gravity chunks

last weekend there was a very strange occurence. i will fill you in, in hopes someone can explain this to me so perhaps i can avoid it in the future. here it is:

i was at a party at my friends house, who shall remain nameless in case the government secret agents involved with area 51 decide to look into this phenomenon. I got a little heavy into the drink which isnt normal for me. as the night wore on a few more drinks met my lips and found there way into my gullet. suddenly out of nowhere...i was seemingly pulled to the ground. as i lay there the world began to spin and i found myself stuck to the floor!! STUCK!!! i saw other walking around happily enjoying their normal gravity equalized environment. but for me i thought iwas a goner. i was also unable to yell for help due to the increased gravity in my area sucking my words to the ground also . all that came out was slurs and moans. with a lack of options i fell asleep. and i found to my suprise, that in the morning i could walk again. i could jump off the ground the normal height i can , and could move without resistance. although because of the overwhelming pressure of the extra gravity i was left with amonster headache.
i attribute all this to random blocks of invisible gravity falling from undetectable alien spaceships who are performing tests on humanity. if anyone,.... ANYONE has any ideas on how to avoid this growing problem or how to see these "gravity chunks" as ive dubbed them. please help

 

i dunno man, maybe, maybe there is like too much iron in booze and it attracts gravity chunks?

 

i hear they cause love handles.

 

ohhh shit. i have a phobia of love handles. im fucked now

 

stop taking acid man

 

i'm going to have to move my calendar, I left it on the floor after making appointments yesterday, and my cats jumping all over the place so might rip it-does any of that help at all?
S

 

well ive never touched acid, but if you think it would help redirect the gravity then maybe i will. oh and maybe your calender was struck by a chunk? i hope it wasnt a sports illustarted calendar..

 

If you reached that level of gravity it's lucky you wern't barfing chunks - many a drummer has left his mortal coil in that zone man..

 

it was the witches calendar, what else would I have on my wall- wait don't answer that
S

 

One of my friends was at a party and everyone was drinking and a guy there got hit in the face by the floor.

That's all I had to offer to this.