so, I got married and became a babysitter-in-law

ok, I'll give you the fact that I am not yet a parent, but don't know where else to put this thread.

My husband has a sister 10 years older than he, and she has 2 young kids (boy, girl). My hubby and I've been together for 6 years, married for 3. For a long time, I've been trying to make plans to hang out with my sister in law, like have a girls night out or something... I'd really like to get to know her. But every time I try she somehow swindles me into babysitting her kids instead. Apparently she doesn't hate me or anything, she just completely avoids the topic.

So, now I feel more like her babysitter in law rather than her sister in law. So what do I do?

 

::sigh::

i wish i had a babysitter in law

ps, just say no if you dont want to do it.

 

LOL i have the opposite problem. My sisters-in-law are younger (17 and 18), and i'm the one with the kids, so they'd rather play with my babies than talk to me, haha! The younger one actually forbade me from reading her xanga *sigh* talk about making a person feel uncool.

Anyway...just tell her you think her kids are great, BUT you'd like to get to know her too

 

^^I like what ryvrewillow said ^^

 

She sounds like a User, who is extrememly selfish. She wants to party with other people and is taking advantage of your good nature. I hate when people act like this. She is using you!

The next time she does this, tell her "Sorry, I have other plans." Or "My babysitting fee is $8.00 an hour." It is not nice for her to take YOUR invitations of freindship and turn them into free babysitting.

You have tried to talk to her and she won't do it. It's evident that she just wants you around to babysit. It sucks when we want to be someone's freind, and all they do is use us, but we can be secure in the knowlege that these people don't make good freinds. Have you seen her in other social situations? Is she a user? My guess would be yes. People like this tend to see other people only in how these people can do things for them. Relationships like this often can turn toxic, if you don't give her some VERY firm boundries.

Let her know IF she wants you to baby sit you will need x amount of days or hours in advance, IF she cancels plans the two of you made together, as a social situation you will NOT babysit and stick to this. (She will then deny she ever did this.) She will probably try to make it all "your fault." If she does, you are probably dealing with a toxic person (and many can be quite funny, attractive, ect) but the key to this is HOW does she treat you? Is SHE always the one who does anything to get what she wants regardless of what it does to others? Is she using people all the time? Time to firm up your Boundries (because people like this are great at breaking them down, to get what THEY want) and ignoring her selfish behavior.

In the long run, you are probably better off not being a good freind with her. Find out how many people she has "cut out" of her life in the past 10 years. My guess would be a large number, usually because they did something she didn't like, or she didn't get her way in the relationship. Keep your distance from people like this.

Blessings, you are a good person and you don't need to be treated like this.