Convincing parents I dont believe in religion

I have gone to a Babtist church my whole life, and have been babtized, but no longer want to follow that path. So, How do I do it? Please reply

 

walk the other way

 

Truly this is one of the toughest battles of the modern life. It is one that you'll be fighting for the rest of your mortality.

Best way to win is to just be calm and peaceful about it, and no matter what, don't get into arguments over it. Just have discussion about it and if they don't agree with you, tell them they don't have to agree.

 

I made one big mistake a few months ago. My mom started teaching Sunday school, and I started helping her. Now she expects me to keep going.

 

It isn't somehting that is easy to do, especially when you are still under parental control.

First you have to remember that you parent's are gonna freak out because they will think you are going to hell. They don't want their kid to die and go to hell, and as christians they likely believe that is where people go who reject their religion. You'll also have to get past any mandatory church-going they may require of you (if they do). That can be a source of a lot of arguments.

There are different ways to handle this.

You can either humor you parents (thats what I did) until you are older and they respect your opinion and intelligence more. Also, once older they won't be able to force you to go to church, so you can avoid that argument...

OR

You can tell them, explain how you arrived at the decision you have, and hope they respect it. You'd need be able to express your thoughts clearly, definitively, and confidently because the more you understand and can clearly communicate your perspective the better your parents will be able to understand you. It's probably unlikely they'll take you seriously though, they'll just want to see you as being rebellious.

You know your parent's better than we do, though. How do you think they will respond? How is your relationship with them currently? What's the worse that can happen if you have this conversation with them?

 

If it makes you feel any better, even the ol' rabble-rousing atheist here hasn't told my mother.
It would break her heart. Big time.

I don't church it up, no. I don't pray. I don't give her the slightest impression that I give a damn about religion (which I don't), but I have yet to sit her down and say, "Mother, I am a DEVOUT atheist and a member of the ACLU."

She may have a heart attack. And I'd like to keep her around a little longer.

But, sooner or later, you gotta come outta the closet.

Funny thing is...everyone else knows, but her.

 

Damn, Lib.

What's wrong with you? Heathens are not supposed to have morals!

Get with the program, dude.

(laughs)

 

yea. it sucks.when i told my mom i dont wanna be catholic she freaked out. she said im not old enough to make that decision. but that makes no sense at all since confirmation happens at 14. the whole point of confirmation is that you are an adult in the church and are old enough to understand and follow the religion. i diddnt want to do this but my mom made me. so now i told her that if i am old enough to be judged by god if im going to heavon or hell, and if im old enough to understand and follow the catholic faith alone, then why am i not old enough to choose what religion i want to follow, if any? she was at a loss for words since i proved her hypocrasy and the only answer was that since i am a kid i have to do what she tells me.

i dont think there is a real easy way to get a strict christian mom to let you not be a christian any more untill you are 18. since i proved my mom wrong and she still wont listen, i decided to avoid many arguments and stress by just waiting it out.

 

I dont guess I made my self clear. I dont want to give up Christianity, I just want to give up religion. There is a difference.

 

Oh, well... good luck with that. *lol*

Considering "Christianity" IS a religion and an arrogant one at that.

I know "Christians" don't like the truth, but they've always seem to have a problem with it, so that's nothing new.

 

Yes, there is a difference. But that doesn't mean that what you just said is a huge contradiction.

Listen -- if you're going to give up religion, everything to do with religion, the best you can be is agnostic or atheistic. You can't still be Christian if you give up religion.

 

A guess: What I'm hearing you say is that you don't want to give up on the ideals and spirituality demonstrated by Jesus Christ, you just want to get out from under the trappings of institutional organized religion.

 

Exactly. I just don't like organized religion.

 

The only real solution to this is to be brave enough to talk to them about it and try to explain exactly how you feel and see what happens. Your parents are supposed to want you to talk about your feelings with them, and if they totally refuse to listen to you, well then you know for certain where they stand.

Matthew 6:5-6: "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men....when thou prayest, enter into thy closet and when thou has shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret...."

I think that passage is a pretty clear-cut argument. I think Southern Baptists incorporate their religion into a certain way of life, though. It's as much a manner of socializing as worshipping the Lord and it works for them.

So yeah, all you can really do is try and earnestly explain to them why you feel like you do and hope they'll explain to you why they feel as they do. And if they end up saying "Get your ass to church" well at least you tried. Honor thy parents, right? You'll still be the same person inside.

 

Get thee to a nunnery!

 

The problem in your situation is that even though you're a Christian on a personal/spiritual level, your parents may strongly equate being a "real Christian" or being "saved" with membership in a particular organization.

I'm assuming you have a good relationship with your parents...nothing in your posts have indicated otherwise.

What you've got going in your favor is your personal faith. If your parents can see the difference between that and just going through the motions of belonging to a particular church that you no longer derive any faith-sustenance from, then it's a matter of communication, which understandably may be very awkward until you are all on the same page.

If Christianity = Denominational Church Membership for them and they consider that non-negotiable, the best you can do is play along until you are of age and then cut loose. One thing that can't be taken from you is your inner spiritual connection...try to find some positives in your predicament and stick it out.

 

People go crazy over religion. They die for it, they fight over it, families break up over it. THis is going to be a long battle between you and your mother I'm afraid. She'll always try to pull you back over to her side because people who are very religious always think theirs is the right way. Libertine's got the right idea, you dont need to tell her. If you feel you must then you must but you will never see eye to eye on this. You'll need to learn to co-exist and agree to disagree.

 

Pretty much the same for me. I've blasted christianity and organized religion in front of my parents a couple of times, I refuse to go to church, but never really came out to say "I'm an athiest. I don't believe in god, heaven, or hell," because I am concerned that my parents will stress needlessly over me possibly going to hell. Plus, I have an immature christian stepmother that is so fundie she doesn't let her kids trick-or-treat on halloween, and she would start a lot of drama in the family over it.

Isn't it a shame that people will let religious choices tear a family apart? That such environments are created that children can't comfortably explore their spirituality and world without risking the wrath, disappointment, and god knows what else of mom and dad?

 

Yes. Sera.

One of my problems is that around nearly everyone I am a blatant atheist and blaster of religion. But, my firstborn--a boy, is extremely close to my mother and she reads him Bible stories and such.

Some of my other friends have jumped on me about this, but I told them that he still believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy for goodness sake! I am not going to take "God" away from him. That's just selfish. Kids should be allowed to be kids and believe in fairytales.

No, there will come a time when he will ask me certain questions and I will answer honestly and truthfully--never pushing my view, but giving him the reasons why I see it the way I do and encouraging him to further explore all religions if he'd like, but to keep in mind that it may all be bunk too. Never be gullible.

I will teach him to be a critical thinker.