Do men really want sex 24/7? I'd argue with that.

she had a busy schedule and a lack of sex drive ....and the whole thing was actually causing her more issue then me....

 

Wow, I can sort of relate. I am so glad school is over for a while.

 

my drives higher- but really, our relationship isnt about that so it doesnt even matter. i know, im like 16 so who cares, but yea.

 

my husband used to say he wanted it at least once or twice every single day... until we were trying to get pregnant and actually doing it that often. the idea of sex every day is more appealing than the actual reality of it.


The pressure to have sex on a regular basis is often a really big turn-off, for men and for women alike. I know the more my husband talks about wanting sex, the less I want it nowadays. Having kids changes everything. I thought marriage changed everything, but those changes were nothing compared to the changes children brought!

 

I have a much higher sex drive than my fiance does normally...When we first got together, I was wanting it all of the time and he just didn't want it that often.

However, I've started to see past quantity to the quality of the time spent intimate.

Whenever he and I would/do make love, we usually devote...hell...half the day to intimacy. Usually, he's the one initiating the time and it's beautiful.

If I forced the issue, we might have sex more often but it would just be empty sex. I'm happy with once or twice a week if he's going to be all gung-ho turned on by it...

 

Sex, 24/7?

Sounds like a winner to me.

 

yes.

 

If I may speak from personal experience and observation, a couple of factors may be at work in your dilemna.

First, at the start of a relationship, the libidos of both partners may be heightened as infatuation certainly can stir the hormonal stew so to speak. As the relationship matures, one or both partners sex drives may decrease as no ones pot can boil at full steam forever. Both partners will eventually reduce to a simmer, but unfortunately that rarely happens at the same time.

Second, age differences may also play a part as well.

While girls generally begin and advance through puberty faster than boys, their libido starts it's rise much more gracefully reaching it's apex from around their early to mid 20's. The apex may sustain well into their late twenties and beyond.

Boys start a little slower into and through puberty. Their libido, however starts up at full speed just about the time they discover that their morning erection actually does something other than make it hard to pee. It reaches it's apex rapidly sustains well through the end of puberty and into the mid to late twenties.


One thing I have observed in myself as I have aged is that my engines are no longer red lining, I am certainly not at idle either. I'd say it hit cruise control at a sustained reasonable speed. Yet I have found as I have aged, while I used to equate sex and intimacy in my youth, I have come to realize that there is a distinct difference and many times may actually prefer sensuality over sexuality. I may want to hold the or touch or kiss the woman I am with. I may want to get even more intimate, without getting sexual. A couple of previous girlfriends have in the past subconsciouslly interpreted a kiss on the nape of her neck or a senual caress as a signal to become aroused. At that point, if my hands or lips happened upon any erogenous zone what was senual for me became very sexual for them. One partner in particular was, at the time about 24 to my 28 so the age difference wasn't that great.

I would suggest that you communicate with your partner and find out their perspective and be sure to communicate your own. Perhaps you may reach a level that is satisfying for you both sensually and sexually.




May the face of every good news and the back of every bad news be towards you!

-Lemm

 

I've had the same issue with my boyfriend. The fact that he's 23 and I'm 19 may have something to do with it, our sex drives are at different levels, but it's really weird to have a guy that doesn't constantly want in my pants. And because of the way stupid society has made my brain start feeling, I sometimes get really self-conscious and bummed out when he doesn't want it. I know, though, stress is definitely a buzzkill without a doubt. When he was working at a job he hated, he was always grumpy and never really wanted to do much of anything. When he got sick and got a week off last fall, he was on me all the time. Lemme tell you, if it was possible to live honestly and healthy without working, I think it would be great for both of us, but I guess that's just a fantasy...

Anyway, don't feel bad...maybe you just got "lucky" and found one of those rare guys who actually doesn't see sex as that important.

 

there is nothing i would want to do 24 hours a day besides breathe

 

Now there's a good point

 

I have a higher sex drive than my boyfriend. It used to cause big fights in the beginning of our relationship. 5 years later, it isn't as important to me. If I'm horny I just take care of myself when he isn't in the mood. Easy as that. It isn't his fault he isn't in the mood. And there is no point in making him feel badly about it and I certainly wouldn't want to break up with my love just because I was horny. LOL.

Good Luck.

 

^I can agree with that. But I think we're talking about very different levels here - to the point of one partner feeling like they really are missing something, unwanted, unloved or whatever it is. If the appetites were very different, for me, I regard it as if I was into something he was not or vice versa. One (maybe even both) are not being satisfied.

Perhaps to some people sex and feeling horny is a trivial matter. To others it's sharing of a different kind and just as vital in a relationship as trusting, as communication, as open affection etc etc. - whatever makes a relationship a relationship.

It may seem like a stupid reason to break up over for some but unfortunately I have been in that position. While we didn't break up because of that itself, it definitely put a strain on the relationship, added to other misunderstandings and general resentment towards each other which in the end led to the split. This doesn't mean it's that way for other couples, only that it ended this way in my case.

In all, I would say the sexual appetite and libido DOES play a significant role.

 

It does play a significant role, that is why it is a topic of arguement for many couples (nope you're not the only one). And I didn't mean to suggest that it was a stupid reason to break up, it isn't if that is what you feel you should do. Perhaps that is what is meant to be. I was just saying that I wouldn't break up with my boyfriend for our slight problem that we had in the beginning of our relationship. And I too viewed it as he didn't love me, want me or trust me, but all in all after so many arguements we did figure out that none of that was true. It really was a matter of hormones and he still loved me and wanted me and everything else that our relationship was based on, he just was not as horny as I was back then. But of course if you have tried other routes, like talked to your partner and explained your feelings and you have both tried to work on things individually and as a couple and you still decide that it is a deal breaker then by all means, find someone you are more compatible with. No point in being unhappy in a relationship when there are plenty of men out there who could be just right for you.

Just so you know though, our sex life has improved because I stopped resenting him for having a lower sex drive and I didn't pressure or guilt him as much so he started to actually want to have sex more. And I think my sex drive may have dropped just a bit since we've been together so long and I feel secure knowing that I could theoretically have sex whenever I wanted to (not exactly, but for the most part).

And by the same token I did get divorced from someone who never wanted to have sex (and wasn't good at it anyway, so its a good thing he didn't subject me to that nonsense). So I do know what you mean. It wasn't all about sex, but it made me want other people and in that it made me realize how much of a loser my ex really was in all areas and how there were really great guys out there for me, which in turn lead to me filing for divorce.

I really don't know what else to tell you though. I would say good luck, but that kinda doesn't really seem like it is going to be much help to you.

 

I am the same way. I always like to have sex and my boyfriend is just like okay. When I love someone, I always want to share intimate moments with them. I am always horny and he appears to never be until I get him in the mood.