Really depressed last night...

I got really depressed again last night...
I was lying in bed reading the end of Searching for the Sound, and listening to "Morning Dew".
The Grateful Dead have always really spoke to me. In a world where I could never fit in at all, Jerry Garcia has been someone I could look to as inspiration, and I almost saw myself as him. It's been a big part of me.
I also have two really close hippie friends, who are pretty much my best friends. Last year when I was homeschooled, I spent most of my time with them, and it was with them I altered my consciousness with pot and psychedelics for the first time.
Reading this book, I saw myself as Jerry, and my friends as Bobby and Phil. It got me really depressed to read about that, and how his life ended...it got me back to my depressed thinking.
I want so much to be back to that time where I felt free and I could spend my time around beautiful people and beautiful things.
School and a lot of people I see are so ininspiring, and I miss all of that so much. I don't know what to do, I'm still really down...

 

its tough to think about getting through your state for your you. but just keep introspecting, find out deep inside of you whats making you like that, youre not here for nothing dude... try to feel the awesome presence around you, just the simple love people in your family can send to you... try blocking the dark ideas, or the dark thoughts... go outside on sunny days... even if you really dont wanna get out (i know how it feels), its always more positive then negative.

 

its also proven light affects the seretonin level... which is good for treating depression, and it somehow worked fine on me.

 

Get more excercise, spend more time outside, lay off any drugs, etc.

 

yea. thats really what there is to it

 

meh im feeling that tonite..

..i think i may go back to sleep.

 

hang in there heather.

 

damn . her new pics are too pretty. the smile, man, the smile has it all. and the last picture ... too cool

 

Jerry Garcia is one of several examples of why I truly detest heroin. I like the guy... but he fell victim to the evil drug, making me question him a little bit..

 

like others have mentioned, light and physical activity can help... once you're ok enough to go outside into the light or do exercise.

Let it out. Cry if you can, it helps. Talk it out, call kids help phone if you need it to be an anonymous person you talk to at any hour of the day.

Remember those who love you, and how you love them. There are always going to be days that suck immensely, but the people around you are what gets you through it (for me at least)

<3

 

Thanks for your advice. I really appreciate it.

Btw, the new sig pic is excellent!

 

I'm surprised he made it all the way to '95.

I know what you mean about the dead speaking to you, they do the same for me. Though I haven't really put myself in the same position as Jerry Garcia before. I get depressed when I think of Jerry Garcia, along with many other of my musical heroes, and how they've lost their lives, whether to drugs, murder, freak accidents, whatever. It seems that rock stars have a hard time letting their time come naturally.

 

you are too sweet! thank you soo much. and morrocan raccoon, dunno if ur talkin bout me but if u are thank you so much im glad everyone likes my new sig pic.. im quite proud of it also hehe