(sung to the tune of the traditional mother's day song) M is for the men she ran around with O is for the orgies in our house T is for the two abortions mother had last year H is for the hundred bucks she spent each week on beer E is for my eight brothers and sisters R is for the rotten time we had Put them all together they spell M-O-T-H-E-R... ...now you wanna hear about my dad? (disclaimer: actually, my mother was nothing like this. I really have no excuse for the way I turned out)
M is for the Meth she smoked O is for the Opiates she takes T is for the Tin foil she smoked them in H is for the Heroin she shot up E is for the Emptyness inside her R is for Rebabtised to atone for being a piss poor mother. Unfortunatly this is sorta true.
truly touching lets see M is for the moustache she still has O is for the olives that were our main course every night T is for her tanning bed addiction H is for the horse that shared our living room E is for the Eczema medication she hoards R is for the rastafarian she isn't
M is for the insults she mutters O is for the open way of her mouth while sleeping T is for the trunk of secrets our family keeps H is for the holidays that she got drunk and hurled insults at me E is for the elephant in the living room R is for the recovery I need Happy Mother's Day.
Are we related? (was the elephant in the living room a pink one that nobody was allowed to talk about?)
That's right... and everyone tiptoes around it, not to disturb it, but of course dont ever admit its there.
M are for the moments that you spend together O is for the outstanding way she cares T is for the tolerence she has for you H is for the heart that's always there E is for the excitement when you acomplish sometrhing new R is for the respect that she is due Love yo ma
hmmm alrgiht this is like those things ya do in first grade for mother's day but a little darker...fun here's mine: M-is for the mass amounts of pressure you put on me to never settle for me being a being of meridian or displaying mediocracy O-is for supplying my almost 11 pound fetal self with oxygen for 10 months T-is for teaching me to stay transitive and giving me a thirst for knowledge...ohhh and not taking the damn trash out and letting the dogs get in it after putting your meat things in there H-is for you talking at a level where you think everyone is hard of hearing but also having a heart as big as your mouth E-is for you being so English even though you've been in the states for a total of over 25 years now R- is hoping that you will remain my best friend but retre from being my mom...atleast somewhat
