people always say, "im writting this off the top of my head"....but isn't that mainly what poetry is about?? I never really work on my poems....theyre all pretty much off the top of my head.....except for a few mins i'll spend rearanging sentances, and adding punctuation....anyways....this poem...or whatever you want to call it, is fucked. i don't know why i posted it...mostly for opinions. I want people to tell me to stop. I saw it through the corner- you're raping blood soaked daisies. A penetrate of flaming rods slammed into virgin grass. Dragging faces on the gravel, like hot knives on a cow... my mind is in a turmoil, the sides hurl up and down. My ribs keep tearing open, exposing muddy wounds. I found it here, it's still alive....it's beating in my chest. Nails on boards they pierce my brain And my ears they screach with torture. I hear you smear thick boiling vinegar And my bones are leaking sweat Eighteen acres of sweet air, couldnt get me to hold grasp Close the lids of melted eyes, just shave the bone from skin.
Thats morbid girl , scares me. But its well done, Ive always wished I had some of the creativness So dont stop a writing .
I wrote a response that I won't post. Excellent passion. Pretty good rant, vent. Horribly violent subject that, if I read it correctly, deserves more time. It pissed me off.
Maybe I've been exposed to too many poems about rape and incorrectly assumed that rape was the subject? Maybe I've been over exposed.
it's not about rape at all.... to be honest, i dont know what its about i guess i use the word rape solely as a violent violation, not a sexual one.
Well, you've got the vivid imagery down cold, that part was good. That said, this poem has no direction. I don't know what you're trying to say, aside from "my mind is in turmoil." All I'm getting is a vague, general sense of anguish, physical and mental Maybe this is your style and all, but it seems like one should have an idea as to what their poem will be about before they write it. You can't depend on great mental imagery alone. Just my opinion.
I liked this... all but the "still beating in my chest" that image struck me as more cliche than the rest. To me, it appeared to be about a violent assault someone's having to deal with and they don't really know what happened except that it was bad. Just to put out another question... why do we feel like finding the authors meaning behind a piece of art? I personally try my best to write things specific enough to paint a vivid picture but ambiguous enough that most anyone identifies with... Nice read
i agree....regardless of what my poem is really about, it's going to be different for anyone who reads it. This particular poem was just what was going through my head when i was really confused about a lot of stuff. If you read some of my other stuff, i'm sure you'd interpret something 100 times different than what i really intended. That's the beauty of poetry....the author writes one thing, and it's interpreted as a million.
