erh.. my first posted story...

the story with no title that happens to be my first ever posted on the forums......

I watched as the olive green sea hitting the edge of the boat and foaming in to a creamy white of my grandmas’ skin then realizing gravity was hard to beat and rejoining the olivey abbess. A pelican dragged my eye away from the slate of water to the sky. We were both racing back to shore, before darkness faded in, although he stopped for a quick meal on the way and probably a pelican family on shore waiting for him. I had no one. On the horizon the tye-died sky was turning into shades I dyed my Easter eggs years back. Slowly, moving into shore, the land became more than a giant outline of a bush and single branches became visible.


WELCOME BACK! HORRAY! Wait… there’s no welcoming committee, not for me. Hugs all around…not for me. I made my way out of the crowd, slipped out like a shadow. I didn’t care that they don’t notice, their ghosts in the ghostly world, I’m the only one alive. I am alive aren’t I?



My car was parked miles across town and it was late, too late to get it. No, I suppose that’s not it, really I just had nowhere to get to. The lady up at the desk of the hotel was a ghost too. Where is all the living? She wouldn’t look into my eyes, stared down at her finger nails the entire 30 seconds of our meeting. Simply handed me the key and pointed down a hall, the wrong hall I might add. I don’t think she would of taken my money if I hadn’t shoved it under her nose.



The lights flickered on and slightly lightened the room. Flies were scattered on the bathroom mirror, its not like I was going to use it anyway. I turned on the TV, just to look out the window. Thousands of little lights zipped across my window screen. Cars carrying people to places. People I’ll never meet, places I have yet to see. I wonder what their stories are, are they alive?



I dreamt a dream that night about heaven, and how everyone up in the jam-packed spacious place was alive and living in love. God gathered us around a giant TV set, but we found a window to look through instead. We saw the world and all were dead. Thousands of people were dying on earth, yet God said ‘Look at the beauty of birth.’ While those who were being born on earth he said ‘Don’t worry, they’ll make it through. Its like babies in the mothers womb, they think its snug and happy till they come out and have a whole world to play in.’ When I woke it all made perfect since. When were babies the womb is our world, when were supposedly alive the world is our playground, and for all eternity Heaven is where we roam, each being greater than the last world, wouldn’t you say? Maybe I’m just crazy…



I’ve found that hotels don’t use regular names for shampoo. In the shower that morning they had ‘hair cleanser’ and ‘hair silkener.’ That shower was the longest shower in the history of showers. I watched each little bead of water descend from the showerhead down and break into hundreds of tiny baby water beads. I made the decision, I would leave today and do whatever I felt would make me alive.



So there I was, speeding down a lonesome road blasting the radio trying to drown out my thoughts. Where am I going? How am I going to eat? What about sleeping? I didn’t want to be bothered by the details. I turned the radio up and kept my gaze on the horizon.



I drove as fast I could out of the mainstream society and went off down the coast, where I was hoping real life would start.

DUN DUN DUN! and thats as far as its gotten so far....i dont know where to take it from here, that alwasy seems to be my problem.. any advice?

 

im sorry no one replied to your topic. i loved it. i think you have the soul of a poet. this wouldnt sell as a short story at all, but some of the things you did in there make me think you could produce fantastic poetry!

 

i thought it was cool, im sorry that ppl suck

cus they do

suck that is

i thot it was great tho

-----BATMAN-----
ps i give it 17 1/2 stars

 

soul of a poet... hah... im flattered. even tho it wouldnt sell as a short story. Im glad you guys replied, i gots ta admit i was getting a little discouraged. Thnks.

peace