Ok People...I think I'm gonna go Mad ! I have this friend ...GOD , it's all such a long story , I'll do my best to shorten it. I grew up w/ this great guy , this guy has changed a lot & been through so much over the years...he 's taken Loads of Ketamine etc....You Name It , He's Done It ...Loads Of IT !!! he's really paronoid Of Life now. he called to see if he could VISIT & I said Sure ...when he got here , he said that he wanted to look for a job & stay in Austin , so I said" Well , our home is open" until you're on your feet. He's Sucking Me Dry ! He does nothing , but lay around & drink All Day ! he's going through several gallons of Vodka a week...he hasn't taken 1 single step to find a job & I've been feeding him & paying for eerything...I can't take it, he Has To Go ! How can I Nicely Say This Isn't Working, You'll Have To Go !!!??? HELP , PLEASE ! There's So Much More , But I'll leave it at that.
Wait Why the heck would you want to be nice? Tell him he's bleeding you dry and to leave. Plain and simple. Dont be nice, show him you are serious.
Pull him aside. Sit him down across from you at the kitchen table. Look straight in his eyes and say Get the fuck out.
LOL , I feel bad b/c his Mom killed herself in front of him when he was 5 ...he nearly died from cancer as a child , he was recently shot , yada , yada ....That's why I'm having trouble , All of that & So Much More . But I relalize that people have To STEP UP & stop playing the victim , I think he's taking advantage of my kindness...ERrrrrrr , Frustration !
Anyone who would willingly do lots of lots of ketamin... well, I would really have to wonder about them.
He IS taking advantage of your kindness. He may not want to or even realize it- but he is. I don't know what you should do, because I understand the situation in my own way....but being a crutch is never helpful.
yep, he's taking advantage of you lock the liquor cabinet lock the fridge He can eat/drink when he gets a job and pays for his own damn supplies. You said he could stay, but that just means shelter, that doesn't mean propping him up for his whole life
Be stern (you don't have to be mean about it but make sure he knows you are serious). ONCE. Deadline. Stick to your deadline. (You decide if the deadline is "be out in a week" or "have a job in two weeks", etc.)
I might say I've heard that threat once upon a Time but yall might get the wrong impression bout me... *L*
balance_n_venus, you've got to lay down the law, as hard as it may be. You can't let him get away with this, because he'll just keep continuing to do so. Tell him that he either needs to get his act together and contribute or he's going to have to find another place to stay. Otherwise, you're enabling him to continue his destructive behavior. He needs some tough love sister. Good luck...I know it's hard, but you can't put yourself through this. He has to change, for himself. {{{Hugs}}}
i learned this one the hard way,,, too late fer this dude ... but in the future,, when ya do this inviting folks into home stipulate, i will help ya out x amount a days .... in that time,, i expect you to find a job and blah blah all yer stipulations,,,,, etc,,, spell it out how it will be beforehand,,,,, they still wont get it,,, if they are this much a using abusing type person anyway but you will feel a whole lot better about it when ya have to say look i stated what was necessary of you when i offered, you didnt follow seeya... .. temper tantrum where ya chuck shit n scream loudly helps at this point,,,, they believe ya meant it then n go,,,, generally pissed off at you but by then all you can do is chalk it up to stupidity of humans and hope they one day understand where you came from and say thaks mate,,, you made me really think bout my shit,,,,, doesnt real often happen that way they generally just continue on down the stupidity highway...,,, but those that do really make yer efforts in helpin humanity worth it..
