I was just doing some reading on AP, and upon reading this site http://www.parentingweb.com/ap/earlyconnect.htm, I feel really upset with the way that my dd's birth went. I saw it as a positive thing, dispite the fact that there were some things that I really wanted and never got....i just thought, "i got to meet my daughter, that's all that mattered." But the more that I'm reading, the more outraged I am. The hospital that I had Leane at wouldn't allow co-sleeping, or walking with your baby. They told me that birthing plans are ponitless, as you never know what will happen . At one point, i had her in the bed with me, and was told not to do it again. The nurses told me when to bf her and how, and it never worked, even when I wanted to, they said no. I defintaly had an adequate supply, considering the moment she was born, I was leaking EVERYWHERE! Later on, i had trouble getting it back up. Neither my dh and I were allowed in the room where she was being bathed and such, and the moment that she was born, she was placed on an incubator, not my chest and left there for over a half hour. My dh was at least with her, but I knew I should have been allowed to hold her. I kept saying, "I want to hold her," but it never happened. She was perfectly healthy, too. Then when they found out that she had a fever the day we were going home, they sent me home (i was sick), and kept her there. That's when the bottle feeding started and, in my opinion, officially ruined everything. After weeks of pure hell, Leane ended up being bottle fed. My postpartum weeks were about the most awful time in my life. I was soooo depressed I couldn't stand to think! I know that there's nothing that I can do to change this now, but I've learned so many things for next time. I would have had to pay for a midwife when I had Leane (we just happen to live in the only province in Canada where midwives are legal and they're not funded) so I went the OB/GYN route, because it's paid for. I just signed a petition to the Alberta government and am writing a few letters to our MLA. If some more mama's out there would like to sign it, here's the link: http://www.petitiononline.com/abfund/petition-sign.html? I am returning to school in the fall (don't want to leave Leane in daycare, but I have to go back to school, we need the income)...and I was planning on becoming an RN, and even working at the hospital that I had her, in the labor and delivery ward, but I have decided that I'm taking it a step further and going to become a midwife. When I realized how many things actually went wrong, I want to do all that I can to prevent this from happening to another mama out there. thanx for "listening" to my ranting
That is terrible, hard to believe that people can assume it's for the best or just not speak up for change. Midwifery is a wonderful vocation, am sure you will be excellent. Good luck
thank you. I never knew what I wanted to do until I got pregnant and started to do a ton of research. Then I realized, "this is what I want to do!"
Good for you. I'm sorry your experiance was so bad though If I were to ever go to school, it's be for midwifery too Go make a difference!
That's really great that you're turning a bad experience into something good to help others With my last pregnancy, i finally decided a midwife was what i wanted, and there were none around. Ironically, i ended up with the worst doctor and birth of them all! Cruel, cruel fate, lol. Please do go out there and make it better!
I am sorry you had such a bad experience. Sadly, very young womyn are often treated like this. I know I got much better treatment, at the age of 38, (and the staff knowing I was a HCP) than I did, (at a different hospital) during my first birth at 24. (I looked about 16.) Your doctor and the Charge Nurse are the best people to talk to. The floor nurses often have their own opinions about things, and some are great and others are not so good. Talk to your doctor about a birth plan EARLY in the next pregnancy. Good birth plans take into account "you never know what might happen." I think some doctors and nurses have gotten bad experiences from people who walk into hospitals, in full labor with a 10 page birth plan that no one has seen before. Full of things like "WE will NOT consent to a C Section, no matter what!" and "We will take legal action, if the baby is not available to us at all times." I have actually SEEN things like this in people's birth plans, and NO doctor or hospital can OK one like this. You have to work with your doctor, to get a good plan, even if you are having a home birth. I wrote more on birth Plan on an other thread.
Here's the birth plan Bear and I had for Sage. Everything was honored, except I was given oral pain meds, not the PCA, like I had with Moon and Lennon. I also didn''t get the private room, as a mom pregnant with triplets got the only free private room on the floor. But, everything else was honored, and they would call me about everything on the list, per my doctor's instructions to do this. (The formatting got messed up when I transfered it.) Birth Plan Requests for Maggie Sugar EDD Nov 12 1999 These are some requests I would like to have on file in my office and hospital charts for the birth of my baby in late October Early November. Delivery We are planning a surgical birth. I have some request of the surgical delivery team. 1) I would like to request a Board Certified Anesthesiologist to insert and attend my epidural. I do not feel comfortable having a student or resident attempt this procedure and do not want to give permission for one to do so. Residents and students are welcome to observe in a hands-off manner. 2) Because of scarring from previous surgery to my urinary tract, I would like the epidural to take effect before a catheter is inserted into my bladder. 3) I would like to request antinausea medication during surgery. I am prone to severe nausea. 4) I do not give permission for the infant to be given any vaccination (Hep B or any other) in the delivery room or at any time during our hospitalization. A vitamin K shot will be authorized by myself if needed. A PKU test may be given, without our written consent. 5) I request prophylactic antibiotic eye drops not be given to the infant for at least the first hour after birth, to facilitate eye contact and bonding. Recovery 1) If infant is stable and healthy my husband and I request at least 90 minutes alone with him/her immediately after delivery. 2) I would like PCA pain medication started as soon after delivery as possible. I do not feel comfortable having the epidural continued for any period of time after surgery. 3) If I am stable and able I would like to place infant on my breast in the recovery room. If I am conscious after delivery and infant is capable of sucking I will not authorize artificial nipples, bottle, formula, water, glucose water or pacifiers at any time. 4) If I am not conscious after delivery, I request my infant be fed my cup until I am able to breastfeed. On the Floor, Postpartum 1) We request strongly infant will not be given any artificial nipples, pacifiers, bottles, formula, water, glucose water ect. without my written consent. If infant is not able to breastfeed after birth we request child be fed with cup until breastfeeding is possible. 2) Because of intractable migraine and difficulty sleeping, I would like to request a private room. 3) If both infant and I are stable I would like modified rooming in with infant. 4) I would like to request that the urinary catheter be removed as soon as I am mobile. After my last sections the catheter was removed several hours after surgery. %) We do not give consent for any vaccine for infant. (Hep B or other) 6) If infant is male, we will not be circumcising. Thank you, Maggie Sugar
yeah, it's best to keep the birth plan to one page, so they will actually read it. I printed mine in blue ink to make it stand out. I discussed with my OB and my midwives (and my doula and my husband) every single thing in it, and made sure we were all in agreement. But the best thing about it was that my midwives' standard procedure was exactly in line with my wishes, and if I had to deliver in the hospital because of complications, most of that would go out the window. I did make half of the plan in case of another cesarean, to take back control of my birthing experience that was stolen from me with the "birth" of my first child. Yes, she was born, but I did not give birth to her. I had nothing to do with it at all. I don't have it saved on my harddrive anymore, but I might be able to find it at another forum I frequented back then...
When I went for the prenatal classes at the hospital where i had her, they said that they do not accept birth plans. I had written one up, but they said that births take weird turns sometimes, so their usless!
That sucks, teeny. Is there an other hospital you can have your next baby at? A hospital which accepts doctor or midwife submitted birth plans cares about patient care. The hospital I had Sage at did NOT accept birth plans at the last minute, or if you just walked in with one. It had to be discussed with your doctor and/or midwife, and he or she had to sign it and they had to be the one to submit it to ALL units you or your baby could possilby end up at. My doctor reqired 5 copies.
that is exactly why it is so important to choose your care provider and birthing location very carefully, and to really talk to your care provider about your wishes and fears. Some OBs are more supportive of women who wish to go natural than others, some midwives are less supportive of natural birth than some ob's, it all depends on the care provider in question. I got royally screwed when my OB was not on call the night my water broke, and I got stuck with a doctor who has a 60% c/s rate...
yeah, I talked with my doctor about it, and he said the same thing that the prenatal instructor said. The only thing that I was really pushy with that he seemed to somewhat honor was that I didn't want to have a c-section. If Leane would have been in danger, that was another story, but he just thought that she was too big and figured that i needed one. After I'd been pushing for a half hour, he said that it was taking too long....he gave me the option to keep pushing for another half hour or have a section. I picked to keep puching, and I did it ...he even shook my hand after and said that he really didn't think that i could do it (she was 9 lbs 3 oz) as i said, i wanted to have leane at the hospital....well, i guess that it would be more of a birthing center....closer to home, where only midwives practice. But they are not funded by health care, like docs are, and I couldn't afford it. The hospital were I had her was in the city and the closest one to the town where we live. It's actually the prefered maternity hospital in Edmonton....oddly enough. I mean, for the most part, more of the nurses were nice than rude. I had an awsome post partum nurse who stayed with me all day....boy did i need her!!!!!!!! We're planning on waiting until we're done university to have the rest of our kids, and we'll also be moving to British Columbia, where midwives are funded, so we'll be able to get the birth that we want !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only that, but by that time, I'll be a nurse and getting ready to go to UBC to become a midwife.
that sucks! When I first got pregnant, I really was clueless. I started craming on reading and asking doctors and the mama's here TONS of questions. So when it came time to chose where I wanted her, I went to my usual family doctor to get a referal. He asked what kind of doctor I wanted and he said that the Miseracordia hospital would be the best. It was closest to home and there were no OBGYNs in the town where I live, so that was the best choice. When I asked about the birthing center that we have in the next town over, he told me that I didn't want to have the baby there...... he had been my doctor since I was 6....I figured that he knew what was best. (like i said, at the time, i really was clueless and was relying on the info people were giving me). For the most part, my doctor was a nice guy....and I asked EVERY new mom that I saw around town where they thought the best place to have their babies were, and they ALL said the Miseracordia.....so I don't know why things went so bad...maybe they were ok with not having birth plans.
