Most guys I have dated, been friends with, and have just become acquainted with, have always seemed to have some nature to protect the women/girls that surround them. It used to irritate me, because I felt as if they were belittling me, thinking I couldn't take care of myself. LIke I was some sort of damsel in distress. But, as I've grown, I've developed a liking, and appreciation towards the men in my life who ARE protective of the females around them, because I believe it's not that they see me as fragile... but they see me as important, and want to keep me from harm. I have a theory that it's natures way of keeping our species alive. Anyway, any thoughts? I've come across girls who hate it, like I used to, and others who thrive off that safe feeling from the protective males in their lives. How do you feel about it?
i love the feeling of having guys watching out for me, making sure that i'm safe as well. perhaps it's just the way guys are, but it seems that most would be willing to put their lives on the line to protect those they love/value/care greatly for- something that i as a woman would have a tougher time doing. and i love that- makes me feel so secure and cared for around them.
I like to be cherished and looked after, but I also like to lookafter my boyfirned, in a traditional sense too, make sure h9is belly is filled wit good food and that he feels special. I like to make him little pressies to let him know I care, and make sure hes never short on cuddles and kisses. He likes too look after me by making sure I'm safe, giving me lifts to work and stuff, and taking me out to nice places every now and then. and holding me at night time
well, anthropoligically speaking, there are biological reasons behind this protective reflex. women are thought to have smaller stature, higher voices and rounder, softer, hairless faces to invoke the same sort of protective instinct that a healthy male would have for a child in his responsibility. no, we're not children, but evolutionarily speaking, it WAS very handy having a male want to protect you. so, remembering that there is a subconscious reflex for this behavior, a biological imperative going on, kinda helps deal with the modern fallout.
hehe I'm the same way I always gripe about not wanting to be traditionally domestic, but the truth is I love cooking for my boyfriend, and feeling like I'm taking care of him and keeping him content ^_^ And I've always been a present-maker...but my current beau is the only guy who ever appreciated it and liked it. All my other exes would laugh at me and ask me "why" I was making things for them, even when it wasn't any sort of special occassion.
Thank you. I've always felt that it is a man's responsibility to protect women. This does not confer control, power or superiority. Its a responsibility, not a tactic for subordination. I don't mention it because of the resulting accusations of chauvinism. It's good to hear that there are women who know that protection is not control.
I think there is a compromise that must take place between men and women. I like to think of it like we all have skills and talents, andsometimes we can share them. I might not be good at fighting off thugs or driving, but my boyfriend is, and he's not so good at being really romantic or remembering things, but I am, so we share
yeah, we each have someting we're good at, some things are biological, some things are learned. understanding people, and where they're coming from, really gives you a good idea on how to deal with each other's idiosyncracies without anger or resentment..
No matter how old we get, we need nurturing....and I think the way each sex generally treats each other, is our form of nurturing each other. The way my boyfriend makes me feel safe, makes me feel like a little girl sometimes, but not in a creepy weird way lol... just that refreshing feeling of being cared for. It's nice. ^_^
I like guys who will step up for me if necessary. But I also like guys who, if they need physical or emotional support aren't afraid to come to me. The last two men I've dated have been neither. With both of them, I felt like I was dating emotionless boulders that just didn't care about anything. And yes... if I get a boyfriend anytime soon, I'm definately cooking him dinner. Its so satisfying.
it so depends on the man in question, and his motives. some of the most abusive men I've ever met were highly protective of the women who they felt were beneath them, in need of their protection, when in fact they were the ones doing the most harm to those women. sometimes it really is all about control. But not all men have those control/abuse issues going on. I am a very petite person. I have always liked that "safe" feeling when in the arms of my man. He is so much bigger and stronger than I am, and I know he would never ever use that against me, but always to protect me from harm. And he likes making me feel safe and protected, too. Like someone else said, we are different and we are good at different things. He is much better than I am at those things that require strength, and I'm much better at those things that require abstract thought or compassion. And that's a good thing!
I know what you guys mean! I had a guy I hardly know stand up for me the other night, who told another guy who was bothering me to leave me alone. It's good to know that there are men out there who won't just stand by and watch as something bad happens to a woman. ~Nova PS~ Apples+Oranges, I was just listening to the song from your sig 5 minutes ago! Tegan and Sara rock.
I really appreciate and agree with what everyone is saying in this thread. I looove feeling safe with a guy--love, love, love it. That is, when it's coming from a place of respect and giving. If it's about control, image, or manipulation, then I'm very uncomfortable. It's super-easy to sense if the protection is respectful or not, which is interesting from an anthropological perspective as well.
Oh I completely agree 100% with what you said about being easy to sense if it's respectful or not. And there really are some guys who just use it to get into a girls pants or something.... but *most* of the guys I know, are very genuine about it.
I really love that too. and on the other hand provide a lot of things to my man. But with an ex, it all was so bad, he protected me from EVERYTHING. Imprisoning me in a way. I need my freedom, but I also need a warm and cozy place to return to. So a balance between protection and "exploration"
