Ferber took it back.

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by HippyFreek2004, May 22, 2006.

  1. HippyFreek2004

    HippyFreek2004 changed screen name

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  2. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    ha! nya nya!
     
  3. Stillravenmad

    Stillravenmad Member

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    Of course he did. He'll sell more books this way.
     
  4. cynical_otter

    cynical_otter Bleh!

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    He finally woke up and realized what an idiot he was, eh?
     
  5. nimh

    nimh ~foodie~

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    what's scary is that all of his previous editions are still out there.
     
  6. Sage-Phoenix

    Sage-Phoenix Imagine

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    Ooh yeah that's obviously not a marketing ploy on his part, huge coincidence he's got a new book out and all. :rolleyes:


    Suprisingly really that it only takes one guy and twenty one years to so undermine something that has evolved and suited humanity for centuries. It is natural for parents to cosleep, which is why it happens so much in face of this absurd taboo and paranoia.

    In England there has been some debate about it recently; apparently 300 babies/children a year and smothered in their sleep. Terrible yes but how many die of STDs in their own room? and how many of those deaths are causes by parents not taking safety precautions? There was a mother recently who's baby was smothered because he fell down the gap* between the matress and headboard, she usually put padding the gap but forgot one night ... it is terrible, but fact remains that was an accident waiting to happen.

    Nothing is perfect and 100% safe, but instead of being gulit tripped out of what is right for them through sweeping statements parents should be properly informed.

    *matress for a double bed, used in the frame of king sized bed.
     
  7. hummblebee

    hummblebee hipstertist.

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    Like, get a co-sleeper or something, and if you or your partner are inebriated one night, don't put the child in bed with you! DUH!.... What I think is scary is that, even if he did have a complete change of heart, he still seems to have no remorse for all the many (thousands?) children over the years who's emotional torture he aided in....
     
  8. homeschoolmama

    homeschoolmama Senior Member

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    :lol Guess there's still hope, huh? It's good to know he's finally coming 'round. I see this as a HUGE step for him... and parents all over the US :)
    love,
    mom
     
  9. barefoot_kirstyn

    barefoot_kirstyn belly flop

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    Damn, you beat me to it....I saw this on TV yesterday.
    I laughed and pulled my mom downstairs and said, "see, even the lord of the cry-it-out method says our way is best!!!!!!!" she scuffed at me, but i thought that it was great...
    i didn't hear about the new book, though. At least it's more in our favour now and more parents who are devout ferberizers may come around to our way of thinking.
     
  10. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

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    He retracted this stuff a few years ago, BUT his original book is still in print. What a jerk. You are correct, he has NO remorse for all the bonding between mothers and babies he destroyed and none for all the psychological and physical damage he did to children.

    Of course, when someone takes the "advice" from a book like this and something horrible happens, like a baby stops breathing or chokes on vomit, because Ferber or Ezzo told them NOT go into the room, then they say, "Well, our advice should be taken with with a dose of common sense for the situation." Jerks.
     
  11. Boogabaah

    Boogabaah I am not here

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    i know i'm not the only person that actually feels pain when i hear a child crying.. especially my own


    my kids still sleep in the bed with me.. all 3 of them

    i wouldn't have it any other way..

    i've noticed they don't sleep as well alone
     
  12. hummblebee

    hummblebee hipstertist.

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    When I used to do childcare at a church, I actually had several parents tell me to leave their child crying for as long as I could. The idea of it makes me sick, and I made it clear to them that while they were under my care I would be attentive to them, whether they were crying or not. I mean christ, who lets a two-year-old who misses mommy set off a whole room of babies anyway!?

    I grew up in a family bed environment, and I loved it. My parents always welcomed me when I wanted to be there and loved me when I wanted my own space. And oddly enough, I'm still REALLY close to both of them, and my younger brother who was right there with me (but not-so-close to my other siblings who had "grown out of it" by the time I could remember... Wonder if theres a connection there?) Honestly, I can't even imagine any other way of experiencing my early childhood - and that makes me happy! :)
     
  13. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    the way i was raised and the way my younger siblings were raised is a world of difference. when i was very young, my parents were in a very bad place. they were still there when my little sis was born, but she was always welcome in my bed, as was my baby brother. mom was unconscious anyway, not like she'd know. it think it worked miracles for their own sense of security. they're bold adventurers, the both of them. by the time i was out of the house and my parents were outta their bad place, co-sleeping was a given. instincts are good.
     
  14. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

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    You're not. I feel physical pain when I hear a child cry. Especially if it is a poor baby in their damn car seat in the shopping cart, and their mother is right there and refuses to pick the baby up.


    When Sunshine was little she used to yell, "Pick that baby up!" or she or Moon would say, "Baby crying. you have to nurse her." She was a big help! ;)

    I did child care at a park district, and I would always bring the babies to their mamas in exersize class. Most of the mamas were nursing, never complained, they just sat down and fed their babies. None of the bottle feeding moms ever complaind either, they would just feed their babies as well. But my boss was always complaining that I was "interupting" the class by bringing the babies in. Told him I refused to let a baby cry, and he had hired someone with a background in Child Development for a reason, hadn't he?

    A few times as a post partum doula a mother would tell me to let a child cry. I always refused, as did the other doulas I worked with. Seeing as these mothers were under the impression that taking care of their own children after childbirth was a phyical impossibility (Princess Complex Mothers) they had to let us pick up the babies. Some of these mamas actually learned this was the best way! Some of them went from Princess Complex Mothers to actual MAMAS! (And of course, a few didn't. They hired full time nannies (most of these womyn did not work outside the home) when we could no longer provide doula service for them.)
     
  15. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

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    KC, thank heaven for you. You did a world of good for your little sister and brother. :)
     
  16. Kastenfrosch

    Kastenfrosch Blaubeerkuchen!! Lifetime Supporter

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    If I hear a child crying, I always feel pain. I want to hold them and comfort them. I just never had the courage. (Except if I knew the kid, and they often refuse my comforting, because they want THEIR MAMA)
     
  17. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    to be honest, i needed them, too.
     
  18. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

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    Aw. (((((((((((KC))))))))) Thank God you three were there for each other.

    I hope you are all healing. You are doing a great job as a mama, KC. :)
     
  19. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

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    heh. most times i think i do a barely tolerable job. but i thought to myself, why do we give children teddy bears and things to cuddle with if we think they're supposed to sleep alone?
     
  20. Kinky Ramona

    Kinky Ramona Back by popular demand!

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    After being locked in a closet every morning for months by a cruel babysitter, I don't think I could ever abandon my child when he or she was crying. When friends who had two babies of their own threw a birthday party for my boyfriend, they let the babies stay out and "party" with the rest of us, but when it got late, they put them in their rooms. The oldest, almost 2, Brandon, went to bed without a problem, but the baby (10 months at the time) screamed her little head off. Their method of dealing with that was turning up the music and yelling at her to shut up and go to sleep. I really disagree with that and thought maybe had they turned the music down or off altogether, Madison might not have cried and could have slept. Poor baby. It was funny, though, one of our friends that was there, too, kept going in and getting her and sure enough, when she had someone warm to cuddle up to, the crying would cease and she'd fall asleep.

    I don't understand how anyone can just let a baby cry, babies have needs, too. I've always needed physical contact, I get this weird ache if that need's not fulfilled. I was a cuddly child, even though my younger brother and I had seperate rooms, oftentimes we shared a bed when we were little (I remember one time, one Christmas Eve, he threw up in my hair when we were asleep, lol). I'm still really cuddly now, lol. I'm so glad I got over my fear of initiating physical contact with a boyfriend because I always felt so empty until now and now I get to cuddle all the time. And I'm excited about getting pregnant eventually and having a baby of my own to cuddle...lol.
     
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