my boyfriend and his ex girlfriend????

found out today that my boyfriend still loves his ex girlfriend.... his ex girlfriend is thousand's of miles away and i know i have nothing to worry about... but he is going on holiday soon and he will be seeing her and im just scared that somthing will happen between them. he thought of her as the perfect girl... and im thinking that i'm just a replacement for her... we have already split up once already and i don't really know what to do.... i asked him about it.. but to me it seems like that he thinks about his ex alot of the time. even though he told me that happend alot time ago i don't know if i still believe him or not
i honestly don't know if i do believe him... we have been through so much together and i'm so scared that i will lose him to his ex girlfriend
but the thing is they split up over a yr ago i think... and she rejected him.. and they are best friends.

should i believe him that he don't love her anymore?

or should i just split up with him?

he has been feelin like this for about a month ago..... and last month i had a miscarriage i don't know if that had anything to do with it.

im really confused

EXTRA INFO

actually found out from a email that my bf still lovrs his ex....he keeps on tellin me that hes over her..... but i don't know what to believe..... ive tried to forget about it but in the back of my mind i still keep thinking that he still loves her....

im also scared that somthing will happen between tham we he coes on holiday in the summer...

my boyfriend tursted me to check his email for him and i saw a few emails that he had sent to his ex... and i couldn't resist so i opened it and i saw that my bf still loves his ex.... but she doesn't love him back so its just a one way thing between them.

and today we talked and he told me that nothing will happen between them when he goes on holiday. but in the back of my mind i still think somthing will happen between them.

here is some more stuff that i have found out after talking to my boyfriend.... well hes from south africa and hes going there in july to see his family and friends and he will be seeing his ex.... but the thing is... he sent me a text last night saying that he had feelings for her like over a month ago. and he doesn't have them anymore... and over a month ago while he was having these feelings i had a miscarriage......

he also told me that he didn't go out with her but his cousin did.... im really confused he then told me that he sent that email to her as a joke just to see what he would say.

i know they are best friends and i can cope wit that but its just the fact that he would even tell her that he is in love with her and that she is the perfect girl.... that is trying to say that i am nothing to him.

i don't want us to break up but i can't stand his lies. we have been going out for nine months and we have been through so much.

me getting pregnant at my age was a big mistake.... if i didn't have the miscarriage... i was going to have an abortion... i know its a horrible thing to say... but my boyfriend isn't ready for kids.. and neither am i....i am now on the pill... so hopefully it won't be happening again.

 

Honestly, this guy is lying to you. He says he didn't go out with her, but his cousin did? yet he emails her claiming to still love her, as a joke, according to him. I would never do that for a joke, no way in hell, that's just plane wrong. If I was you, I'd move on. You don't need the lies and the drama. Perhaps the miscarrage could have contributed to his feelings in some way, but if anything, he should have been there to support you, not thinking about his ex, that's just totally disrespectful.

 

he has even put a question about him loving his ex and what he should do about his feelings on yahoo questions and awnsers. that was also another way that i saw it... after i read that.. ( he knew i was reading it) he told me that he had those feelings along time ago... but then he tells me he only did it to see what people would say about it...

 

I wouldn't believe his excuse for a second. I'm sorry, but that excuse is flimsy, at best.

I'm really sorry you're goign through this...

Hope I could help.

P.S. I also saw our topic on www.lovingyou.com, a web site I go to all the time.

 

Sorry girl
You can not make him love you if he still loves his ex gf..

 

i still don't know what to do...this is really stressing me out.... ive got my exams comin up in june and that is stressing me out enough as it is.... if i break up with my bf that willstress me out even more.... i don't need the stress... my bf has exams starting on monday until the end of june and im going on holiday at the end of june and hes going on holiday a week after me so i don't know when i should talk to him about it without make more stress for both of us.

i already have to go see a counsler for various things and that is stressful talking about things that happened in the past

 

dump him and he'll feel like shit and want you back, but dont take him back cause obviously hes WAYYYY to dumb for you.

 

He's still in love with his ex....no two ways about it.
Even if she doesn't feel the same way about him, he still harbours those feelings for her. It'd be in your best interest to move on and risk yourself anymore heartache.((((((((((hugs))))))))))
Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.

 

thankyou for your your relpys... one of my bf's mates has told me that i have nothing to worry about so im going to believe him and just forget about things i'm probably just being really parnoid

 

If he is in love, then 10,000 miles wouldnt on any more good than 1 mile.

 

Honey....he LOVES someone else. Him being so far away from her isn't going to stop that. Why put yourself through a relationship with someone when you know FOR A FACT that he loves someone else?

 

moon_flower... thats the thing i don't know that he does... like i sadi before he told me he only put that question on yahoo awnsers as a joke and he only told her that her loves her as a joke so i don't know what to believe and then his mate has told me that im being parnoid so im just gonna wait a while and see if things improve and if they don't them im dumping him.

 

my boyfriend once kissed his ex... he said it was a "joke" aha, bullshit!

Can you see in anyway how this behaviour is "funny" or "joke worthy" because i can't.

Dont make my mistakes, ditch him, you'll feel better sooner than if you stay together

 

Tell him to pack up his shit for good and leave. This boy has his head screwed on backwards with nothing inside it.

He may be going through a tough time but he's stringing you on a leash and treating you like a puppet. If he hasn't the balls, I suggest you grow a couple and get rid of him.

All the best.

 

I feel for you ... one fellow I sort-of-dated would make little comments like, "Wow, you would look good as a redhead," or, "I think it would be hot if you pierced your nipples" ... turns out the girl he REALLY wanted, who is engaged to someone else, is a redhead with pierced nipples and he wanted to use me as a stand-in. When I called his bad, he said it was "just a joke" ... AHEM. No.

Never a good thing. It's true that people can't control who they love, but they should never 'use' people that they don't. Dump him for being an asshat and not appreciating what he has.

*Hug!*

 

Of course he's going to tell you it was a joke....you caught him doing shit he wasn't supposed to be joking.
I'm sure you'd believe him if you found out while on vacay he had sex with that ex girlfriend and he said it was 'just a joke'?
Please stop being naive.