Psychotic Step-Dad

ok so me and this other kid(dante) were hanging out at another kid(kyles) house, anyways we just got there went in his room, and we turned on TV, and his step dad gets home right after we come in, and his step dad knocks on the door and says hes calling the police because he thinks were smoking cannabis in kyles room. but we were all just haning out and eating fast food we just brought there. and the step dad snaps and screams telling us to get the fuck out of his house, all this shit, we agree and leave, then i hear the step dad going psycho on kyle, and i forgot my cell phone in his room, and i forgot ming and dantes food, which we had like $10 between us. so I walk back in the house, and the dad comes stomping the floor as he approaches me and screams right in my face, and says " GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!" and im like, "excuse me but may i please get back my phone, i seem to of left it there, because of the rush" and he raises his hand like hes gonna hit me, and he pushes me out of the doorway, and slams the door in my face, then i hear him slamming kyle into the walls and all this shouting. so we left in dantes car and he dropped me off, and now i am phoneless. btw kyle is only 15 years old, and his step dad hits him.. i mean somthing has to be wrong with the step dad to beat the shit out of a 15 yearold... btw kyle is antisocial and has depression, i think its cause the step dad is so violent. this is the 2nd time ive witnessed him hit Kyle. so im now sure he does it quite often. kyle denys it, but he has like strangle marks, and shit from fingernails scraping his neck, whenever i see him. i think its cause the step dad fucks w/ him for no reason. Both times ive witnessed it, Kyle has done nothing wrong to deserve it. and i mean nothing, like completely minding his own buisness. the stepdad LOOKS for trouble, and starts shit for no reason.

 

well, until he's pulling a gun on you two when he's drunk, he only counts as hyperactive, not psycho. buck up, boy.

 

btw, don't smoke pot or keep it in his house. that's fucked up.

 

i do smoke pot, i am 18, and no i dont bring anything the step dad doesnt want in HIS house. i respect other peoples property and understand i am a guest. but the way the step dad acts isnt rational at all. i mean we were just watchign TV, and eating our meals. even if we were smoking, does that justify hitting a 15 yearold who cant defend himself.

 

nah. but there's worse, i know. you COULD consider pressing charges, you know.

 

No it doesn't. It's totally wrong behavior and you, yourself, can see how it's screwing Kyle up. I hope he doesn't become abusive himself.

 

lol. sorry. skipped the beating up the teenager bit. press charges. i've endured the smack down a few times myself. not enough to press charges, though.

 

KC, I don't know if he could successfully press charges for being pushed out of the guy's house. What he could do is call Child Protective Serivces and report the abuse.

 

well, i was referring to the abusee. though an argument can be made for stealing the phone, since the bastard wouldn't let him get it & wouldn't bring it to him.

 

oh if i dont get the phone back, theres gonna be trouble. i mean if he really needed MY phone so badly, he could of asked politely and i would of letten him make a phone call. but i dont think he has any use of my phone at all. he just diddnt wanna give it back to me. or maybe he was to preoccupied kicking kyle around. i would of stuck up for him, if the dad wasnt on that addrenaline rush he had going. it pissed him off more that i was acting so calm, and diddnt act intiminated by him. i wanted him to hit me, so i could press charges on him myself. him pushing me out of his house wont do me any good in court. my dad was a violent person, and when i got old enough, i realised hey, ill just call the cops on my old man if he hits me. and never again did my dad hit me, he learned his lesson. how tuff do u feel when u push around someone who doesnt fight back... kyle wont call cops on him himself because hes not comftorable, because the step dad probbly threatened him sayin hed kill him if he told the police. man some people are really fucked up in the head...

 

Could you talk to his mom about it or are you uncomfy approaching her?

 

the mom knows...

 

if you really want to help your friend, call child protective services. Abuse like that only gets worse, and if the mom knows, she's just as bad for not stopping it.

*rant warning*
Parents who choose some abusive ass hole over thier own child piss me off so much, I'm not even a mother and I know that if anyone ever so much as raised a hand to my child they'd be flat on thier ass so fast...

ok, done ranting

 

It's illegal to know of abuse and not report it. So by all means, get ahold of the cops, CPS, something. There is nothing more pathetic in my mind that someone who gets his/her jollies by beating on people smaller/weaker than them. Ack, I'm all riled up now, so I'm gonna close before I start ranting.

 

Maybe you should talk to your parents. They should be the ones to contact CPS and maybe-if they remove Kyle from his home, he could stay with you? Does he have any good relatives nearby? I know you said that you are 18, how old is he?

 

definitely talk to adults about this. the counsellor at school. your parents. anyone who will take it seriously and report to cps. the school counsellor is a mandatory reporter, and that is who I think you should talk with.

you don't know what you'd do if you were under the control of a physically abusive man. You don't know what it's like at all. You don't know what it's like being afraid for your life, for the life of your precious children. You don't know what it's like being made to believe that you deserve what he does to you. Stop with the judgment when you have no idea what it's like to be in this boy's mother's shoes. She needs help, not hate. It's not her fault what her husband does.

 

My mom's finace is like that.
I finally got sick of it and moved out when I was 16 with my now dh. I don't want to get into the whole story, but he sure messed up a lot of crap in my life, and after I moved, he started in on my sister, who used to be a nice kid with lots of good friends.... now she's a drug-addict, sleeps with dozens of people and tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago.
He's moved out now, but my mom's still engaged to him...he's got her in a major financial bind and even when she has tried to break it off, he's got this f*cked up way of getting her back again. Men like that know how to mind-warp people.
Definately call CPS, but yeah, it would probably be smarter if your parents do it. From my experience with the cops and child services here, they tend to think that kids/teens are just looking for attention.

 

((((((((((((kirstyn)))))))))) I am so sorry you and your sister had to endure that horror. My thoughts are with you.

 

blaming the victim is why abuse is so accepted in our society. It only hurts the person who is already being harmed the most. Having children with an abusive partner only makes it that much harder to leave. It only gives the abuser more control over his victim. Most women in abusive relationships don't recognize the abuse for what it is, they have been beaten down emotionally to the point where they think it is all their fault whatever their abuser does to them, or to their children. The control the abuser has over his victim cannot be fully understood by anyone who hasn't experienced it firsthand. Abuse affects people very deeply emotionally, in strange ways. Often there is a weird kind of amnesia... hard to explain unless you have experienced it yourself... where you don't remember the worst of the abuse. For a very long time I blamed my mother for letting my father abuse me, and it just made it worse that she would never admit that the abuse ever happened in the first place. She still doesn't remember any of it. But my perspective has changed. It changed when friends told me of instances where my ex husband was abusive to me in front of them that I totally cannot remember. I mean, I can remember some of the things he did to me, but I totally have no memory of him ever striking me in front of other people. It wasn't until 12 years after I left him that I was able to talk about some of what I do remember, and that is when my friends told me about this other stuff, stuff I still don't remember, but that fits the pattern of the things I do remember. It's really scary that his abuse is still affecting me, even after so many years have passed.