Dear Me, I decided that I should write you a letter since we never talk any more. It makes me feel like I don't even know you any more. We used to be so close, and I always find myself thinking of those intimate nights we spent together. Remember that time we did it in the bathroom stall at your job? Then there was the time in the movie theater, in the back row. Never mind that, let us talk about something on a happier level. I hear you're almost off of house arrest. I can't believe you made it a whole 90 days. I really thought you would fuck something up. I mean you fuck a lot of things up; don't get upset as I'm not the only one that feels this way, lately. I mean, let's be honest, you're the only guy I know that has had a wet dream and woke up their nephews rocking horse. Well I guess that's all I have for now. I'd say I hope to hear back from you, but you never have anything good to say anyway. I'm rich biietch!!!! Peace, loser.
Dear Me, If you're reading this, it means I'm dead.. It's sad that you didn't come to my rescue in time, but there's still hope. You can still save Mankind, if you're brave enough to endure the task ahead. There is a cache of old weapons hidden in a vault deep underground, with whih you must defend the Earth from alien insurgants... Most of the guns have been out of action for awhile and shouldn't be used.. Some are ok though.. PLEASE don't use the dodgy ones as they shoot the bullets in the opposite direction.. Backwards... Good Luck with your mission God Bless Mankind
Dear Chris, What happend to you? you just suddenly stopped talking to me and got really lazy and out of shape. yea yea, i know about the knee surgery and all, but you should have came to me, i could have helped you out. i am glad that you have decided to get back in shape though, i'm looking forward to more and more tough workouts. you know i love the pain, the sweat, the blood and all that fun shit. hopefully you stick with it this time, you seem to be doing an awesome job so far. now, school...theres somethign wrong. come on, out with it, you can tell me. whats going on there? sometimes you need to ask for help, no shame in that. take the summer, figure out what you want and where you want to go. everything will work out in the end. well, enjoy your summer, and i'm looking forward to your next workout, so we can beat our body up even more take it easy bud
This is my letter to the world, That never wrote to me,— The simple news that Nature told, With tender majesty. Her message is committed To hands I cannot see; For love of her, sweet countrymen, Judge tenderly of me!
Dear Pedro, Remember the other day when you said you loved yourself? Well the reason is because of your massive hunk of sausage. You can't imagine how much looking at it in the mirror turns me on. You should really become the next John Holmes. I know you are quite shy, but its ok. sharing your massive cock with the world would make it such a better place. Love ya lots, Pedro.
Dear Lynsey, I am proud of you for taking your car to get it washed this morning-but what about the inside? It is still disgusting, that dried spot of ketchup on the drivers door has been there for about 3 years now. Do you think I don't notice? That's how it always is with you the outside looks clean and shiny and fresh and the inside is a mess-and you know we're not just talking cars here. Let's work on you and noot what others think of you....although you do have a sweet tight ass...ok enough of that the inside, repeat the inside...can I grab the ass again if we talk about the inside?...god we're so adhd OK now let's work together and get off of the computer and turn of the surreal life and go get some work done. It's been a hard year and we did awesome getting through it, we can only go up from here so let's get started on doing so. Love you and your sweet ass that looked oh so good in those yoga pants this morning, Lynsey
Dear me, Punch this retarded broad in the ovaries. I know you didn't pay attention to the gender field, but no respectable man would post such retarded nonsense. That being said we can't have lame fucks like her reproducing spreading sappy garbage for all to see. I appreciate your quick execution of the task at hand. Love, Me Ps. Kick her in the kidney for good measure as well.
Dear rg - sorry I missed your birthday - how old are you now? Who cares! Buy you a drink next time,anyway - cheers.rg
Dear me, I'm sorry I came in your eye this morning. I was just very excited and lost control. I know I've said it before, but this time I mean it when I say it won't happen again. Forever Yours, I
Dear me, This is your brain speaking. If you don't find a new doctor on monday...Self destruction, possible implosion, is imminent. Weren't those massive headaches you've been suffering through since last May enough of a warning? You keep eating those opiates to avoid our little talks, I'm going to teach you a new meaning of pain. You must take care of me, because nobody else is going to do it. Sincerely, grey matter.
