Why can my BF be as horny as me!?!?

My boyfriend has such a small sex drive and I'm always horny! Dammit, I thought guys were supposed to have like double the sex drive as women? It's very, very frustrating. I love him very much and don't want to place too much of an emphasis on our sex life but it is important to me. He says I'm very attractive, it's not me, yada yada yada, but when you have a big ol' folder full of porn that you jerk off to everyday, and you can't give it to your girlfriend ONCE when she comes over for the weekend, then something is definately w-r-o-n-g. He doesn't understand how big of an issue it is for me, and is kind of apathetic to it. Everything else about our relationship is great, we get along great, we're always laughing together. I'm not a big fan of masterbating, though I do it, I just prefer to be with my hunny. I'm almost in tears its so frustrating and he doesn't understand it at all! What do I do?

 

maybe the relationship isnt great to him.

the porn thing is just part of society and how we raise children these days, its not as big of a deal as him not wanting to give it up to you.

I'd talk to him about the relationship cuz I got twice the sex drive of my lady and I'm pretty sure thats how its suppose to work at our age. But ya know, I'm as lost as everybody else. I just think that sex can be a very spiritual experience and thats usually when people are socially happy with their relationships, and spiritually able to accept who they are right now.

Cuz lets face it.

There is nothing but now.

Yesterday and Tomarrow are illusions in our minds.

 

mmm.... what you tell is very strange... if he feels the need of masturbating instead of having great sex with you.. mmm... that isn't a nice sign....


perhaps he is just afraid not to satisfy you as you expect.. I dunno.. it's just an hypothesis...

 

Try masterbating in front of him. I mean really give it to yourself and don't hold back. Act more like a porn star and maybe his interest will be revived.

 

My bf does the same thing to me! On the other hand we know we arent beibng used... I know how annoying it is though

 

your boyfriend is gay, get a new one.

 

Maybe that's just the way your bf is. Is he focussed on his work and getting ahead in life and serious stuff like that? You'll have to make a decision whether that's what you want. Also, maybe he loves you, but loves you mostly as his trusted friend and not as a lover. Again, you'll have to make a decision. Maybe he masterbates a lot when he's home alone, so that he's not horny for you. I'd ask him to masterbate in front of you. You might masterbate in front of him at the same time. Or give him a back rub . . . tease him a little at his lower back . . . then move down to his butt and inner thighs . . . then behind his balls ...alternate between a firm massage and a teasing . . . then (in other words, show how masterful and sensual you are -- you can do it). Best of luck. Also, remember -- even though you love him, if the relationship is not going to work, in some ways you're wasting your time with him. It's okay to be alone and being happy while you're without a guy, and while you're on the look-out for some other special guy.

 

Hey guys I wanted to thank you for all your replies…We did talk this weekend. I know he’s been taking some meds that interfere with his drive. But we did have a go last night and he told me that he misses making love to me, and he does want it more. How sweet huh? He also thanked me for being understanding and said that he’ll try to be more attentive to my needs…and take a little less of the med and see how that goes.

Oh, and what someone asked before, if my BF is an achiever and is into “going places” in life, getting ahead, yes, he is. I can see how that would relate his/our sexual life…but I’m slowly but surely making him realize how good I can give it to him. =)

 

hehe meds will defintly do it, ive been on some stuff that made me as horny as a young boy in a nursing home..hehe sometimes it just takes time for the body to get used to meds before the sexdrive comes back

 

...

 

I believe you may be on to something here!

 

I understand your desires and could have very high ones without a problem. I learned not so long ago that sex isn't as big of a deal as having someone that really cares. If you are basing your relationship on frequency of your sex then you have a lot of growing up to do. there are many other things involved in a relationship that have a gretaer inportance. Those should be thought about and built apon first.

 

Obviously I'm not basing my entire relationship on sex...sex is just the icing on the cake. We have a great relationship and I wouldn't ever think of leaving my hunny because of sexual issues. Everyone deals with them sometime in thier life.

 

hey dont act like sex isnt important she has a valid point. Its imature not to care about other things, but it isnt imature to care about sex.

 

No one has said anything, but if he has a huge stash of porn and masturbates once a day, but can't give it to his girlfriend as much as she wants, then maybe he's relying too much on masturbation. Obviously he has a sex drive if he's masturbating. Not trying to cause problems, I'm just saying..he should be focusing his attention on you, not the porn.

 

Well this is definatly an issue (I don't think its an imature concern, and niether does the sunday night sex show lady).

Have you tried looking at the porn with him, taken over from him while he's masterbating, or even give him a bj while he's looking at porn.

Just some sujestions