even believe, we will will ever get over these types of loves.. And wanting to hold on to the good times doesn't always make it happy memory when we get out at the other side of those feelings.

Why "distance" freindships hold this much power over us is a complete mystery to me, and I guess I'm suffering through the third of such intense love affairs.

Ok I'm rambling....

 

Please do I promise I won't poke fun at you. I'm really serious.

 

*Hides*

 

Have I just replied to something of yours on a different thread xmudpuddle?

Strange, I'd never even come acrosss your name before today!

Don't suppose you fancy starting an intense online friendship with me, despite what's been said about them?


No, I thought not

 

It's mudpuddle for Crying Out Loud...

mudpuddle...

m-u-d-p-u-d-d-l-e...

MUDPUDDLE!

I Had to Call myself xmudpuddle as 'mudpuddle' Account was Banned...X.x

The x means Nothing...It Isn't There...It Cannot Exist...

 

yes.. maybe things will pick up where they left off plus we're on the same land mass (always a good thing)


and then yes again (second lightening strike).. but he is making it easier for me not to like him as much with his inconsitances in his stories, and besides we're not on the same land mass and neither one of us can cross the water right now

 

How would I know that!

Just came across you for the first time tonight..

Well, I dont think I want to fall in love with YOU, that's for sure!

 

You're so ANNNOYING!

Go Die by a Level 2 Goblin Again or Something...

Lose Every item I Gave to You...

Go in the Complete Opposite Direction When I Call to You...

 

you're so cute when you're angry

 

When you find yourself wanting someone after just 2 weeks it's physical isn't it?

 

Don't laugh but you may be right. I love his intelligence and his sensitivity.

 

chemical.. hormones?

 

lol roflmao!

 

Maybe I'll make myself bored of him by watching him so much.

 

i think the old cajun man would say "obsession?"