My parents won't let me go.

I'm reminded of a conversation I overheard at the one national I went to... a girl about 10 or 11 or maybe even 13 or so, who had run away, and was talking to someone nearby, and the young one said something about taking acid. The person she was speaking with was absolutely appalled.

"How the hell does someone your age get ACID??!"

"Oh, we trade candy for it."

There are all sorts of dangers in running away to a gathering, especially a female that's 15. But the things that tend to happen are the things you could never really imagine to even guard against. One of your parents quite literally dying of stroke or heart attack as they fear the worst. Someone who actually HELPS you out in a bad situation but is prosecuted for it and ends up in jail. You end up in a bad auto accident. You get an a serious illness that doesn't go away, something that completely incapacitates you, but doctors can find nothing wrong (actually that happened to me at a regional).

Whatever we dream up and warn you about probably won't happen. And most likely, nothing would happen anyways. And if something did happen, it would almost certainly be on the way there, or on the way back, and not even at the gathering, though murderers and rapists have been known to attend gatherings. I doubt that there's ever a national that doesn't have at least one participant's death, either there, on the way there, or on the journey back.

It's almost certainly safer to go journeying cross-country nowadays than it was in, say, the 1960s or 70s, when the violent crime rate was much higher than today. But that's not saying much at all.

Maybe it's because I'm a parent, but I would urge you to wait. In the interim, READ. From the time I first heard of rainbow and said "WOW, I HAVE to GO!!!!," (that was 1985), until I attended my first national (1999), fourteen years passed. Three years is NOTHING. It's a snap of the fingers, time-wise.

That's just my opinion, biased perhaps because I'm a parent. Be safe. I've been safe, and I've been sorry, and I know which I prefer.

 

Well i certainly am NOT telling anybody to run away, but of course many of us did and are fine. I ran away the first time when i was 12, for two days and came home.

It is true that a 15 year old girl can get in trouble at the gathering, it is also true that anyone can get in trouble almost anywhere. The rules for not getting in trouble are the same for everybody everywhere.
Stay sober. Stick with folks who have a well established reputation. Don't be alone. Never go behind the building for any reason. Camp close enough to folks that you are not really alone, even when you are in your tent. etc.

'Someone i know' has a son who went to the gathering without his parents when he was 11. He was raised at the gathering so it seemed ok to everybody at the time. When we got there two weeks later he was sunburned so bad we sent him to calm. He was camped with three other 12-15 year old boys who he knew in kiddie village so they were not really alone. He was 'ok' but not as ok as i thought he would be.

My technique with teenagers is to NEVER alienate them. In my opinion alienating a teenager is worse than letting them experiment. I feel like they will experiment no matter what you do, and that at least if you don't alienate them you can keep a closer eye on them.
I use this technique with my own children, and everybody compliments me on how shiney and groovey and well rounded and responsible they are.

I am NOT telling you to do anything. I am telling you that my name is rastapatch, or just patch, and that i am VERY easy to find at the gathering.
IF YOU GO, time your arrival at the gathering so that you get there with plenty of daylight. Go straight through the parkinglot without stopping unless you see a sign that says welcome home. Head down the main trail and you will find me at 'welcome home camp'. If you don't find welcomehome camp continue down the main trail to INFO and ask them for patch. They will know where i am at almost any time.
There are also other well known places where you would be safe night or day. Do you like medicine and washing peoples feet? perhaps you would like CALM.

I think that perhaps you should listen to words of caution. I don't think you want to be in a three year fight with your parents. But if you do go you can call some girls i know and they will give you some contacts along the way. You could pm me (i am NOT telling you to go) and i would give you more than one girls number.

I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO GO. In fact i am a little worried about it. I am not at all worried about your experience at the gathering, just the reprecussions of the event on your relationship with your parents. You really don't want to be in a three year long fight with them.

 

Rasta, do you think her parents are going to let her go with some random girl that YOU know is safe? She would still be running away, except now you have other people getting in trouble besides her.

Yeah if she goes, she needs people to watch out for her. If I was near her I'd go with her, no problem. If I was at the gathering, I'd watch out for her and hang out with her.

But there is a lot of distance between Colorado and Texas. Greyhound, train.. those would be the safest routes to take, but how will she pay? And I am 20 and I got robbed in a greyhound station.

She needs someone her parents know and trust to go with her. I am sure the people you suggest would help her out and go, but why don't you just recommend people in her area for her to talk with for now? Rather than people to take her to the gathering. If she starts hanging out with people now, maybe by next year her parents will be more trusting (and it's amazing the maturity we go through between 15/16/17.. each year was equalivant to several since you go through so many changes in that period, it's totally different than 10-12 or anything)

Anyways, Woodstock, please look at my post with all the links and contact some people there. Don't isolate yourself and spend your time living in the past. That's sad, and not what the gathering is about anyways.

 

Gyva_02:

Its people like you who give rainbow a bad name, advising a 15yo girl to run away! Why would an almost 30yo man do that? Its easy to think that your intentions are not very honorable. You bring cops and heat onto gatherings by making them a place for runaways to hide. Sorry dude but you are way out of line.

I hope my kids don't meet up with someone like you, because even though my kids have been to gatherings their whole life, I would not think of allowing them to attend without an adult I know and trust very well.

Woodstock, I hope you can find people in your area that you can hook up with and relate. Its hard to be a kind soul in an unkind world. Even in three years it will still not be perfectly safe to be traveling alone without money and a car. But, without the hassle of cops and bad karma hanging over your head, you can hopefully find what you need. Its out there, but you can't rush things in this world.

 

I think you better re-read, I explained if people want it bad enough they make it happen. I asked why do people protect their children to an insane degree, I said I dont think is 15 year old would have any problems at a gathering, and if they were worried to go to a respectable kitchen, I also said going to my fist gathering changed my life forever..... Nope not once did I say pack your bags and leave. Not once did I say dont listen to your parents and leave.....

Get your shit straight before you put words in my mouth... I advise you re-read everthing I wrote.

I'm very strongly individual rights minded, NOT what the government tells me is right, and thats why I've said what I've said here, be it a 15 year old boy or girl, I think age retarded when it comes to rights. I think your born free and when your old enough to leave the flock then leave on your terms not someone elses opinion on when that should be... be it this girl leave or not I dont really care, if shes ready she'll go if not she wont its as easy as that.... Please please dont sterotype me as a sicko as in your response of "Its easy to think that your intentions are not very honorable" It pisses me off a lot..... but I'll get over it as I think once you re-read you'll also agree you were 2 quick to judge....


Mike....

 

Why is that? Wow. Why is everyone arguing? Peace people. I've been really persistent with my mom, but still no straight answer. I would have a better chance of going if anyone could tell me a website to go to to find bus tickets, so there is an established way I could get there. Any information about the gathering would be much appreciated

 

I would, but I'm not, as some folks in here are worse at judging individuals than the LEO's are..... I wouldnt want my words turned upside down to fit what they were accusing me of.....

If they dont believe in rainbow why are they here? Its amazing how many crappy things I've seen posted about rainbow here, you'd think they were part of the media that's against us, As what they are saying largely resembles rainbow hate coloumn articles....... Rainbow is 99.9% love and light I cant believe the negative stuff people are trying to scare you with...... Theres dangers everywhere in this world, the best advise I can give anyone is just look both ways when crossing any street, that way you dont get ran over...


Mike...

 

I was arguing?

Did I miss something?

I'm telling you from my experience and the reality of the gathering why I don't think any child should go to the gathering alone...let alone a grown woman. I'm a pretty cultured person, I've travelled around the world without my parents and I still wouldn't go to the gathering by myself. It's just not safe to go so far away from home alone at that age.

I will not research any bus ticket websites because there's no way I'd encourage a 15 year old to run away like that. Talk to your parents. Tell them how you feel...maybe they can help you find someone they trust to go with you. I think that makes a lot more sense, and is a lot more mature, than just up and going by yourself.

 

Ran away when I was about 7, realized I didn't have a way to feed myself........so take enough money for food. Bus seems like the idea. Make sure it is a round trip. See if you can at least get your moms approval. If not, definitely leave a message and a return time. Let them realize there is a time in everyones life when you have to break away for the first time. The worst case scenario is they send the jon dons afta U and snatch u off the bus. Going to the local gatherings and finding an older woman who will take you may be a better idea. The suicide rates are higher than the murder rates by quite a bit in this country.
The trouble with a lot of rainbow sites is that they only give you a one way street for a looksie at the scene. Your in the right place to ask questions, maybe you can be a little more specific about the more info you want.?..??..? This is the only rainbow forum I've found online that isn't on the funky microsoft .alt server....
my friend married a 14 yr old girl years ago and they have a child named faith. some girls are definitely maturing younger these days and fully capable of making their own decisions despite the hen rennies.....un-hunh.(that's a control freak who has no experience being you) And as far as those who think 'what if' something happens to you......well ....the big bad grim reaper can take any of you at anytime, fact. (cept me)<( mister Grim is scared of me)

love and peace
Honor Seed

 

Honorseed...

Lovin ya.......


Mike...

 

you need dark colors as well as bright colors to make a rainbow. where there is good you also have evil, just look at religon. No one is saying anything that isnt true. you have to use good judgement in every situation. there are drugs and alcohol at these things. people do tend to binge on things and make an ass out of themselves. i have seen people try to steal a child from kid village, and have talk to sisters who have been molested at the gathering. watch the pack mentality beat the hell out of people, this is the real world. you can say what you want about fear, but use your head, most people are not. That kind love peace hippydippy bullshit only goes so far. Alot of people who go to gatherings are not hippies, but they are rainbows if you can understand that. this is not 1969 and it is not woodstock. they tried that shit again, have another woodstock in 99, it was horrible my brother was there. capitalism meets roadkids it didnt work, riots and everything. this society is an agressive one just watch t.v. for an hour or two. No one is trying to scare anyone, by all means go, Be fucken prepared. If you run away and your parents involed the police you could become award of the state how great would that be. Get permisson and some friends your age and stay together. It is a real world out there, more so for a young ladie than a man. love may make the world go around, but it is a damn perverted sick world.

 

You speak the truth brother

 

Woodstock Child, I admire your fearlessness, because the fearless are the only ones not adding to the breeding pool of fear, from whose depths emerge all of this world's aggression and violence.

Those who claim that their fears reflect reality are themselves clueless to the reality that; 'the underlying motivation of all aggression and violence is fear'.

The fearfull not only perpetuate aggression and violence in this world, but accelerate its blood thirsty path of global destruction.

Our world doen't have much time, and, if any innocent children are to survive the fear-driven aggression and violence of this new century, it will be thanks to the fearless few.

One reason is The Gathering does attract many of those who are still sensitive enough to feel deeply and accutely the alienating effects of our fear-driven hierarchical civilization.

The Gathering is where you can find many of these sensitive souls detoxing from the alienating poison of our civilization's destructive pathologies.

Some find these souls disturbing, and wish they would disapear, and not tarnish the happy little Rainbow Hippie image.

But if they disapear, then one of the greatest spiritual challenges that many of us will ever face in our Rainbow experience will have disapeared.

Welcomehome.org, will give the exact directions to The Gathering.

But usually not before mid-June.

Also, The Gathering is nearly always many, many miles from the nearest bus station.

Only if the bus station happens to be in the same town as the food co-op or organic food store nearest The Gathering can you be certain of getting a ride into The Gathering from the store's parking-lot.

The Gathering is a very social event.

Extroverts have an advantage over the more sensitive introverts who can quickly become emotionally overloaded and withdrawn due to the social intensity.

If you're going to The Gathering, you're going to want to make connections, and, if you're new, you'll need to initiate the connections by initiating conversations.

It will help to be a little assertive.

Being female is an advantage, because people will be more patient with you and won't turn their backs on you just because you're a little clueless.

Food, music, dance and nature are everywhere in The Gathering.

Overall, at The Gathering you have an opportunity to meet more wholistic and even eccentric characters with alternitive lifestyles and alternative view-points than anywhere else North of the Rio Grande.

 

Advaya, i did not tell anyone to do anything. I do not know how i could have been any more clear about that. I think i said it 3 times.

What i said is that my technique is to NEVER alienate a teenager. Then i told her that i was well known, and that EVEN THE INFO BOOTH would know who i am and where to find me.
So she can get robbed at a greyhound. She can also get kidnapped in her front yard, or at the 7-11. That type of thinking is absurd.

Woodstock Child, IF YOU GO (i am not advising that you do) and if you have trouble with money or get stranded in the bus station, I CAN SEND YOU MONEY, OR A RIDE.
I say this because i want you to know that YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. Ever. I will always be here with a contact for you. I will always stick up for you. I will always be able to send someone that is well known to help you.
With that said i will repeat myself again. I don't think you need to be in a 3 year long siege with your parents.

Advaya, thanks for your help. But just because you do not know who i am only means that you do not know who i am. If you want you can PM me and i will give you some contacts along the way that are well known. If you are ever robbed in a bus station, call me and i will send you some help.

 

Love you too Mike........I see all kinds of comments makes me wonder why so many people stand around and watch fights and just look at people laying on a sidewalk and walk on by when they look like they're dead. I guess when you think society is filled with sick, perverted, negative and otherwise disgusting situations, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NOT PERSONALLY SEEN THEM HAPPEN, people get apathetic about being sensitive extroverted peacemakers (shanti sena).....the only way to be, the rest of you only have to shed your fear. I see the fear energy like a dark cloud around you, the darkness of death, it is not meet for you to hide your inner light under a bushel basket. The craving for drugs and an altered state is the craving for peace and love. Drugs are a spiritual placebo. A way to be sensitive and extroverted without taking on the responsibility of a peacemaker. How embarrassed it is to face the truth of failings in yourself if you don't seek to improve your personal situations and focus on the positive things in society. The feeling of hopelessness is the balance for craving feelings. Balance yourselves.

love and peace, blessed be and namaste
Honor Seed

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Booomm ! ! Rassta !

 

I really do hope to go, if things work out. I need to get away from my home for a while, and maybe they can understand that. I'm restless, and an escape, if only for a week, can most likely make things better. I live in a very materialism-based environment and it puts weights around my neck and burdens me with anger and sadness. I view the Rainbow Gathering as a way to relieve those feelings and have a chance to meet some really interesting people I wouldn't have ever met in El Paso. I hope it works out. I'm going to be assertive and take initiative. I'm going to find a way to take a bus from here to Colorado, so it's not a last-minute thing with no set way to get there. If I have the trip logically planned out, then it would sound more reasonable to my parents. Agree? Thanks for all the tips

 

How restricted are you if you have no physical life to lead & you've barely had a chance to live? Too many young folks wind up dead while hitch-hiking; even the gutter kids travel in at least pairs, more often in groups.

And encouraging a child to run away when there doesn't seem to be any reason other than a sense of adventure? Would you want someone to encourage your child to run away? Now if a parent or parents feel that their child is mature enough to go to a Gathering alone & suitable travel arrangements are made, then I'm all for a 15 yr. old going to a Gathering...'course most parents that we know take their teens to the Gathering, then allow the teen to camp where-ever the teen wants; many like their child to share one meal a day with them.

Even so, Mike; there are dangerous things that happen at Gatherings. A child molester tryed to pick-up on our son in MT; luckily we're attentive parents & saw that something wasn't right with this person & our whole kitchen crew was alerted to the fact that we didn't want our child unsupervised around the adult; so it didn't come as much of a shock to the crew when the person said that anyone over 12 was old enough to concent to a sexual relationship (course our son was only 10 at the time). Needless to say, the person's statement did not recieve a positive response. Shanti Sena was given a heads up to shadow the person & then person was escorted out at some point.
Other things that were not good that happened in MT; teens who tripped out on Kedemine-one built a fortress & stayed there for quite a while with a Calm crew trying to talk him out & get food & water to him; another who went into fetal position for a couple of days. There was a young man who offered free X only to cute young sisters and some of them weren't happy about being cohersed to do things they wouldn't have otherwise done because they had faith that the gift was given in kindness.

Gatherings are partialy about peace and love; but they are also about healing and hopefully those that need healing will find it at a Gathering...but healing doesn't always happen & it's tragic when one person's sickness harms an innocent life

So maybe now you see why I am against this child going to a Gathering alone.

C

(might post again when I finish reading this thread....)

 

I see I see I really do, but be it downtown in a park or at a gathering your going to find a element of danger anywhere, and I think, well I hope with this comment all the high tensions and argueing can stop.... I think it has to do with how mature a person is 100% and I should have said that from the beginning. I had known 18 year olds who should have still been in day care while prents were gone at work, but then I knew 14 year olds that were more responsible than their parents.... And that was my round about point all together sorry it came out so blah.... ha ha... but had said that it is possible for a 15 year old to go to a gathering by themselves it just is.. now going with a group of friends IS much safer its not 100% the only way.... its like this, you can drive a car without a seatbelt, you can it still goes, but its safer to be wearing one.......... ya dig?


Mike...

 

Good for you! A solid travel plan is a great way to show your parents that you are mature. Should your parents still disapprove; please do the mature thing and make plans for 2007 without much complaint but with resolve; as a parent, I can say that how well a teen handles a 'no' can make all the difference later. Might I also suggest that you find someone here on HipForums that is willing to meet you at the closest bus stop to bring you to the Gathering; preferably someone that 'references' from other HipForums Rainbows (in other words, make sure that a couple of other people say 'yeah, that person is cool, I traveled with them, camped with them,' ect) Rastapatch and his family are good to camp around; we've know them for many years; we can tell you other trustworthy people if you wish, just PM.

As for the Austin Potlucks, we're pretty sure that they aren't going on anymore.

As far as non-positive things at Rainbow; everything I posted earlier are things I've seen with my own eyes. I still love Gatherings and I always will but I would personally give Rainbow a 80-85 percent positivity ratio...it could improve if more people were willing to see the problems and approach them in a positive way but often times people turn a blind eye...


C

(oh & Mike, no tension intended on this end; I just feel very strongly about young people traveling on their own. Every part of the world has its own dangers; but if I have to choose between being in a city park after dark or being in a rural area with copperheads, rattlers, & scorpions; I'd guess that I'd have a better chance of survival in the rural area...and sometimes survival is what its all about, both physical survival & survival of Spirit.)