family planning/counseling

Did any of you visit a family planning clinic before or after you found out you were pregnant? Hopefully this is the right place to ask this question... I guess this is more a question to those who were unsure about continuing with an unplanned pregnancy in the beginning. Who did you talk with about it?

For low-income families, how much help do you receive, financially, in caring for the baby? How difficult is it to work and/or go to school with a baby to take care of?

Any info or advice or anything would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

 

Neither one of my pregnancies were planned. I didn't visit a family clinic. I did, mistakenly, when I suspected I was pregnant with dd1, go to a pregnancy center which gave free pregnancy tests. Then, they gave me a bible and quoted scriptures to me. So, unless you are into that, do go to one of those places.

As far as the financial assistance-I received Medicaid which paid for pregnancy and provides insurance for my daughters. I also got free bc after. You can get WIC (women infants and children) starting while you are pregnant. They give you vouchers to buy things like milk, juice, cereal, beans, peanut butter, tuna, cheese and eggs. I opted not to get it though, because I don't like having to get a specific kind/brands of food. Plus, they push formula. Also you have to attend these bogus nutrition classes. I opted to get food stamps so I could get the kind of food we actually eat. Like fresh produce, and organic stuff.

 

thanks for responding sugrmag, that was pretty helpful. are you basically only allowed WIC OR foodstamps? is it not possible to get both? How difficult is it to get Medicaid? i guess i'll have to look all that stuff up...


anyway, i guess i'll explain my situation... let off a little steam too.... i just found out i'm pregnant a few days ago and i'm torn about what to do... i totally freaked out and cried and my sig other held me, (even though we both kinda knew already but hoped we were being paranoid) and we haven't told anybody else because we might be aborting it... even though i told myself a few years ago (i'm almost 23) that i was too old to have an abortion and that whatever i got myself into i'd just deal with it.... our parents warned us not to get pregnant when we moved in together though.... and now that i'm actually faced with it i'm not prepared at all, and my SO is even less so.... i have one more year of school before i have my bachelor's and my SO didn't even graduate highschool... he's from a different country so he can't work here right now anyway, and is going back for a few months in july because his allowed visiting time is up then... we haven't made any definite marriage plans, but WERE thinking december (of course if i have the baby i'll be about due then...and the wedding would probably have to be pushed back or we'd just get a courthouse thing because pushing it back would mean my bf would have to wait longer to become a permanent resident) *sigh* i'm leaning towards keeping it now (though i was pretty set towards abortion at first, when i thought about it... then the more i thought about it and read stuff the more i thought i should keep it... ugh) and my sig other is leaning the other way.. towards abortion. we're not considering adoption because we don't feel comfortable with that at all.
He has been so loving and tender and even softly touching my belly (which i asked him to stop because we were still deciding what should be done) and then when i told him i was leaning towards keeping it he seemed pretty put off... maybe he was being so nice because he thought we were on the same page, and not because he felt tender towards the fetus?

so there ya go... if anybody wants to give their two cents or their own experiences i'd really appreciate it, and thanks again sugrmag.. oh and i wont be visiting those free pregnancy test places either... :/

 

hey
I was 18 when I found out i was pregnant and I also lived with my bf at the time (now my husband), and we were totally unprepared. Neither of us had finished high school, I had sereious depression issues and couldn't hold down a job, and my dh couldn't get a decent job for more than $12/hour. Abortion wasn't an optioon for me, although what you choose to do is your choice.
I don;t want to sound all preachy, but all that I can say, is that having my daughter was the best thing that ever happened to us. He's in college now and I'll be joining him in September with the help of a government grant.
Is there a way that you can put school off for a year? I don't now where you live, but in Canada we have daycare subsidies so you don't have to pay out your entire check to the daycare.
Do you have other support around you? You said that your parents were lecturing you on not getting pregnant when you moved in with your bf....are they realitivly fogiving people? My mom used to say the same thing any chance that she got, but when it really happened and she saw that we were serious about improving our lives, she offered to let us rent the basement of the house so that we could move closer to the city to go back to school. So just because someone says something, doesn't mean their mind might not change...
As for your bf, maybe you should have a long talk with him about the possibility of keeping the baby. Listen to what he has to say, too. Men take this news differently than women do. Women focous more on the emotional aspects (providing love and care) where as men focous on the more practical aspects (financial needs, etc). Since he can't even legally work there yet, it's understandable why he may have had a stand-offish reaction.
But yeah, all you can really do is take it from there. If you both decide on abortion, so be it...if you both want to keep the baby, start looking into ways you can get through your last year of school (maybe he can watch the baby while you're at school and he can get a job by the (hopefully) and work when you're home....or if he ultimately decides he doesn't want to keep it, and you're on your own and you do, look into a lot of options that you have around there...as I can see you have already been doing.
Good luck, keep us posted on what happens.
Lots of hugs

 

Okay, my two cents on this situation. Other than the immigration issue, I know where you're coming from. I moved in with my SO in May 2005, just as a summer thing. No one even knew we were dating. Now, almost a year later, we're close to expecting the birth of our first child and our wedding day.

When we found out I was pregnant, we were BOTH unemployed. He'd just received a job that didn't pay well and left him completely lifeless every night, so was thinking of quitting it and finding something else. We were about 3 months behind in rent, going into debt more quickly than I could even imagine possible, and then we find out we're going to be feeding someone else on our non-existent funds.

For a split second, I thought abortion. My SO, however, being a strong pro-lifer was just trying to accept this news from the start. He looked harder for a job. We started trying to budget, get out of debt. I looked for a non-strenuous job, at least part-time. And we didn't tell our families right away. Hell, i think forumers knew before my mother, by about a week.

But now, hon, we're making it. SO is working in a good steady job that doesn't leave him zapped, and it's fairly decent money. I'm working from home, babysitting as well as some from-home phone work in the hours I'm not babysitting. It's not much money, but with a strict budget, we're making it. Add to that, my WIC, medicaid, and I could still qualify for foodstamps and cash-aid, no matter what happens, we're covered!

You qualify for WIC if you're pregnant and on medicaid, no matter income. I know in WA, you qualify for medicaid if you are pregnant, no income questions. The only income-dependent aids are food and cash.

Hon, you and your SO need to sit down and talk out every single possible little emotional, mental, and physical consequence of every possible decision you could make. Making decisions that you are not both completely comfortable with will tear you two apart more quickly than you could probably realise. And I'm sure you two love each other too much to let anything break you up.

Also, remember that despite maybe giving you a hard time in the beginning, your family is going to stand behind you 110% with whatever decision you make. My mother, who always said she would disown me if I got pregnant before I finished my BA degree, is the most supportive woman now that she knows that I'm doing what I think is best for myself and my family. And SO's family has been more than generous as far as helping us out with small "loans" and taking us out to eat for no reason when we had absolutely nothing in the house to eat.

Also, you should look at IcedTeaPrincess' story. It's not the same financially as yours, but it does thoroughly cover the immigration issue. She's canadian and her husband is American. They're living seperately at the moment whilst trying to get him into Canada. They're both working to save a bit of money during this pregnancy to get him over there as soon as possible.

Don't be afraid to ask more questions, get more support from us. This forum is a good place to find support for whatever decision you make.

*hugs*

 

IMO, if you have any doubts at all, DON"T have an abortion. That should only be done if you can never ever see yourself regretting it--because if you can, you will. If you're the kind of person that can say "it's just a few extra cells, same as having a tumor removed" then you could possibly be ok with it, but if you believe you are carrying a baby, with feelings, and thoughts, and a spirit, then abortion is most definately not for you.

 

That's not true. I am a resident alien and I have been able to receive all the gov't help WIC, medicaid, food stamps, etc. that any citizen is able to receive.

 

thank you guys for your stories and advice. it makes me feel less alone. I tried to make an appt today to get a medication abortion (two pills vs. the alternative: surgery) i called the only clinic in my area that offers it (which is about an hour and a half away... grr) and the lady at the front desk, i'm assuming, transfered me to another lady's desk and her answering machine picked up, saying they're closed on good friday but will reopen monday 8-5 and i called at 9:45 am on monday..... very frustrating. i seem to have worse and worse experiences with planned parenthood, even outside my own town. so anyway, hopefully she will call me back today, soon.

i don't think i'd be completely happy with either decision and keeping the baby would add much more stress, and chances are i'd have to do it alone, so aborting the fetus now is the best choice for me. i've been trying not to think about it... i don't feel pregnant besides my boobs hurting, but when i do think about it i just feel so shitty about the whole thing... i should never have gotten pregnant, i should have persisted on getting birth control (i had a really difficult time trying to get an appt at planned parenthood. i would call and they would tell me to call back or hold for a very long time, and i went in once to get a morning after pill and asked to get another appt for birth control but when the lady charged me she was telling i wouldn't be able to get a discount and blah blah and didn't get me an appt... it's like they don't really want to help... or they're just too busy.) anyway, i'm now staying abstinent until i'm on birth control. How stupid of me though... and i want to tell my mom because i need support, but i don't want her to freak out and get mad or get distant and not talk to me for a while...

*sigh* okay i think i'll be fine... thanks for the oppurtunity to vent, hipforums.

 

I hope things are well with you, cat. Only you know the best way to deal with this. And, what you said about " don't think i'd be completely happy with either decision " is NORMAL. Make a decision based on long term needs, as, you are right, both decisions will have hard times after them. But, which will be harder for you, in the long run? That is how to make the decision.

I am not going to include my own situations, as everyone is so different. Only YOU know what is best. You make the best decision you can for the time. If the medical termination is best, then persist this week and go with it.

Blessings.