well, I had an interesting weekend/week..... I wound up at the police station charging my sister with assult and mischief...... Over the last year or two she's gotten into a drugs, partying and the people she is hanging around with...we don't even know where the heck they're coming from....... (she's 16, by the way). She dropped out of school, was starting corrispondence (sp?) then got expelled for smoking pot infront of the 'school.' she insists that she's just doing pot, but we're sure it's something else, as do the cops......we've had the cops at our house at least 4-5 times a month because of her fighting....... and she's been brought home by them quite a few times, too. The reason why we're so sure that she's on other crap, is that, for example, she'll be fine one week, and totally on edge the next....she showers repeatedly in one day, she has scabs everywhere, she has no remorse for what she says, and then acts like nothing happened the next minute......the other day, she was arguing with my mom and told her that she wanted to slit her throat with a knife......then a few minutes later she asked mom to driver her to her horse. She has gotten pleasure out of making my dh's, Leane's and my lives hell. We've told her to stay away from us...we're tenants, we rent the basement, stay away from us.....she didn't care. She constantly is raging on me about my weight. She follows me around snorting and yelling, "I smell bacon..." She goes on and on about how my husband doesn't want me and told him to go get a girlfriend the other day because he married a piece of shit who he should kill and be rid of. (when we first had leane, cody got really freaked out and wanted to leave for a while, but we've dealt with it, and we're fine now). She has told us to die repeatedly. She tells me that I'm a poor excuse for a mother. She has said that my daughter should have been 'killed off...' i can't even think of what else she says....I blocked out the rest of her insanity. But on Monday, it was the last straw... I was in the washroom while she was still in bed. I was told not to talk to her, so I made sure that she was asleep so i could use it. She got out of bed the second that I shut the door, and started to bang on it yelling at me to get out. She started accusing me of stealing her stuff (funny how she does that when she steals our food, our personal stuff......anything.....) and went to call our mom. When I heard what she was saying about me, I went to go get the phone. She kicked me in the stomach as I grabbed it, the phone flew out of my hands and broke. She started with her usual barage (sp?) of insults and I just flipped. I threw my brush at her....she threw it back, and started a fight. She wound up in her room for a minute, and I took the phone, as my mom asked that we don't call and bother her at work. Since I wouldn't give her the phone, she came downstairs and started to bang on the bedroom door, then opened it and started to throw stuff towards Leane and I. She threw a plastic bottle at one point and said, "I was hoping that would have been glass." I picked up Leane (i was changing her daiper when she threw the stuff) when she came into the room and pushed me, while I was holding her. I started to scream for her to leave, but she wouldn't. This had gone beyond the phone.....she was nuts. I put leane down in her crib and left the room to get her away from this. She was screaming, I didn't know what to do, and I kept telling my sister to get back upstairs or leave the house. At this point, she grabbed our camera, which had been a gift from my mother in law for when leane was born. She said, "i'm going to smash this if you don't give me the phone...." When I tried to get it from her, she continued to kick me in the stomach. I had to go get where I put the phone, but she said, "no, you're not leaving anywhere...." we started to physically fight, again......I have lovely green chest and arms now, a broken watch, which she threw against the wall, broked hair brushes, broken jewlery, and dented walls.....I'm not going to lie, I hit her back....i scratched her face....what the hell else was I supposed to do? This kid doesn't have the mental capasity to think.... I got the phone out, finally, but she still smashed the camera, and flushed the photos of leane and easter down the toilet. She then took the phone from me and called our mom and told her that I was abusing her. I wanted to call the cops, but when I was able to talk to my mom, she said no....she didn't want her charged...she didn't want her life ruined. Our mom's finace came over and managed to get her to leave me alone and leave the house, but not with out her trying to push me down the stairs....thankfully, he caught her in time and pulled her back. Cody came home from school when my mom told him what happened.....he was pissed. The cops called the house a couple hours later (apparently my mom did call them) and asked if i would come down to the station. I gave a report and charged her..... BUT, i feel like shit now. My mom booted her out...supposedly for the last time (she's been 'out' many times before, but everywhere she's stayed, the people she's staying with say that they can't handle her and want her out......and mom always lets her back) Cody and I are in talks with a rental company to move out, but my mom it begging us to stay....... I don't know what I'm looking for here.....I just feel like crap, and I really don't have anyone to talk to, as my mom doesn't want people finding out what happened.........
Hey Sweetie, I know how hard all of this is. Just remember that you, baby, and husband come first. You do not need to walk on eggshells becuase your sister has obvious issues. And Leane certainly doesn't need to be exposed to that behavior of hers. I think your sis has serious anger management problems, a drug issue, and maybe a jealousy issue (with you and babes). She needs tough lovenow, and the only way to do that is to set her straight. If you need to call the cops to do that, then by all means do it.As far as her drug use, maybe she is using meth. And I say that only because i have heard that users tend to feel like there are "itchiness" under their skin, hence the constant scrathing, and scabs. Certainly mmod swings and ill tempered rages... And as far as you moving out... do it. It would be peace and quiet for the three of you. I remember the thread you posted about a change in her sleeping patterns. Maybe this has something to do with it. Baby's have an amazing ability to sense things that are going on in their environment. ...and so terrible she hurt you like she did. And ruined your camera. That is just plain immature, and irresponsible. I hope you find a way to your own place. It may be tough and there is help out there for you. Mom wants you there, but realize in your heart what is best for you. The only one that you can make happy is yourself. And you are not happy there. Good Luck to you. Use your best judgment you will thank yourself!
Oh, Kirstyn, I am so sorry! I wish I could give you a big hug and let you tell me all about it in person! I know what it is like to need to talk and not have "real" people around, but I can't imagine going through all that with your sister and mom. I hope you and Cody get a place and your mom works out all her stuff, and your sister gets the help she needs. I am glad Leane wasn't hurt in all that. Your sister really needs help and you absolutely did the right thing. (((((((((HUGS)))))))))) Tiffany
It might not be drugs doing this to her... It could be a mental disorder. Your mother needs to take her to a psychologist...because I have a feeling it's not necessarily drugs. My advice: Get out of there and keep yourself and your family safe! It sounds as if she's very dangerous and could harm your child...I know if it was me...anyone can kick the shit out of me, but if they touch my baby, someone's ass is grass...and violence is never a good thing.
I was thinking that it could be bi-polar. My mom's finace is, and I was reading that when someone lives around it for a while, they start to imitate it.....just an idea..... we know that she needs phycological help, and now with the charges, she should be able to get it. Before this, my mom tried to get her into mental health, and they said that because of her age, it has to be voluntary.....so they turned her away.
thanks for the support everyone she actually has admitted to doing everything but heroin. she says that she isnt on anything anymore, but she's acting the same way she was before...... we couldn't get her to admit it before very easily, though....we found proof of it, and that's when she admitted it. re:leane's sleeping....she generally won't sleep with fighting going on, but it happens every night when my sister is here......so sadily, she generally seems used to it. I grew up around fighting constantly, and that was one thing that I vowed I'd never put my child through.....I feel like I'm completely letting her down.....
Yeah, she's doing a lot more than pot. The scabs are from picking at her skin to get the crawly feeling to stop. This is caused by cocaine. But the anger and agression is from PCP, dip, angel dust, it goes by many different names but it causes extreme agression. It has even caused people to commit murder. It is possible that she thinks she is only doing pot. But so much of the pot out there today is laced with pcp or cocaine. So she may not even know she's doing these other drugs. Heroin does not generally cause this kind of agressive behavior. She's a bit young yet to diagnose with bi-polar or things like that. you usually have to be in your early 20's for this. But not always. My guess is it's the drugs. The main thing is that you have to take care of yourself and your little family. Let your mother deal with your sister. Protect your family NOW. PCP can do wicked things to you. I know of one case where the mother baked her infant in the oven while she was high and didn't even know she did it. Get your little one out of there. Take care of yourself and your family. Blessings, Kathi (Social Worker in Drug Rehab)
we've assumed this is what it happening. she buys from the same guys all the time....they're probably lacing it with this crap to keep her coming back for more.
it's just because she's not acting like this when we force her to stay home....she turns into the way it she used to be it's when she goes out with these weird people we don't know and comes home after a day or two....
we're not denying that there's something phycological here..... my mom can't afford the phyciatrist, and like I said, when she tried to get her into mental health, they turned her away because it wasn't voluntary. (it's retarded, I know......laws are retarded.....we can't even do an intervention because she's under 18. If she does something wrong and gets arrested, my mom's in shit, but there's nothing that mom can do about getting her to stop.....I've come to memorize the laws on this here because of this crap)
Hon, you know what you need to do. And it seems like you're doing it...It's about protecting YOUR family. Not your momma's family. Not your extended family. *hugs to you* It's a difficult thing, but you will pull through this.
If she is violent, call the cops and an ambulance WHILE she is in it. The hospital HAS TO hold her on a minimum 24 Hold and Watch period. She HAS to be given a psychiatric consult. This is in every state! If she has a psychiatric disorder, (my guess would be Borderline Personality, but a doctor NEEDS to see her) they HAVE TO keep her. You mom say she "can't afford" to get her help. She "can't affford" not to. What is you mother going to do? Wait until she hurts the baby or kills someone? In many states parents are held IN NEGLECT if they don't get medical and psychiatric care for thier children. You've posted about your mother before. She seems like the Queen of Excuses. Don't let her do this shit to you and your baby. Call the cops AND and ambulance. Get your sister OUT of there. Do NOT wait until she hurts your baby.
I agree with Maggie... she needs help, and if you call when you suspect/know that she is under the influence, they HAVE to help her. You owe this to your sister & your mom, but more than that you owe it to yourself and your beautiful daughter. If she does not get the help she obviously needs, something far worse could happen next time. ((((((hugs!!!)))))) You will be in my prayers tonight. love, mom
In most homes where there is Domestic Tragedy, someone always said "We knew he/she had problems, but we never thought THIS would happen." Don't wait until THIS happens. I agree with both Kathi and cooloner. She probably has an underlying psychiatric disorder, which was aggravated by the drugs. If she wasn't already ill, the drugs may well have had a different effect. Many drugs, like PCP, reduces ability to control yourself, so tragedies happen. A more sane person may take the same drug and have a much different effect. Also, taking drugs in a less than happy setting can lead to unpredictable effects. Set and Setting, as Leary says. When people self medicate, they have much different results with drugs, than people who are emotioanally healthy and just experimenting.
I don't have much else to add, as there's been a lot of helpful advice posted already, but I wanted to offer my support and let you know that you and your family will be in my thoughts. {{{Hugs}}}
well, my sister is gone. The court date is for the 1st of june. she says that she's going to fight the charges..... we also have a form of a restraining order against her. She's not allowed to speak to any one of us (cody, me or leane). my mom was telling me about this trashy place she's staying at and how I need to learn to control my anger.....doing her typical guilt trip routine......which is getting very old, fast. My grandparents, who usually side with my mom on everything, are actually behind us this time....maybe they'll talk some sence into my mom. it's already way more peaceful here.....with the exception of my mom being pissed at us. re:moving out....we told her that we're looking at apartments, and she's had a mixed reaction. In one way, she's fine with it....she even said that she was just going to get a one bedroom apartment and leave it at that.....but on the other hand, she's asking us to stay because she'd never be able to sell the house right now, mid renovations, and get any money out of it. Her fiance even called us up begging us not to go...... this really isn't easy for me.....half my family won't talk to me already for having Leane and marrying cody......this would surely get rid of the rest of them.............. At least, at this moment anyway, the biggest problem is gone......if she comes back (which is highly likely), we're out at that moment......right now we're just taking it one day at a time..........
I'm really hoping that's how things are going to turn out, we all are...... hopefully with these charges proceeding, she'll get the help that she needs. I feel so bloody conflicted right now....I feel bad, but at the very same time, just the thought of her makes me mad.........
well, my mom was cleaning out her room yesterday and found a suitcase full of men's black clothes, black touques, a flashlight, a knife, pelets and a reciept for a pelet gun, men's underwear, a toothbrush, a white t-shirt and a Cavalliers jersy.......we were all a little creeped out by it. My mom called the cops and the one who's been dealing with her case is coming to check it out tuesday...... we don't know if she's going to go to get her prints done or show up at court, but my mom is going to talk to her at work tonight....
