I'm not sure if this is the proper place to put this, maybe I'll go to relationships also, but I'm just curious what everyone's take on this situation might be. It's long. I like to write. First, I didn't go to college right out of high school. Long story. So, I started working full time when I was 17. Have had my own place, car, bills, all that fun stuff. Always lived paycheck to paycheck, often on credit cards (no more credit cards now). Anyway, I never really figured out what I wanted to do with life, so I just kept being an administrative assistant. I'm good at it and it is easy for me. Not very intellectually stimulating and lately it is not very fulfilling (I really want to help people, not make appointments and push papers all day). It really isn't my calling. I know now that I am supposed to be a teacher/counselor (I think I knew all long, just took me a while to trust my own instincts). Over the past 6 years or so I've been taking classes here and there at the local community college when I can squeeze them in (I have a part time job at the Y too). I never really had a plan though, I just took classes that had an interest in such as English, Oral Communications, Psychology, and Sociology and History. Now that I know what I want to do, life is more complicated than it was back when I graduated high school. I'd have to pay for school myself, or get Financial Aid/Student Loans. That isn't a problem for me. The problem is paying the rest of my bills (which are just the basics: house payment, utilities, car payment, insurance, groceries. No credit card bills or anything). So, my boyfriend who makes a lot more money than myself, said that I should quit my job and go to school full time. He thinks it will be better for me to just do the degree the "right way" because I struggle with two jobs and school, and because I'm not happy with my job anyway. He says that he will take on all of the bills, and that I would just have to keep my part time gig at the Y to pay my truck payment and kick in some extra $ when I have it. We've been together for 5 years now and we do plan on getting married (except I've always wanted to have school out of the way before we got married, and we don't have a ton of money saved up for a wedding). I don't make a whole hell of a lot of money as it is (considering where we live). I bring home about $280/week and he pays for a lot more than I do (our bills aren't split even because he makes more money and I can't afford to pay half). But I'm just wondering if this is a good idea or not. I feel odd letting him pay for everything. Of course I would do the exact same thing for him if the roles were reversed, but it still feels wrong to me. I don't like asking him for money (though I do take it when he offers and I'm broke). It kind of makes me feel a little insecure and as if I would have less say in the house and stuff because I am not bringing in a paycheck. I'm just wondering if somewhere down the line he is going to throw it in my face that he pays all the bills, or hold it against me somehow. I really don't believe he is like this, but you never know what could happen when people live in stressful times. Most people have told me to suck up my pride and not look a gift horse in the mouth. I'm wondering what some of you think. Thanks, Jen
LOL, none of the questions people post here are really for any of us to decide. I'm ultimately going to make my own decision (though I think I already have) I'm just looking for another person's take on the situation. Maybe they see something that I can't see because I'm in the middle of all of it. I've learned the hard lesson in life that you definitely take the advice of others, especially if they are all telling you the same thing. Too many times have I not heeded advice and I've been wrong every single time. I'm stubborn, but I'm not stupid. Thanks for reading my long-ass post though.
i think you should go for it since its what you seem to want to do, and it also probably would be easier to just go to school and finish it all at once instead of extending it over a long period of time. That way, you can stop struggling on three things at once and do things one a time in an order that you prefer to do. good luck on your decision whichever you decide to do
I would suggest going back to school full time. Of course, relying on your boyfriend financially assumes you are planning to spend your lives together (which is the impression I've gotten from your talk of getting married at some point). 1. You're supposed to be partners, right? In that case, it should be an over-all balancing of input over the long run, rather than short-term calculated reciprocity. So let him support you through school (which it sounds like he wants to do for you), realizing that there will likely come a day when he will need your support (which it sounds like you would want to give if the situation were reversed). 2. From a more selfish perspective, he is making an investment in your future together by supporting you through school. You said yourself that you are earning less than he is, so are not able to contribute an equal amount to household finances as it is. Assuming a long married life together, supporting you fully through a couple of years of college, so that you can later earn considerably more than you are now, is a sound investment. If your pride does not like to accept gifts, that's fine -- don't look at it as a gift. Look at it as an investment. And that's my 2 cents.
Thanks I told him that I will take him up on his offer. Now I just have to get everything with my job in order so I can give notice. Boy that part is going to be hard. Thanks again everyone.
if you decide to take out loans and let your boyfriend pay for everything make sure your commited to reaching your goal or it will be a great wast of time and effort.
Oh yes, that is quite true. He told me first before the offer was on the table to set a goal, once I did and realized that I was serious about finishing school and getting this degree, that is when he made the offer. But I know that I have to finish if he is going to give me this wonderful oppertunity. Thanks
