does it matter what people think or say of you

and is it any reason to be unsure and insecure.i realize there are some situations where its important,like when you're looking for work or trynig to get laid.

 

...

 

depends on how much i've had to drink

 

A life spent being concerned of what others think of you is the mindset of a slave.

I've been there before.

 

HELL NO! I like myself just fine. Thanks! I can't dislike you until I get to know you.
Ya know?

 

i used to worry about it.not so much now.i'm medicated.just wondering what others thought of the subjest,was also looking for insite in case those thoughts and feelings ever came back.that way i'd be a little better prepared with something to assure myself with

 

yeh since i cam off my meds ive been like that......

 

I wasted a lot of time and energy when I was younger, worrying about what impression I made on people, wanting to be popular and part of the in-crowd. It wasn't until my mid-20s that I found "myself" ... allowed myself to be what I wanted to be and not what the latest fashion/music scene/lifestyle, etc, was persuading me to be. None of that made me any happier or gained me more friends/street cred ... now I have little credibility and I don't care ... well most of the time anyway!

I'm fairly happy with myself despite the excess weight that I'm carrying but every now and then, I get to feeling insecure ... especially in the past few years because I've moved around a lot in a short space of time and due to that I've felt isolated and not part of any particular community. However, I've been in the same city and at the same address for two years now ... so I can say that I'm feeling more comfortable now.

 

Hi,

I was bullied from the age of 11-16. Which obviously dented my confidence and made me ask the question "What do people think of me?". I am still not at all confident now and I come across as being a nervous person.

But since leaving School, I've been through College and met some fantastic people!!. There are still strangers that pass me in the street and make a remark or whatever but now I am just like "F**k you!!, I am me and I don't give a toss what you think!!" and that's how it should be in my opinion!!.

Will.

 

Right, I think that there are certain times and people that are WORTH impressing, but MOST of the time I don't give a shit what people think about me.

People I'm already close to, their opinions matter to me. If I decide to change something in my life, and they strongly disagree, I like to ask their views, opinions, and reasoning because sometimes other people's outside take on things can be of great HELP.

If people want to judge me then, no matter if it IS someone in the employment position or whatever, then fuck them.

There's a difference between what people think of me, and judging me.

People who don't know me, and just take a look at me and draw a conclusion...I could care less what they think, they can go straight to hell.

But for someone who has taken the time out to get to know me, I might consider an opinion of theirs.

Not always though.

I'm happy and comfortable with who I am, and that's all that REALLY matters to me.

I think if what people say matters that much to you, then maybe you aren't comfortable with who you are in the first place and you need to work on accepting yourself, or changing some things that you're unhappy with.

It's natural to feel a little insecure if someone says something bad about you, but you have to develop a skill to realize that it IS normal, and that it doesn't mean you should reconsider who you are or how you look, etc.

 

Also, I want to point out that, it's also partly your own fault sometimes.

I used to have a problem with focusing on negative. 100 people could tell me I looked stunning one day, and on that same day ONE person could tell me I look hideous, and I'd disregard every single wonderful positive compliment I received and sit there and focus on that one criticism wondering if maybe just that 100 group of people were just being "nice"

LOL

And I think a LOT of people do that

Now I tend to tune out compliments and criticism unless asked for...like on my art or something.

 

I started not caring anymore, and I feel much better.

 

Now I think about it, I'm not good at taking compliments either. When my beloved tells me I'm looking pretty, or sexy, or whatever, I just get all embarrassed and tell him to stop being soppy. When a work colleague compliments me on finding a smart solution for something, I just say that I got it from someone else, or that I'm just being resourceful. It's like I don't feel that I deserve being complimented, it just makes me feel all blushy, breathless and embarrassed.

But like I said earlier, generally these days I feel more comfortable with myself than I did back in my 20s and teens. So maybe when I hit 40 (which isn't too far off now) I will feel even more comfortable. My beloved tells me that he found this to be the case, you become more accepting of yourself with age.

 

It depends who's saying it.
Like if my parents didn't like my hair cut, I'd say 'I don't give a fuck' and I'd mean it.
But if my best friend were to tell me my hair was ugly, I'd be like "Frig that hurts man" and mean it.
Hahah

 

Yeh, you're right there. I take it in more if it's someone whose opinion I value, whether it's a compliment or a criticism.

 

Yeah.
Like if someone I really don't like tells me I'm pretty or something, I'm never the least bit flattered because I couldn't care less what they think of me.

 

"Let them say what they want; let me do what I want."

I think it's a necessity to disregard what people think, if you're going to do what you want to do with life. In my experiences, a lot of people are going to be pissed off if you do anything other than what they want.

 

RIGHT ON!!!
amen

Someone is always going to be unhappy with the choices you make, sometimes just plain intimidated/jealous/threatened, sometimes this or sometimes that; whatever the reason, true friends and love, and family will accept you for who you are, and keep their noses out of what you do with yourself, as long as you are not harming yourself.

 

I could really care less what people think of me. I realize that in my life, there will always be people who don't like me or don't find me "cool" or whatever. It's not my problem...

 

Well, ideally Id like to say I dont give a fuck


but I do most of the time.