Birth order? How do you think it's affected your life?

that's it.

discuss...

 

only child... first last middle and the most special!

aha... I think that I could have turned out very very very spoilt by it. But my grandma and my parents always taught me that what I got was a bonus, was a special something, not to expect it, that I didn't necessarily deserve it but that they did it out of the goodness of their heart. I learnt that the value of a "Thank You" is much greater than "I want/deserve"

 

I'm the oldest child with two younger brothers and a single mom. I throw in the single mom issue because it makes a difference in my eyes. My mom always worked for contractors so she worked long hours. I raised my two little brothers for many years, basically on my own. Made sure they stayed safe, didn't get in trouble, did chores, etc. Because of it I can cook, clean, sew, and all that stuff.
I think it made me grow up a bit too fast as well. I mean that's a lot of responsibility when you're 11 years old. I was treated as such as well. I always came last, and I was expected to be patient about it. It was expected to understand that since they weren't in my position they would not be able to handle not having the attention I wasn't getting. Like because I filled in for my mom, I was as in need of her attention as they were, if that makes sense to anybody.
I do not mean to sound as though I am complaining about it. I will admit I do not believe that all aspects of my position were positive, but I have no regrets about the person it made me. Im extremely independant, and self supporting. Not to say I don't need help, but I earn everything I get or am given. I'm more responsible, mature(though it doesn't always show), and understanding than most people my age, around here, and I don't take anything for granted.

ps. Great thread nimh. Hope this is what you were looking for as far as a reply.

 

oldest child... things were A LOT more strict for me then my brother... a lot more... after me by mom finally learned to relax a little (musta been nice)

 

I'm the oldest of two. My parents were extremely strict with me, whereas with my little sister, she's had next to no restrictions on her.

I've always had the "motherly" role, as my sister and I are 9 years apart, and I did a lot of taking care of her as a child. Sometimes I find myself being more mother-like with her to this day even though she's 18, and I have to stop myself. But she looks up to me and respects me, so it's good. I love that girl so much.

 

i'm the oldest of many

i had to grow up when i was way too young. didnt get to have much of a childhood because i was always expected to look after everyone else.

yeah, that makes perfect sense. i got a lot of that too, being mommy #2. and still dont get much attention from either parent. like i've had major surgery and dont even get as much as a phone call to see how things are going. i guess i've always been so self sufficient that they figure i dont need any support at all? i dunno

ditto that. probably a really common theme. parents are so scared of screwing up thier kids that they're a lot more uptight with the first one. then when they realize that it doesnt matter what they do, the kids are still going to do their own thing/get messed up, they relax a bit.

 

I am the middle child and I have the self proclaimed: Middle Child syndrome.

The oldest gets attention because they are the oldest, more mature, and more responsible (supposedly)...and the youngest because they are the cutest and the littlest.

I am the middle...the only way I get attention is if I'm loud, rebellious and obnoxious. I'm also a better "sharer" than my siblings...and I'm the most creative...because I had to stand out SOMEHOW!

 

Only child here. I was spoiled as a child, especailly with my parents getting divorced when I was 5. I always had 2 holidays every holiday, way more gifts than other kids, but I grew up with my mom going through a bad marriage with a very strict stepfather and only seeing my dad every other weekend. I can say that this all affected my personality. Im more quiet than the average person, struggled with anxiety and mild depression, but I feel that it has made me a stronger person. I have good leadership skills and a great work ethic, although somewhat narcisistic

 

I admit that I have even been like that with my own kids. When I had my oldest, I was paranoid about any and every little thing concerning him. I must have put in so many phone calls to his ped, I know they grew weary of me, I just know it! I was also super strict, very controlling, babied him ridiculously to the point in which it hampered his development at times...then I had my twins. Suddenly, mommy became a lot more laid back, went with the flow more. It was a good change for all of us.

 

i made all of my 'parenting' mistakes on my younger siblings. poor kids, i still apologise to them for all the crap i put them thru when they were younger. it's a little different with your own kids, but i already had a lot of experience.

 

I'm an oldest child. Generally my mom was always more relaxed when it came to my brother but my dad was generally on my side.


Interestingly though both of my parents are youngest children so on a very basic level I have a completly different set of values then everyone else who lives at my house. All three of them seem to be able to float through life and things just work out for them while I have to really work hard at every little thing for it to work out propperly.

I'm not sure why this is but I've noticed that youngest children tend to have this seemingly magic ability to just come out on top with practically no effort.

I've also read somewhere that the oldest child is the most likely to commit murder, so occasionally to freak my family out I point out that, out of everyone I'm the mostly likely to go crazy and kill everyone in there sleep. I've always wondered if that's why my brother suddenly started sleeping with his door locked.

 

As an oldest child of two, I couldn't agree more. I have had quite a difficult life whereas my younger brother seems to have glided through life ... I won't say effortlessly, because he has always had a strong work ethic (far stronger than me ... ha ha!) and now that he's a daddy, he is totally devoted to his wife and daughter, putting them first, etc ... but all things considered he has had a far easier life than his elder sis ... me.

I would also agree about the strictness of my parents, particularly my dad. He was always far stricter with me than he has ever been with my brother. For example, when I was a teen, he would NEVER countenance letting me go to my room with a boyfriend, whereas I can recall bro being about 15 and he used to take his then girlfriend up to his room most weekends when she was around. I always had curfews, whereas I don't ever recall bro having set times imposed on him.

Part of me thinks that in general parents worry more about a daughter than they do a son, but another reason could be that my health was ... shall we say ... delicate ... when I was younger, so that could be another reason for the strictness.

I was also expected to be responsible for my brother. I looked after him from about the age of 12, when the parents were out working, etc. If he misbehaved in any way, broke something, messed something up, then it would be MY fault for allowing that to happen, and he would get away without any kind of punishment, whereas it was me who was grounded, or set household chores to build character, that kind of thing. Sometimes bro would use these times to deliberately get me into trouble, ie, he would make a mess or do something forbidden, just to see me get it from the parents.

I love my parents and I know that they did the best for me in hard times when money was scarce. They loved and supported both of us and still do, so I don't bear them a grudge. The only thing is ... I am left with some odd feelings, like I always take the blame for things, even beyond my control, because I was brought up to be responsible for my little bro, these habits die hard.

 

Growing up 4 me was like this aswell, im also an only child. It also taught me how 2 get away with certain things bcos there werent any younger or older sibblings around to accuse i had to figure out ways of being mischevous with out getting caught lol

 

i def. agree... im 16 and oldest of two other siblings. they get away ith far more than i ever could.

my mom and me have such a deteriorated relationship now because she favors the middle child, my sister, a disgusting amount more than me or the youngest.

 

That's pretty shocking because most middle children I've talked to have the middle child syndrom like I do...because we got ignored for the most part.

 

yea- i think its because the yougnest is a boy and naturally closer to his dad. the middle is my moms 'little girl.' im basically the 'experiemnt' that they figure out what happens with different learning methods or whatever... it sucks but i get to leave first!!

 

Uck. My parents favor my younger brother. I love the kid to death, but I'm also incredibly envious. He's the "good child." And they let me know it almost every day of my life. He got all the great stuff for his birthdays over the years, game consoles out the wazoo, I was lucky to get what I asked for (which was never much, trust me, I know the value of a dollar all too well). The chair I use at my computer broke earlier this year (a spring snapped in the bottom) and my dad brings home a computer chair from work and guess who gets it? Not the kid with the broken chair, that's for sure. The most recent thing that ticked me off was this morning I asked my mom if they ever planned on helping my brother through school after he graduates high school and she wouldn't answer at first, then said, "That's a long way off." Which means yeah, if they have the money, my brother's going to college. And they won't give me a dime towards school. They're driving me away and thank god I'm moving out in July. I need to blow up on them and let them know their behavior towards me now is crucial because they may not get to see their grandkids grow up if they keep it up. I hate putting it at that...I don't want my kids only knowing one set of grandparents...but what else can you put on the line that shows how important it is?

 

Name: The Experiment (first Born).

Affects: Self explanatory?

 

Youngest of three. The only girl, as well.

In other words: The over-protected one.

I love my parents, though. They've done the best they could and can with all of us. Besides, I happy with the way I turned out.

 

My friend Amy had that problem when we were little. She put Jan Brady to shame. I thought she was just whining, but now I know better: she did get ignored. Not because her parents didn't love her, but because the youngest one was 5 or 6 years younger than her, and was a good kid, but you know. Small children require a lot of attention. And within the last couple of years, my mom explained to me that her older sister has all kinds of psychological problems (she seemed okay to me, but I was 10 last time I saw her, so I don't know), and needed a lot of attention. So between a 5 year old and her 14 year old sister who they couldn't afford counseling for, Amy was left out.