The most ridiculous/funniest phrases a girl/boy tried to lay you with?

e.g.Hey Baby here's 10 Cents.Now call your mom and tell her you won't come home tonight or It's soooooo coooold in here.............................

 

have you got any welsh in ya?........ would you like some?

 

ok...imagine this....kisisng and groping a chick all wild and she looks you in the eye and says, " I want your man juice"....hehe...i started laughing immediately...lol...i thought that was funny as hell.....

 

Once some guy came to me in a bar and he started singing Bryan Adams' song that goes like "The only thing that looks good on me is you..." It cracked me up.

 

my little sister has this friend danielle, who is very cute and very flirty. i myself am quite flirty and we've had a chat before about how when we flirt it's all in good fun and how neither of us really want anything from eachother...okay, so anyways

she asked me to give her a back massage one day as i was just heading out. she said she would do anything for it... hehe...i didnt take her up on the offer, but when i got back from the store i started giving her the massage. after about 20 minutes she was pretty relaxed and i was just finishing up, when i said, "wow, you had a lot of kinks in your back but i think i worked most of them out. are there any kinks in your vagina you need attended to?"

i thought that was pretty cheesy.

 

I was at a concert and this chick just grabbed me and said "I really wanna fuck you." I was shocked and offeneded. So after it was over I told her that it was fun but meant nothing.

 

well my girlfriend uses some pretty good ones on me. And being that she's my girlfriend they normally work. Some we use on eachother are:

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

I lost my teddy bear can I sleep with you?

Nice sandels wanna fuck?

 

lmao that's funny

 

hmm... i guess it was like... i 've been wanting you like the sun wants the flower. i cant understand that phrase so i considered it dumb.

 

here are some i've used....rarely seriously

i'll give a nickel if you tickle my pickle
hey, look, it's rosie o'donnell, heh....wanna fuck?
you're a broom, can i sweep with ye?
aww, what a cute kitty, i'm sure my weiner dog and it will be really good friends...

needless to say, im a virgin.

 

ha hoo. um.. dont worry it ll be more special the longer you wait.

 

my ex tried this : i love you... uhh wanna have sex?
i refrained from laughing and just said "no im saving it for someone specail" hehehe
(fyi: i had never had sex with that particular kid)

 

**after a barfight** "I knew I was hit on the head, though I didn't think I died and went to heaven, but I'm surely seeing an angel"

"would you be offended if I asked you to swallow my future children?"

"ohhh, baby you so fine, I wanna make you mine... for tonight anyway"

"awww suga, you so sweet I wanna eat you up"

"you have the most amazing breasts I have ever seen"

and the best one, the one that worked on me(probably because I was 3 sheets to the windand higher then a kite)....

"I'm a virgin"

 

hahahahahaha! i think that's hilarious.

 

I thought that one was funny to, I'm now dating the guy that said that to me, after 3 months of friendship, and I found out that he read it on a shot glass the day he said it to me.

 

That was from the movie 'Knights Tale' when they were writing the letter.
Good movie.

How about:
Let's get something straight between us.
Let's play carnival, sit on my face and I'll guess your weight
If you woke up in a tent with a condom in your butt would you tell anybody?
No? Wanna go camping?

 

Good one when you're already married is :

-Hey baby here's your Alka Seltzer!

*But I don't have a headache!

-Well,then!Let's fuck!:$