I have a 20 y/o boyfriend and I'm 14. Now we both love each other very much and are happy only with one another. But the secrets and lies we keep are building up. We want to spend the rest of our lives together. And I know what your thinking. " This girl is 14 she can't make these decisions on her own." First of all I'm NOT like your average 14 y/o. Second, don't judge me because of my age. Now if you haven't said anything like that at all then we're good. Like I was saying do you think this relationship will work? The lies that we keep and secrets that are kept within us are only to keep this relationship together. I love him. And I want whats best for him. It's just is what's best for him going to be with me?
It's not that you are 14 and unable to make decisions, just that you are at a place in your life where your life will definitely change in the future. Like a 35 year old may be at the point in their life when "settling down" occurs, ie they want to live the rest of their life the same way they are living now. But you certainly do not want to be in high school and living with your parents the rest of your life. So you have to be sure that if you want to spend the rest of your life with the person you are with at 14 that you will still want to be together through all your life changes. If you think you will want to be with him while you go to college or move out or whatever, then go for it. The other issue is your boyfriend. My brother is 20 and I would be disgusted if I found out he was dating a 14 year old. Not that you aren't fabulous but couldn't he find someone his own age? Are you sleeping together? Because then there's a legal issue and he could be thrown in jail for a long time, even if it is with your consent. Love fucks with your head, makes you do crazy things.
thanks for the advice....and i dont know why he has picked me to be his girlfriend....but i surely can tell you that he loves me...very very much...and i already know about that whole if i have sex if i dont have sex i know its illegal until im 15 even if my parent did consent..
No prob-I hope I didn't come across as harsh but those are the things you gotta think about. I know a guy who had an underage girlfriend for 2 years and they loved each other, but they ended up breaking up, just sorta grew apart. Then like a year later she took him to court for statutory rape. He was of course guilty of this even though it had been a loving relationship and he had to pay a ton of money to avoid jailtime. Not that I'm suggesting you'd be as big a bitch as that girl but he never would have seen it coming either.
Nope, I wouldn't judge you OR your boyfriend because of your age gap. I couldn't. I'd like to say, believe in the love that you two share, and even if it doesn't last forever, don't feel discouraged by it. Love IS a beautiful thing, and you two share that beautiful thing now. It is hard at times, I can TOTALLY understand that. But if you guys believe in yourselves, your mutual love, things will begin to improve. Besides, you guys are only 6 years apart. In a few years, that won't be much at all. All in all, I'm very happy for you two, and wishing you all the best.
To be honest, yeah I would judge you based on your age gap. You two are in very different periods in your life and over time that'll just become more and more apparent. Plus, damn.... he is 20, that is just kinda creepy. Sorry if that is offencive, but if I had a friend that was 20 and I found out he was going out with a 14 year old, I would probably kick his ass. That sorta stuff is just wrong to me.
Everyone seems to be ignoring the fact that she said that they are LYING to each other, and I'll tell you right now, it doesn't how big or small the age gap is, if you are lying to each other, there ain't no way that relationships gonna last, even if you had "good intentions." You can't build anything on an unstable foundation, and lies cannot keep a realtionship together.
No, they are NOT lying to EACH OTHER. They have no choice but be dishohest about certain things to certain OTHER PEOPLE, because of their age gap. I'm in the same situation with my girlfriend myself. We'd very much like to be more open about it, but when society isn't ready to accept relationships such as Emo_Freak's, or mine with my girlfriend, keeping certain information from certain parties for the sake of saving those relationships becomes necessary at times. That was essentially what Emo_Freak was talking about. Read carefully.
Just don't let him kick your ass around just cos he's older - you can still call the shots lucky git - but a law breaker (who doesn't?)
It can work... For some time. But you can not be sure for 10 years later. Just enjoy, talk to your parents (trust me, you HAVE to talk to them and they WILL understand you) and do not do any silly things! You are very young and there is time for everything. Time will show if he is "the one"
