Last night I came home with this boys number written on my arm. My mom asked who it was, and I told her it was this guy steve I met at the mall, that he looked like my type, long hair etc…at which point she replyed “kate why don’t you start thinking about something else besides guys”. Yes, I know, I date many guys, but for a reason. Im looking for the right one. Its fine being single and stuff, but I just want something to stick. I have problems finding guys who I truly like, and dispose of them quick when I see its going no where. She then said “you know, focus on other areas of your life, get it in order”. Then I started to think. The reason I have been so neglectful of other things in my life is because being in love again, and being loved back, is the only thing I truly want out of life. That because, at the moment that is absent, I lack inspiration, drive, motive and creativity in other facets of my life. The feeling of love is completely superior to any drug, emotion, sense, etc. Pure selfless love driven by endless passion, its beautiful. That, for me, is my biggest inspiration in any form of art I produce, and without it, it just seems, I don’t really care about anything. I know maybe that’s not the best way to look at things, but its true. People get inspiration and such from emotion, sometimes good, sometimes bad, but it is our emotions and spirit that drive us to want to do. And right now, well I haven’t drawn anything in months, I haven’t played my guitar in months, and I barely sing that much anymore, even my writing has dwindled down. And yes, it sucks because im the type of person who would rather be single for the rest of her life than be with someone who I didn’t love with my whole heart. Maybe im screwed up or something, in the way that I look at things, but that’s just how I feel. From love stems inspiration, and well, mine is lacking severly. Anyone else feel this way?
i used to dumped guys wen i felt flaws in them or thought that they were too much of one thing... in love,i feel liek that way over this one guy. its been a year and a half and i still doodle his name all over my school books and possessions... i still love him like i first did. i havent put my education behind, but this guy just completely melts my heart. to me, he's a rare treasure amongst toher guys.. for me , he perfect. sometimes i feel liek suchan idiot for loving him so much, and i wonder if he loves me like i love him.... if he were to end this relatinship i'd be a boat with no sails. he's "touched" me so deeply.. without him i would be very depressed becuase at times when ive been down he'd be there to get me back on my feet again... he's taught me so many things.. what love is really like.. how to trust someone.. following your heart.. things cant be explained in words. and even though i 'd btich at him for satisfying his "needs" with other girls in the past before me... he'd always forgive me. he's forgiven me for all my faults i've done... and in return i give him my patience and strength and show him that im happy because he always tells me that what he wants me to be. .... but now this is going downhill... i dont know if he'll forgive me for what ive done after this... but of all those other times this is the time that i want to be forgiven for my stupidity. and im not sure that come again.. he's my inspiration, soul mate... and i know ill never forget him for my life to come. but without him i feel liek i have no direction.. i know its stupid to feel this way..yeah maybe im screwed up. but i love him so much... he drives me to do things liek what you talk about and i want him forever.
I'm mostly the opposite. I don't go out of my way to find the *right* girl anymore. I don't know if there is specifically a right person. You're either compatible with the person or your not, it entirely up to you and the other person to improve things if things are rocky. I don't think someone will come up to you one day, and sweep you off your feet. Things aren't always going to go write, so I don't delude myself with these fairytales. I have other priorities in my life that I would rather accomplish first like; school, a career, a house, and all the necessities. It can be slightly lonely, but I occupy myself with things. It's not really that important to me, however to each their own. I've learned my lesson(s) long ago, regardless of my age. I take note of things, and proceed with caution. This world isn't always as great as it's made out to be. I certainly can't bring myself to be so needy, and dependant of someone. The idea alone disgusts me. I can make it on my own, it'll be rewarding. Then when I get older, and everything is settled; maybe I'll concern myself with finding someone to live my life with. Maybe.
Your mom makes a good point. Love is a wonderful thing. Finding the right person is awesome. Until you figure out who you are on your own, cultivate your own passions without needing someone else to fulfill you, you're never really going to find something that "will stick". Honestly, if I were a guy, I would run screaming from someone who talks like you do in this post. Unless I were looking to manipulate you, anyway. It sounds as though you are looking for someone to fix whatever is wrong with you -- your lack of inspiration, drive, etc. That just sounds desperate. Desperation is NOT attractive. I'm not trying to insult you, tho it probably sounds like I am. But this is basically the reason you should listen to your mother -- when you find your own inspiration within yourself, when you don't need anyone else to fuel your creativity, you will become far more attractive to the kind of guy who is really worth being with, who you can develop a real lasting relationship with.
I have the same problem. The right person just doesn't come around. I think the guy was with longest lasted around three weeks. He loved me, and I felt guilty about dumping him, but I just couldn't take it anymore. It would be nice to have someone again, but despiration is not the key. You've gotta keep your passions up. Read a good book, sing and paint a mural, go on a road trip with some friends. . . The right boy will come for both of us, one day. You just gotta have faith.
No, in response, im not looking for someone to help me find myself, or anything like that. I know myself through and through, what i want out of life, what i want to do with my life, and yes that is in the works. Im very much an independant individual. Its just from happiness comes inspirtion, i am an artist, a writter, a singer...it helps with all these facets when i can experience deep emotion. I have been in love before, and always will be, but i had to let him him go b/c he changed, and wasnt who i fell in love with, it was hard to do, but i had to do it. Im not desperate in any way, i dont throw myself at guys, they chase me. I just want the feeling to come along like i used to have, pure selfless love, where it doesnt matter if your loved back. Its an amazing feeling, and with that, for me, thats when i start to beam with creativity, ideas, etc...well of course the bad emotions have a way of doing that too...im more or less just tired of dating and fucking around. i want something real...but wont settle til i find it.
well i find that my attitude in my every day life depends on how well my love life is going, and it tends to effect me more than other things that go bad or good, like my job, family, etc. and i find it hard not to be in a relationship or not liking someone anyway, i think thats just an addiction though, like thats a problem, i dont think thats normal, but then i could be different to you i mean i know i should put more emphasis on the rest of my life, and the effect it has on me, but generally, i dont focus on them unless im happily in a relationship, generally anyway thats just my experience Love Amanda
She is not looking for the answer, she already knows what the answer is. She just needs the motiviation to get her their. Hi It would seem that you are very much like me. The things said by you, although disapointing me in some ways, inspire me in others. I understand that you want to find that *perfect* person. But the truth is, no one is perfect. A part of love, being in love, and being loved, is to accept the others flaws, as they will yours. Sacrafice, compromise, it is all part of it. Alot of reasons people have trouble being with each other is more in the stuborness of themselves, rather then the flaws of their partner. You throw guys out the window because they seem like they want to do nothing. I can relate to this, as I like being with girls who are motivated, and want to do something with their life. I hate sadness, and am In love with happiness. My friends tell me I am way to happy for being single so long. I simply tell them, that happiness is derived not only from being in love, but from friends, from family, from ones life! I love and live my life to the fullest and most extent, and NO, that does not mean get hammered every night. I drink at most twice a month. When you find this person who seems like he wants to do something with his life, but then isn't, do you leave him, or help him? Alot of times many of people want to do extrodinary things with their life, but as is, do not posess the resources to do so including but not limited to money and time. As it is, you are looking for this perfect person. Anyone that you can imagine, is out their somewhere. The thing is, being this picky makes them a needle in a haystack, and I believe this is how absolute true love is formed. A person so rare, so awesome, so incredible that they just rock your world in every way imaginable, but yet is seen as another ordinary person to everyone else. This is what I believe to be love. It is what I want... How about you?
