is this something I should be overly concerned about? am i doing the right thing?

Leane is 7 and a bit months old now, and she is at the point where she grabs onto everything she can. I like letting her explore things, but when I do have to take something away, she screams and gets really upset unless you give it back to her. Sometimes I can pull off giving her something that she can play with, like one of her toys or something, but other times, she just wants the other thing. For example, when she's eating her solid food i always bring 2 spoons, one for her to play with and one for me to feed her with. sometimes she still grabs the other one out of my hands and i say, "well if you want that one, I'm going to have to take this one." She doesn't usually care too much in that case.
When I do have to take something away, I calmly say to her, "Can I please have this back?" Some times I have to say it a few times, and I will gradually pull her fingers off it so she gets what I'm asking her to do, and then I say,"thank you," when I have it, regardless of wether or not she's upset. if she's really sad about it, I will pick her up (if i'm not already holding her) and hug her and give her lots of kisses. Am I doing the right thing?
My mom was telling me the other day how she knows Leane's going to become a "tantrum baby" and that I'm in for it.....I want to try and get her to understand there's some things that she can't have now so i'm not trying to explain this new concept to a toddler.
what did you guys do in this situation?

 

She is one smart cookie! Don't worry, be proud, she's already figured out what she wants. Keep doing what you're doing, you're doing a great job. It's hard to reason with babies who haven't reached the age of reason, but you have to keep gently repeating yourself over and over and over and over.............and she'll get the point one day.

 

It is totally about repetition! What she doesn't get today, she might get tomorrow...if you're already teaching it to her...

I mean, you can't expect a toddler to get what you're saying the first time you say it...So if they already have heard it 1000 times, once the fuse lights up that let's them understand what is being asked of them, they get it more quickly...

Hon, you're a great mom. Don't let anyone make you think differently. You know in your heart what is the best strategy for dealing with your baby girl. No one else has a clue what is going to work for her...except maybe your hubby.

 

when I read that, I got this picture in my head of seeing an 18 year old's face light up like a light blub just flicked on inside her head......

 

Hahaha, that sometimes happens to me, not literally, but you know.... (and I am on the way to be 24, and I hope these moments will never stop!)

 

And sometimes it takes that long............

 

Dont use green letter with a slight green back ground.

 

...

 

If she grabs something she shouldn't have, get something that she can play with-something that she is guaranteed to like and trade with her...it usually works. Then tell her you can't have X, but here is Y that you can play with.

 

What all these beautiful mamas are saying! Put forbidden objects away and outta sight too. And just be secure in the fact that dangerous things are a no-no, she'll pick up on that vibe totally, and it'll become a non-issue. She'll also pick up on the vibe of your feeling bad about taking things away from her too. And work that boundary

It's good to be a Mama Bear! My Son did the same thing, explored early, early with everything. A lot of my *stuff* went away for a long, long time...thems the breaks kid!

 

She seems pretty normal to me. If you want to meet some tantrum children, you have to meet my cousins. Don't get me wrong, I love them and I always look forward to seeing them. We all do. They're both basically good kids, but when they get angry, man, look out! Brianna’s 10 and I love her to death, Nicky's 7 and is still very cute. They're both very bright and a lot of fun to be around. They're mom works at Disney, so they have a lot of discount Disney toys (and we get to go to the parks for free). But lord, when those kids are unhappy, take cover. Literally, because things do get thrown. Brianna’s the worst in that department, though she is starting to get better. She's smart enough to know how to get other relatives to get her what she wants (and yes, I've been suckered into that a couple times, too). Nicky can scream like a heavy metal star. My lord, it's terrifying. I remember I was visiting my grandparents (they live in Florida, right down the street from my aunt and uncle), and Nicky was throwing a fit! I woke up (around 2 PM... Ahh, vacation!) and I thought the kid had hurt himself. I still don't know what was wrong with him, but lord, whatever it was, man, he was furious!

They're not even really spoiled, that's the funny thing. No more than any other kid. I know this, I was spoiled, and I never acted that way towards people, let alone my parents. It's not like they've never heard "no" before, they just act like it.

So I don't think you're in for it, I've seen much worse. She sounds like most babies I've seen.

 

Yeah, I figured that her behavior is pretty normal.

I'm just trying to do everything that I can to make sure she becomes a happy, kind and respectful kid. I'm so paranoid that she's going to be like those kids you see where they tell their moms to shut up and throw huge tantrums.....but I guess most parents do all they can to avoid that.....

I guess I have to just mellow out a bit.... or she may end up picking up on the worry and use that to her advantage......

 

If I were you, I would total dismiss anyone that tells you "watch out, your kid is going to be a terror/just like your sister/you when she gets older." Those people feel insecure in their own parenting abilities and are trying to make themselves feel better by bringing you down. Be confident in your skills! You seem to be doing great!
ps move out!!!

 

funny enough, my mom always talks about how she knows that she messed up 'something' with us to make us such bad people....she's always looking for validation in her parenting abilities.
we're still working on the moving out thing, BTW
I think that I'm just dealthy afraid of making a stupid mistake and messing her up forever.....sounds a little extreme, but a few years ago, i was really messed up, and so were the people i was friends with, and i always told myself i would never allow that to happen to my kids.