As a person, I have always related strongly to my sexual urges. I identified them as a part of my personality. I thrived on sex (might have been what got me here, right now...haha). But during this pregnancy, most especially within the latter part of the 2nd trimester and now the third, I just can't feel sexual at all. I've not been more intimate than a kiss with Brian in I don't know how long. And while most of me just doesn't care, when I have a second to think about it, that little part of myself that just seems to NEED sex starts crying out. And frankly, I'm having a hard time dealing with this. I'm afraid this lack of sexual feeling is going to last a LONG TIME. That it's going to effect my and Brian's relationship. That I'm losing myself to my motherhood, and I just don't know how to handle this. Is the lack of sexual nature normal in pregnancy? Will I get it back?
(((hugs))) Yes it is normal, and yes, you'll get it back. Although, in my experiance, my sex drive was slightly different after I became a mother. When my babes are little, there's just nothing more important to me then tending to their needs. Infants need around-the-clock care and sometimes the sex needed to be put aside for a couple months. My thinking is: my children will only be "children" for a short period of time, my husband and I have the rest of our lives to have sex and to grow our sexual relationship. (I have the same thinking on housework ). Anyway, as I get older, my sex drive kinda ebbs and flows. Right now, being 38 weeks PG, it is simply non-existant. I have zero sex drive through most of pregnancy, everytime, without fail. Luckily, my husband is use to it LOL. That said sometimes he'll ask for a quickie, and when a man really wants to get off, they can do it pretty damn quick I'll lay still for him long enough to get his rocks off and then he's good for another three weeks LOL. Sorry, my post is kinda all over the place, about your drive returning, just keep an open mind, motherhood will change your life completely so just be open to your sex drive changing from time to time
I know this sounds like someting I might not say, but unless you are actually sickedned by the thought of sex, sometimes just DOING IT helps. It takes some of the pressure that is building off of the relationship, and a lot of times, once you get warmed up, you actually can get into it. You may not feel like it, while just thinking about it, but, if you start, you may start to feel different. I always found giving blow jobs good during pregnancy, as it kept my man releived, when I didn't feel like all out sex. He never minded! (I don't want to get too graphic, but as you get bigger, you may have to both lie on your sides, facing each other, as you or him on top during a BJ or regular sex might be impossible, as your belly gets in the way.) Bear used to say, "It's like trying to make love with a beach ball between us."
Some women's libido goes through the roof during pregnancy, and some women have next to no libido during pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my oldest son, my libido was insatiable, when I was pregnant with my twins, my libido was luke-warm.
I was in the same boat that you are. I think in the whole 9 months, my dh and I had sex about 15 times....pretty sad considering that was about 2 weeks worth of sex before I was pregnant!!!!! We did the "bj" thing, too. That kept him fairly happy, but it was so hard when I got bigger that it didn't happen that much, either. After you have babes, you generally aren't supposed to have sex for the first 6 weeks after, and the first couple times may hurt a little (lube!!!!), but after that things, should return to normal (except for the fact that there's a baby in the mix, now ) Leane slept long stretches at night when she was about 6 weeks, so that made it easy. And from 2 months on, she slept through the night, so we got back to normal pretty quickly. My drive isn't exactily what it used to be, but I was sometimes worse than a 16 year old boy....but considering that before, I really just sat on my butt and did nothing, except work part time for the most part, and now I take care of Leane all day, clean the house, cook and work part time, i think might is the reason
This is great advice! I usually dole it out myself. To up your sex drive, you've got to have sex. BUT, in my opinion, pregnancy is such an awesome time in a woman's life and everything should be just the way she wants it, it's a temporary situation so if you really don't wanna do it, then just don't. You've only got like 6 weeks or so left, and I'm assuming Brian has hands You also don;t need to wait the full six weeks after birth, you can do it as soon as you stop bleeding, taking it very easy of course and using plenty of lube. This is YOUR time, you deserve to have things the way you want
Thanks, everyone... My problem's not really with BRIAN in reference to my sex drive, but ME. Most of me is okay with not having sex, but there's that little nympho part of myself that feels like I'm just losing myself to mommy-hood. Sometimes, it's just really depressing...
We had sex right up to the end. And then there where three. It ain't easy havin' sex with a baby in the bed next to you, but we managed it a few times. Now, we WANT to have sex but, when J's finally asleep, we just look at each other and manage a loving smile before we conk out. But like colorful said, we have the rest of our lives to have sex, so, we aren't too hard on ourselves.
Oh, don't be too hard on yourself (((hugs))). In my experiance, the end of PG is so, so hard on your body and your brain, try to cut yourself some slack. And don't be fooled, you're not losing yourself to motherhood, you're turning into a mother. Period. It's a wonderful thing, trust me.
Aw, honey......that little nympho will come back. She's just got a really important job right now: Making an other Human Being. Don't worry. If you really are disgusted by sex (and some womyn are, and they always get it back OK) then don't do it. But, your body is going through so much, it seems to change, what your body needs, one minute to the next. Things will get back to the way you were. Probaby once the baby is born and is sleeping about 4 hours regularly. (some babies that's a few months, others, its more than a year. Don't sweat it.) That's the way it worked with me, and a lot of mamas.
