i guess this is about a relationship. i'm new here. my hometown is beautiful. i live in a naive, yet dangerously confused city in vermont. outside this city, within miles is my heart. dirt roads, bonfires at night in the summer. 40 oz in pick up trucks with plywood in the back, of some man building his cabin. mountains you know like the back of your hand, the paths you feel like your veins. there is ugliness in these miles outside the city. heroin, broken homes. poverty within the abandoned, loneliness. so much fucking loneliness. inside our city... your friends, acquaintences break social class boundaries. insanity, the richest of the rich, spin & watch the clock tick together. theres nothing to do, except find comfort in anyone who will come to you. secluded, i guess you could say. we have a bridge, we sit on the arches. we wait through the desperate winters to sit on our arches. they're tearing this bridge down this summer. everyone says "they're tearing down my bridge." this city is our school. this city... prison. its a labyrinth, its our building, our structure, our body, its a female. shes a beautiful, controlling mother. she never wnats to let go, we can never leave. the youth, we leave and leave and a year later, maybe eight months. we're back, living by the clock tick, never satisfied of reason. they say, "they" are the drifters... they visit our little "quaint vermont hippie town" and fall in love with the outside... they say we have it all. i see we have balance of city and country, and its fucking phenomenal. but they don't know... they don't know how tightly the fingers of the streets are around our ankles. they dno't have the blood bond, the taste of betrayal from the city, her underlay of never letting go. am i crazy? to feel this insane towards a place? its relationship enough. anyway. i have an opportunity to leave. adventure is boiling in my younger-than-expected heart. how can i taste it without feeling guilt from home??
